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Poetry Forum Index -> Humorous Poetry

Poem (F)

 LifeVita6
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA 		Poem (F)

 I am alone
Writing this poem
Away from home
My alone
Poem.

______________________________________



Dear Smart_Cookie_Smart,

What drivel. I mean really, this is some of the weakest, most retarded doggerel I have ever read. Please give up writing poetry immediately and forever. Become an accountant. Drive a bus. Anything, just, for the love of god, woman, never write another line. Do this for mankind.

I mean, are you some chronic patient forgotten on a back ward, vacantly stabbing a finger at the keys of the laptop you stole from the nurse's station? Please press the button on the pager you undoubtedly wear at all times around your neck. Tell whomever responds that it is time for your electro-shock treatment.

Let's examine this tripe...

"I am alone". Wonderful start, Shakespeare, you are probably alone because your previous "poems" have scattered everyone who ever came near enough for you to grab by the sleeve and compel them to read your demented slop.

I would analyze the rest, but have developed a crippling migraine from simply considering it.

If you have any pens, pencils, crayons, or markers of any kind, please destroy them. If you are using a computer or other electronic device, please hurl it out the window, and then follow with yourself.

God, what awful shit!

(signed)

Your friend, Smile

X
Post Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:53 am 
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combatbaby



Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 376
Location: Ontario

LMAO Laughing reading this whole thing has just made my day. Good stuff, smart cookie. Exclamation
_________________
>>"Someone else's pathetic fallacy just rained on my day." - me<<
Post Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:16 pm 
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magico



Joined: 02 Dec 2006
Posts: 28

hahahaha
Post Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:18 pm 
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a topless scientist



Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 131
Location: Ontario, Canada

Dear Smart Cookie,

You are a nutcase! but I love your writing. So, I would like you to carry on writing because, remember, you got me thanks to that special talent of yours : at least one friend and you'll never be alone again.

PLEASE VOTE FOR COOKIE THE POET!

We love you! Arrow

XOX

Ts
_________________
No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Post Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:52 pm 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

Laughing

Signs the ballot right behind topless

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Fri Dec 08, 2006 3:29 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted 		Re: Poem (F)
quote:
Originally posted by smart_cookie_smart:
I am alone
Writing this poem
Away from home
My alone
Poem.

______________________________________



Dear Smart_Cookie_Smart,

What drivel. I mean really, this is some of the weakest, most retarded doggerel I have ever read. Please give up writing poetry immediately and forever. Become an accountant. Drive a bus. Anything, just, for the love of god, woman, never write another line. Do this for mankind.

I mean, are you some chronic patient forgotten on a back ward, vacantly stabbing a finger at the keys of the laptop you stole from the nurse's station? Please press the button on the pager you undoubtedly wear at all times around your neck. Tell whomever responds that it is time for your electro-shock treatment.

Let's examine this tripe...

"I am alone". Wonderful start, Shakespeare, you are probably alone because your previous "poems" have scattered everyone who ever came near enough for you to grab by the sleeve and compel them to read your demented slop.

I would analyze the rest, but have developed a crippling migraine from simply considering it.

If you have any pens, pencils, crayons, or markers of any kind, please destroy them. If you are using a computer or other electronic device, please hurl it out the window, and then follow with yourself.

God, what awful shit!

(signed)

Your friend, Smile

X



Disclaimer!!!!: I have had several tequilas and am feeling kind of shit about my lovelife, my dead dog and the wrinkle i've developed on my bum so draw your own conclusions...

Well now lets see...The strength of this poem is the rhyme scheme which being exactly the same ohm sort of sound the whole way through is about as perfect as can be....one could probably meditate to it or something like that...
Unfortunately it goes downhill from there...
I can't really comment on the meter or even much on the content as the lines are so darn short that they are over almost as soon as they begin...
No wonder you're home alone if you have so little to say!

As for the second part of your submission...well that is exactly the sort of gobbledegook that I usually write when I've had several tequilas and am feeling kind of shit about my lovelife, my dead dog and the wrinkle i've developed on my bum ...

On the positive side the poem is so poor that it is likely to make all other contributions to mels (including your own previous work) seem like the works of genius by comparison... It is therefore likely to severely and permanently raise the self-esteem and pride of every other poet here. I would therefore like to encourage you to produce as much of this kind of thing as is possible. Do you think you could post one a day?

Well done and thank-you!
regards
pale
Wink
Post Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:05 pm 
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smart_cookie



Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 2310
Location: USA

LOL @ Pale !
Post Fri Dec 08, 2006 8:17 pm 
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Avant-garde



Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 2850
Location: NY

Cookie,

I bet pale is gonna have a ell of a hang over! As for you dear nutty friend. I never know what you are going to say. Hmm is that a goos thing or a bad one. Nice to be confused for a god reason. Now I am to tired from thinking about this. I must go take a nap.

smiles,
_________________
~poetry is the lover ,mine artistic soul, and the keeper of my tormented mind.
Post Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:05 pm 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted

quote:
Originally posted by smart_cookie_smart:
LOL @ Pale !


*hic*
Post Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:54 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted

quote:
Originally posted by babyrouse:
Cookie,

I bet pale is gonna have a ell of a hang over! As for you dear nutty friend. I never know what you are going to say. Hmm is that a goos thing or a bad one. Nice to be confused for a god reason. Now I am to tired from thinking about this. I must go take a nap.

smiles,


*urp* Evil or Very Mad
Post Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:55 am 
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