I posted this on my facebook, but wanted to post it here too. This really did happn to me, and i feel almost hopeless!:
I can't sleep at all, because i am so shocked and sad! So, i have to write something, or my heart will burst! And, for all you folks out there who are intested in "netteqette" (internet edicate) please read on...
Just recently, while visiting the music sight i love so much, I noticed something had changed. I now had only 4 friends on there, instead of 5! Moments later, i realized it's because one of those "friends" had deleted me! Normally, i wouldn't be so effected by this, because i realize that some people take online stuff very lightly, but trust me---the lady who deleted me---she DOESN'T! While i'm not claiming to know much about her anymore, i will say that she was my best friend, online and otherwise. So, i noticed that about her.
I admit that for various reasons, we haven't been in contact for nearly half a year, which is sad in itself, but never in that course of time have i felt worse than i do now. The reason being that even though we were out of contact in all the other ways, we still had that symbolic connection. Yes, there is something very symbolic about such things as an internet friendship, and when all else is absent, symbolism becomes very important! Hence, symbolically, she was still a friend, and my heart took solice in that, because deep down inside, underneath the missing her, and all the bitternerss, etc. I took it to mean that there was still a part of her which would hold on to our friendship. And, that thought, that symbolism has given me just enough peace-of-mind to keep my sanity these last 6 months or so.
And, this is where manners come in: To anyone who's ever deleted friends without the slightest thought, and for all of you people who create an account somewhere, add friends, and then cancel your account weeks later, let this be a lesson to you, DON'T! Because, there are real people with feelings inside those pages (on those sights), and you might just be breaking someone's heart.
As for my friend, she was one of---if not the coolest---person i've ever met, and not just because i need to get out more! No! It's because she really is that great! Her doing something like this would not be to hurt me per se, for her, it would probably be because she wants me to move on, and i guess she figures that if she is cut-throat enough, i will. The situation which ended the closeness of our friendship is complicated, but i will say that my friend (yes, to me she always will be) stays absent for the good of both of us (in her mind). She doesn't want either of us to stand in the way of the other's life, and because i tend to have a very one-track mind, she doesn't want me to do anyrhing stupid. And, she wants me to braden my horizions. I only wish she would understand that i really wasn't going to do anything stupid ever. In other words, even though i want something that maybe she thought was stupid or wrong, i would never do it, as long as she was against it, and i wish she knew that!
I would say i'll change. But, that wouldn't work. Because i already promissed to respect her, and be a good friend. But, still... nothing! I don't know what else to do to prove to her that i won't ever do anything to disrepect her. Like, i have given her space, i haven't bagered her, and the only time i called was to leave a message on her machine to wish her a happy birthday, like any good friend would do, right? So, i just don't know...
I will end by saying that this friend i'm typing about was truly my best friend. I cared about her (and still care about her) more than i've ever cared about anyone! And our friendship meant more to me than anything in this whole world! Because she was so great, in so many ways! For one thing, she wasn't like other friends! And, she would never try to get me into trouble, she cared about if i done good in school, and she was almost always considerate of my feelings. I trusted her so much, like i trust my mom or something! Heck, she was so special to me, i garantee i'd be the first one in line to help her if she ever needed it. And, hey my legs may not work so well, but if she ever needed a limb (heaven forbid!), i'd give her that to!
Dear God, please let her read this! And, please let her know I miss her more than anything! I just want her to give a darn again-- and be my friend, the way she used to!
But, for now, our friendship is part of my hopes and part of my heart. And, nothing can delete that---not time, not distance, not even the DELETE BUTTON!
Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:13 pm
Alemona
Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Paris (France) / NYC
Dear Storybellz,
I know how you feel, something like this happenned to me too, and yes it hurts.
If you need to talk i'm not as important as you friend was but i'm here.
(i'm also on facebook btw) _________________ Ale
Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:13 pm
storybellz
Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A
quote:Originally posted by Alemona:
Dear Storybellz,
I know how you feel, something like this happenned to me too, and yes it hurts.
If you need to talk i'm not as important as you friend was but i'm here.
(i'm also on facebook btw)
Thanks, Alemona! I'm sending you an email now, so be on the look-out
Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:56 pm
Tracey
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland
hi Storybellz
it's happened to me a few times too!
it hurts like mad
facebook is great at making friendships but hurts like hell when you get rejected by "friends"
hugs
Traceyxx
(also on facebook) _________________ I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me
Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:25 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
((((Storybellz))))
(Youch, I've deleted several people recently, I hope I haven't upset them!! Just protecting my lil 'un from casual people and not needing to know what everyone who's left my course is up to!)
Um, cudn't you send her a message on fb to let her know how you feel? Maybe there's more to it. U cud get someone to read it so it's not too emotional if u wanted. It seems such a shame to lose someone who means so much IF you can honestly just be friends with her.
It does say it can't be undone once actioned tho, I haven't tried reinstating ne1 yet.....
Thu Jan 01, 2009 4:21 pm
nobodysangel
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 429
Location: TN
awww
Sorry it has taken me so long to reply..I can feel your pain on this one. I too, think that some people feel that ''online'' friendships are not real. I've always been told that people can get on the internet and pretend to be anyone they want. For some the online realtionships are real and a big part of a persons life. To be deleted without knowing why does hurt. I had a similiar experience as well. The person that deleted me was someone I loved very much. I could understand why she would delete me, our love affair was over. My daughers on the other hand could not understand. They did nothing wrong. They were only deleted because they are my girls. Her ''explanation'' was that she had to erase all the things that reminded her of me so she could get over me. Ok, that may be true. Does that mean it was ok for her to hurt an innocent young lady who loved her like a mother? I don't think it was. She could still talk to my daughter online, I had no problem with that. I know they shared a special bond. But, nope, she deleted me as well as my daughters.. Her loss I guess right? I agree with you Storybellz, think twice before you hit that delete button. I got so ticked at my ex that I deleted my myspace account instead of just her. Now I am having to rebuild my page all over again, it sucks!! Anyway.. hope things get better for you. Take PurpleUK advice and send her a brief message asking her why she deleted you. Be brief and not overly emotional. Hope things work out for you... _________________ Riding the single train, and loving every minute!!
Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:19 am
storybellz
Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A
Update...
Thanks ladies, for all the thoughtful replies. Sorry it's taken e so long to get back to this, but here's a little update:
OK, don't laugh, but i've been so missing her, that i even called a psychic just a few days ago (which my friend would be totally against, if she knew, as she thinks they are wrong on a moral basis. Then again, she is the type to also understand that we don't have to agree. So, i can only hope that if i weere to ever tell her, she wouldn't be angry at me).
Anyway, at the advice of this psychic, i have totally cut all ties, and that includes deleting her, in-turn, off of every site i had her on. B/c according to the psychic, that will send the message that i'm giving her the space she wants, i'm not spying on her, or obssesing over her (in theory), etc... The goal being that she notices that i'm trying to respect her, and that i am being strong. So, hopefully, she will appreciate that, get curious/start to miss me, and contact me in the near future. Oh well, i confess i haven't given-up on her; i just can't! Yeah, I got it bad, and that ain't good
Well, that's it for now. I hope y'all don't think i'm silly now. Thanks for reading!
Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:32 am
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
Good luck Bellz, hope you get some peace!
Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:49 pm
storybellz
Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A
quote:Originally posted by PurpleUK:
Good luck Bellz, hope you get some peace!
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