GREEK I would have posted this in your dear so and so but did not want to break the rules. I am a member and this is to myself lol. Just to be clear, I am ranting towards myself.
Dear so and so,
why? how could you let her go? what did you do wrong that made her so desperate to leave? how can you sleep at night knowing he is gone too? what are you going to do with yourself now that all your friends cannot trust you? now that everyone thinks you are a raging liar? that no one knows how to talk to you? i laugh at you while you toss and turn at night. i mock your inconsiderate confusion. i do not know how you expect to move next...you do not know crap about dating and barely remember how to start a conversation. would you even have the balls to ask a woman for her number?? i doubt it.
you start therapy in two days, and refuse your meds again. how can you expect to get better? I bet you cannot be bothered with caring about your recovery anymore. i cannot blame anyone for avoiding you. you are a walking hazard to everyone around you. you suck everyone down into your depression and do not appear to care. you are an ass towards everyone and every situation.
i cannot believe how bloody helpless you are.
she was right when she called you a doormat.
you are pathetic.
grow a set and get better.
i despise you and your beliefs.
i hate you.
Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:04 pm
Gabriel Fallen
Joined: 29 Jun 2006
Posts: 111
You
I lied to you.
It felt good too.
Everyone puts their thoughts in and you do not understand your own point of view. You went for a bike ride tonight and I felt close to you for the first time in awhile. I felt i could understand some of you again. You don't try to f**k stuff up, it just always seems to happen. I get that. I really do. I'm still considerably angry at you and hope you forgive me for the first post. It was harsh but needed to be said so I could get past it. So I can begin to work on our relationship again. I think you and I and us and me. . .i think we'll be ok.
For all reading this. I don't know why its here. I need to rant and I need to put it somewhere safe. This is the most productive thing I can think of. I'm only here to slowly build myself back up. And I'm not afraid to have deep conversations with myself to achieve it.
Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:46 am
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Gab,
I took a long time thinking before replying to this because I didn't want to intrude on the post. But if I may peek in just for a bit and say it was enlightening because I wondered about capturing the inner critics voice within and making it a conscious effort to observe for myself after reading this. I think it is needed at times if only to face where they came from, what it is saying and where it leads. And as you show, it is an important part of the process of understanding a part of ourselves.
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