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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

blame it on my eggnog

 LifeVita6
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fawnie



Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Posts: 719
Location: North Carolina 		blame it on my eggnog

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it was christmas eve at our house
on that cold december night
when santa and his reindeer
gave this family such a fright.

we had baked a dozen cookies
spiked the eggnog I'd prepared
then sat down reminiscing
about past christmas' we've shared.

we told a hundred stories
'til my lips were feeling numb
seems I'd over-spiked the eggnog
with that fine jamaican rum.

well soon the night had ended
and it was time to go to bed
although we'd try to stay awake
to glimpse the jolly man in red.

breezy placed a couple cookies
beside her written christmas list
only half a glass of eggnog
well I'm sure you get the jist..

so we laid up in our bedrooms
trying to hear the bells and such
but my eyelids grew too heavy
the 'nog proved to be too much.

dreams carried me with visions
just like the story goes
'til thunder rocked our haven
with a fright the household rose.

we heard a loud commotion
outside from the backyard
then this old familar laughter
from the belly oh so hard.

we opened up the backdoor
to the most god awful sight
santa hanging from the tree tops
was the jolly elf's hard plight.

we saw presents on the rooftop
and more scattered everywhere
but santa and his reindeer
seemed not to have a care.

they were tangled in the tree limbs
some were hanging upside down
santa dangled there just grinning
looking like a circus clown.

we called the firestation
heard the sirens drawing near
as I tried to piece together
while santa asked me for a beer.

then he started talking to me
asked why I'd left just half a glass
he explained it was too yummy
so some more he couldn't pass.

he then told me that his reindeer
seemed awfully thirsty from the night
so he gave them all a bowlful
before they once again took flight.

it was then that santa realized
the 'nog was spiked with rum
he said he had to use the bathroom
and find himself a tum.

but the reindeer wouldn't listen
as drunks they sometimes do
they took off towards the moonlight
back into the twilight blue.

they undershot their takeoff
then crashed into the trees
then santa started laughing
asked to use my bathroom please.

well we all began to chuckle
and helped him from his sled
asking for a couple advil
as he grabbed his throbbing head.

if you remember one strange christmas
when santa seemed to pass you by
you can blame it on my eggnog
for that rum's the reason why.

I know you must be doubting
but I sware the story's true
and if you plan to leave him eggnog
well, the best of luck to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

happy holidays everyone Exclamation
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Post Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:59 pm 
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Mdm Prez



Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 1536
Location: U.S. of A. 		fawnie

 This is hysterical!!!

Good to see you here fawnie, C'mon back.

Merry Christmas.

Cat
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you're not asking the right questions.
Post Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:13 pm 
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DarkChyldesKiss
Site Admin


Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum

LOL! Hysterical! So it was your eggnog that caused all that?
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(All works are copyrighted and protected.
DO NOT copy my writing without Permission!)
Post Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:48 pm 
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fawnie



Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Posts: 719
Location: North Carolina

ty ladies..

mdm prez..i keep trying but i've had way too much on my plate..
it's good to be busy though, atleast it keeps me out of trouble. Wink

Exclamation
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"to climb a moonbeam and search the stars to find us written where there is no ending"
Post Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:47 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

fawnie,

Hugs you tight

Love the write Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:30 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

Fawnie,
That had me in stitches. Had to read it over a few times and still tears welled up in my eyes, I was laughing so hard!
Oh mylanta that was funny!
Thanks for sharing it with us!
~Cheers, Jack
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Post Mon Dec 18, 2006 10:27 am 
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Xalia1
Moderators


Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love

Fawnie,

That was great!
Thanks for sharing it. Very Happy

Hugs
Xalia
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~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
Post Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:25 pm 
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Avant-garde



Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 2850
Location: NY

fawnie,

LMAO! This is great stuff....have any egg nog left?


smiles,
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~poetry is the lover ,mine artistic soul, and the keeper of my tormented mind.
Post Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:17 pm 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted

Laughing
Post Mon Jan 08, 2007 9:23 am 
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