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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

~ The Curse of Sparkles ~

 LifeVita6
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187
 		~ The Curse of Sparkles ~

 I hate sparkles!
No where to run, no place to hide.
Everywhere you go, everything you touch…
A bloody sparkle.
Christmas season, big deal, must everything be bathed in sparkles?
I am in a store, I see this cute stuffed animal…
I pick it up and it’s covered in sparkles.
Arge!
I hate them things!
I run into a friend and she uses lip gloss with sparkles in it…
She leans over and kisses me on the cheek for the holiday and “Bam” I have those damn things all over my face.
Think I was impressed?
Not frigging likely!
I try to rub it off and it spreads onto my sleeve.
I get home tear the shirt off my body and try to wash it,
But they spread even more.
To my Levi’s of all things…
I am far from amused!!
By this time I am losing my mind.
I wash the laundry 10 times, a pail of detergent gone.
Just as long as it washes those freaking things off my clothing.
A few weeks go by, I am happy, no sightings of “sparkles”…
I have a shower, get dressed and head off to work, as my daily routine.
I walk into work and find that the boss had decorated.
“Oh goody” I thought to myself in a sarcastic manner.
Until I get behind the desk and see sparkles starring me right in the face.
Fallen off from all the decorations.
I rolled my eyes and felt a need to keep a safe distance.
They are contagious, like a disease that won’t go away…
You couldn’t pay me enough to get behind that desk.
Then my boss explains that she was running late and needs me to vacuum her mess.
Where did we go wrong here?
I didn’t make the bloody mess and with sparkles of all things…
I wanted to scream.
I did as I was asked and, surprise, surprise…I have them all over me.
In my hair, on my chest…
Then to top things off, a client tells me that I am looking very “pretty” today…
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?
Pretty?!?
Me, pretty?
Was the man on glue?!?
*grumble*
If you only knew how much I HATE SPARKLES!

~JR
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© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Mon Dec 11, 2006 8:39 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

Roman,

I hate those damn tiny sparkly things myself grrrrrrrr can't stand them.

They get all over everything and if you get even ten feet away they seem to be all over you.

pushes roman into a room of sparkles...keep them away.

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:03 pm 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

Erie,
Hey now missy, no pushing me into them...Grrrrrr!
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© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Tue Dec 12, 2006 6:58 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:34 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

*sticks thumb in her mouth and tail between her legs*
So scared!!!
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© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:04 am 
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Sunny



Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 1571
Location: Massachusetts

Laughing Bah hum bug! Should we call you Scrooge? Sending you wishes for a delightful yet sparkle-less day - seems bland doesn't it? Well, enjoy!
Sunny Cool
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All poems posted by Sunny: ©2006 - 2007 Sunny (UN: Sunny at melswebs.com). All rights reserved. Any unauthorized reproduction is strictly prohibited. In other words, if you want to copy it, you need to get Sunny’s permission first.
Post Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:28 pm 
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lemons



Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 964
Location: here ... with her <3

Giggles

I loved the poem Jack!

But I do know what you mean .... along with sparkles another one that irritated me each year was the static electric icicle do dads people always seem to think they need on their trees. They still sell that stuff!! Thank goodness I have an excuse to NOT use sparkles OR icicles ... I have cats ... and they'd try to eat 'em! lol

Thanks for sharing this ..... made me laugh

(((((((JR))))))
Lem
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Post Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:50 pm 
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Avant-garde



Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 2850
Location: NY

(((((((((Jack))))))))) I hate it when I find a damn piece of glitter in the middle of my forehead and I have no frigging clue as to how it got there! Grrrr.!@#$%^&*!

smiles,
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~poetry is the lover ,mine artistic soul, and the keeper of my tormented mind.
Post Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:21 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

Sunny,
A sparkle-less day sounds quite content if you ask me!
Wink LMFAO!
Thanks!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:33 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

Lemons,
Isn't that icicle stuff you talk about called tinsil or something?
.....My excuse, I have a cat as well!
^5 Lems! Sparkle free holiday for the both of us!
I am glad it made you laugh.
Take good care my friend!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:36 am 
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Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187

Baby,
I so understand that feeling. Glitter and all sparkly stuff should be banned!
They are such a pain in the ass!
LMFAO!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Post Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:38 am 
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