I wake, you have already gone.
Only the impression of your head
on the pillow remains.
It is what we have become, you
exit as I enter, passing
in the dark pearl of morning.
I rise, step into fall and breathe
crisp air, like you it catches
in my throat. A translucent moon
night left behind is a weather vane
on the barn's roof.
I break ice in the horse tank,
a witness to winter's coming.
The day deepens as I finish chores.
Our buckskin weanling is a raw blast
of wind across her tawny living room floor.
She has no expectations, she goes
spontaneously and naturally.
She is already a master at being a horse.
Have we become masters of living
together alone?
The owl and I leave as you
and the kestrel nest
for another night.
(Gotta love shift work)
Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:55 am
fortheloveofagood... Site Admin
Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 2216
Location: loves land of plenty
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Mon Oct 08, 2007 3:35 pm
desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
that's nice rio i like it
Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:00 pm
Rio
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 49
Location: USA
Thanks all.......
Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:48 am
shanelvr
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 1078
Location: pennsylvania
I like this one too!
Shanelvr _________________ Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:51 am
smart_cookie
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA
Okay...*looks crossly at my Mels sisters*...how did y'all let me miss this talented gal, hmm?
Your use of the natural world to reveal an emotional truth is gracefully and eloquently done. And that little colt is absolutely adorable!
"I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained;
I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition;
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins;
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God;
Not one is dissatisfied--not one is demented with the mania of owning things;
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago;
Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth."
--Walt Whitman, from Song Of Myself
I love your poetry, Rio.
Cookie
Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:30 am
Rio
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 49
Location: USA
WOW...Thanks
Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:28 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Rio,
I echo Cookie's sentiment about you using Nature and animals to reflect the human condition. I like it; it's not obnoxiously obvious, yet at the same time, actually quite straightforward.
I particularly like the line: "Have we become masters of living / together alone?" This has a haunting, eerie quality to it that spares no words to ask the direct questions of life.
On a side note, your title makes me wonder: What would the world be like if there were no Masters--nobody to follow, nobody to do the following, no experts but each one of us, in each of our own ways?
Your words leave me thinking; this is a good thing. I hope to read more of your writing very soon!
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