Disclaimer (everyone gets told this now)
For your information the following input by me is my own personal opinion and suggestions.
My opinion/suggestions are offered as constructive criticism so take nothing I say personally.
If changes are suggested everything possible will be done to maintain the integrity, meaning and intent of your work while changing as little as possible.
You asked for feedback and criticism. If you cannot handle criticism then you should not have asked for it. I am sorry if you do not like it or cannot handle it but it is what you asked for.
You may freely use anything or nothing that I suggest…that is up to you.
This is only my opinion and remember different people see things differently and this is how I see it.
Above I said this was a nice poem...well that is actually an understatement...it is wonderful and I loved reading it.
The flow of the poem was very good and the metaphors are excellent.
One little problem I see is here...
"Never less then majestic"
In this line "then" should be "than"
Well done
Hugs,
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Thu Aug 23, 2007 4:52 am
poeticrendezvous
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 278
Location: IL
Createmyself,
I find myself wishing you had more than two poems posted. I really loved this one. I very much enjoy the way you write.
Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:46 pm
smart_cookie
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA
I agree with Poetic. Lovely stuff. My favorite lines:
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