Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Troubles with my girlfriend
Ladies, I know I've been a bit quiet here (or at least in the chat), it's because I have some problems with my girlfriend
Almost two years ago, I fell in love with this wonderful girl who I met in the net. We saw each other irl and for me, it was love at first sight. At first it was really fantastic and wonderful...for a while. But then ourtrouble started in the beginnig fo this year and the problems are grown. She started to say that she can't handle our long-distance thing (that's what she called it). I was trying to say to her that she has to, I cannot make this work alone and I don't want to loose you, ever!
Now I feel that she's always yelling to me. Everything I do, I do it wrong. (She's involuntarily the dominant person in our relationship.) I've asked her if we could talk, but she just says that I cannot do it and she's tired of talking. Recently she has said that she doesn't care anymore.
She's my first true love and I'm new in relationships. And this is so hard for me! But I feel like I have to let go of her, as hard and sad as it is. My heart (of course) is really broken and again - I'm all alone. I really want to be with her, but it's so hard. I don't regret anything what I've done with her, actually I'm proud of it! She's so amazing and very strong!
This is hard for me to talk about, and I'm not good at talking of my feelings. This is how I can tell about my situation. One person has helped me a lot, my "mummy", Mairi. Thank you! [Mairi, id you feel that there's something important missing, you can tell it:)]
kultis
Mon May 23, 2005 10:51 am
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Any advises ladies? Please, share them with me.
kultis
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
Kultis, I'm glad you have brought this out in the open, where people can share their wisdom with you.
Kulits calls me "Mummy" because I am old enough to be her mother, by the way. She is very young (she will not mind my saying that), and this is her first love she is talking about. The first cut is always the deepest, and hurts the most when the blade is withdrawn.
I am sure I have given her all the counsel I can (not that mine is of much use!), and that she would be grateful for anything you can add.
Oh yes, she appreciates a hug too.
Mb
xx _________________ all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.
Mon May 23, 2005 3:29 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Kul,
Sending great big hugs to you!
Dance~
Mon May 23, 2005 3:43 pm
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Mommy, it is! You don't know how much you've helped me!!And I can't thank you enough of it <3!!!!!!
Dance, thank you:) I needed it!
kultis
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
how are things going now? I hope things have improved, but if not, we're all here for you... *hugs*
ok so you've known this girl for 2yrs, you love her, everything is fantastic.... and then she says she cant handle the 'long distance thing'....
thats pretty much the story right? (if I'm missing anything, fill me in!)
My first instinct is to ask, what changed? why is she all of a sudden freaking out? Has she said anything?
you 'cannot do' what exactly?
Trust me sweetie I understand that you want to be with her, but its sounding like she doesnt want to be with you.... It may hurt to leave now, but unless she starts showing you some respect, and working with you to make the relationship work (you're right you CANT do it alone, relationships take two) then its going to hurt worse down the track...
Try and talk to her again, explain how serious it now is (she needs to talk to you and this needs to be sorted out) otherwise you dont think its going to work.... (as much as I hate ultimatums... sometimes they are necessary)
Just out of curiosity, how old are you both? is this her first girl-girl relationship? Does her family know, and do you know their opinions of the relationship?(ie are they accepting or intolerant?)
Keep us informed ok hun...
Hope things are getting better,
Sun May 29, 2005 12:37 am
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Hey belle_australienne!
Thanks for replying me, I appreciate it! *smiles* And sorry it took me quite a long time to answer to this
Well, the thing is that we broke up this evening *sigh* Right now, it's REALLY hard and tough for me, after all she's my first true love!! My heart is in zillion pieces right now..
kultis
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
Let mummy cuddle you better!
((((((((daughter))))))))
*
hugs her baby girl and kisses away her tears
*
Mummy
xx _________________ all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.
Fri Jun 03, 2005 4:02 am
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
((((((((mommy))))))))
*hugs back* thank you <3! I'm tired of crying, I don't wanna cry anymore *long sigh and swallows tears*
kult
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
I tried to help as much as I could, K. I am sorry i couldn't help more.
Mb
xx _________________ all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.
Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:57 am
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
You have helped me ALOT!!! You've given me so much vice advices, I've listened to them and learnt from you! More then you know, thank you so much!!!
((((Mairi))))
kultis
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
I dont know what to say except that I am sorry things didnt work out.
*hugs* hang in there, I know it is so amazingly hard right now, but it will get better (cliche #1) and you know we are always here if you need someone to chat to
Take Care hun
and I wish you all the best in your future relationships...
Jess
Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:00 pm
kultis
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 341
Location: a finn living in dutchland atm..
Hey belle,
well, I blame myself of it.
*hugs back* I know, here are so many wonderful people !
I hope I'll do better, I'm not sure if I can though..
Sara
_________________
There is something about that feeling
That gets me excited, when I
Step on that plane and fly away
Missing, dreaming, wanting
To step on that plane again
Go somewhere far, far away
Where dreams do come true
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 25
Location: Southwest Virginia
((((((((kultis))))))))
I know its really hard for you right now honey and I'm sorry, but it will get easier with time I promise. You are a very strong young lady and there is no doubt in my mind that you will make it through this. I don't really know what else to say sweety, I'm sorry, but if you need a shoulder I have two and I'm sure the wonderful ladies here will let you borrow one of theirs if you need it. You are a very sweet girl and are not alone at all. I know for a fact that there are quite a few people here who care a lot about you. If you need anything hun, you know where to find me. (If Im not on for a while don't worry, Im on my way to Finland with some glue to help put you back together)
BIG HUGS and kisses babe
Jessica
Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:18 pm
unlocked_behind_bars
Joined: 25 Apr 2005
Posts: 13
Location: Australia
Hey Kultis,
sounds heartbreaking....really hope everything is getting a little better each day.
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