I have had crushes on women since I was in 7th grade (11). I have lurked..posted on Melsweb..since forever..but this year has been so horrible for me. I have 3 kids, been married to my hubby now for 20 years in Sept (2010).
I really can't stand my hubby, except the fact that he fathered my kids whom I adore. But I am falling apart day by day now. I have never been with a woman, but know without a doubt I should of went the lesbian route back before I was married to my hubby. Now that I am in my 40's I am slowly falling apart day by day..hour by hour, min by min..etc..
I can only hope to be able to afford to divorce my hubby..but I have a parttime job atm, since I elected to stay home with my kids in their early years. I really want to divorce my hubby but I am finding it very hard to be able to fathom how to survive single..alone..with 3 kids. If anyone has had this experience I would love to talk with them. I am sooo unhappy I have thought about just ending it all a few times this year, but of course I think of my kids first and know how selfish that thought is.
I just want to be happy again.
Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:48 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
((((((((((Karigan)))))))))))
*sitting down beside you*
There are many women around here who have been married and who have come out during or after the divorce. I am not one of them, but you are definitely not alone.
I admire the clarity you have to be able to step back from your own situation and to see what is happening. That ability is a dear strength that many people lack. Hold onto it!
Also remember that you can always take advantage of the chat room. There are usually women in there at any given time, some of whom have been in your exact situation. Use us as a resource. We're here for you.
Hugs,
Eilidh
Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:32 am
Outdoors65
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Posts: 282
Location: Anywhere Outside
((((((karigan)))))),
Although I'm not married nor do I have kids, I came out late in life (just last year @ 43). This site has been very helpful for me in developing a sense of community and support as I have processed so many emotions that accompany coming to terms with myself.
As Eil says, there are several women here who have been in similar situations as you. Know that this is a place to feel affirmed and supported.
Blessings to you, _________________ Outdoors
Last edited by Outdoors65 on Tue Mar 02, 2010 1:41 am; edited 2 times in total
Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:46 pm
wys2uways
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 272
*sitting down on the other side of you*
You are most definitely not alone. I have been in your situation and I will help you in any way that I can or that you need me to. I am here for you.
I also had crushes on girls, but I went the married route. I have two beautiful sons and I stayed home with them. We have a wonderful relationship and they love my partner. They were 10 & 14 when this happened. How old are you kids?
Also, you and I are very close in age.
I divorced after 16 years and have lived with the love of my life since 1997. She is awesome and everything that I ever wanted.
I know how hard it is to actually make the decision and go through with it.
I also know how wonderful it is on this side.
Of course every situation is different, but you and I have a lot of similarities.
Feel free to PM me any time. I check in here every day.
Mon Mar 01, 2010 1:43 pm
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time my friend. I am here for you. If you need to talk, I'll be glad to help you through this. You've seen me through alot.
Thank you for the kind words. I forgot I even posted this, (I must of been drunk that night gah). I am still down in the dumps but trying to get out of it by walking 5 miles a day, which does help some. I would love to talk to you Jan and wys2uways (my kids are 16, 13 and 10) so we definately have a lot in common that way.
Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:03 am
wys2uways
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 272
Karigan, My PM box is always open and I check in here every day. Please feel free to contact me anytime. I am here for you. I mean that. I have been there. I know exactly what you are feeling. I didn't know anyone in my situation when I went through it and I would be more than happy to help you in any way that I possibly can. Consider this a life long open invitation.
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