Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
Depression
Unless people know me on a personal level, they don't know that I live with some excruciating physical pain. To make a long story short I have a lifting injury that messed my shoulder, cervical and lumbar spine up.
I'm not a person who whines about how much pain I'm in or complains much about anything in general. I'm the person who always has a smile and words to pick everyone else up with. i even cheer up the nurses and doctors while I'm in hospital for surgery. My nurses brag about having the only spine patient who laughs and smiles! My humor is kind of like a shield that I hide behind.
Tonight I am here because it just hit me that I'm depressed. Not just its a rainy day and I can't go out to play sort of depressed. I am in a crashing sort that makes you long for rainy days. Sorry if this isn't completely making sense but depression doesn't always make sense does it?
For the past month I've battled a bug that seems to have sapped my energy. Now I am naming it for what it really is, Depression.
I know that alot of this is coming from my injury and the medication which is common with what I'm going through. It's also about living on a social security disability check that makes me want to cry. It's about not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's about life or lack of having one! It's about finding out who your real friends are. It's about nobody wanting to know you when you're hurt because you're not the same person anymore. It's about all that and more.
If you are depressed, please stand up and raise your hand to be counted. Please don't feel all alone because there are others who are in the same boat. Tomorrow take the step and as a good friend says to me 'make lemonade out of lemons'. Try to turn a sad face into a smiley face. After all a sad face is a smiley face turned upside down.
Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 682
Location: Barony of the Angels in the Kingdom of Caid.
(((((((((((((((((ShinyOne)))))))))))))))))))))))))
*stands up and gets counted*
I so totally understand how depression can overtake a life. I wont go into details, but I too have been very depressed. It feels like youre on a sinking ship with no rescue in sight, and nothing but open water...the deep dark kind. I understand it. Its frightening. *sending Dark so many hugs and kisses to make her feel better, telling her that she always has a friend in me*....you know where to reach me, when you need to reach out, friend.
Green _________________ "I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm getting it done." ~ADM
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others remains immortal"
Sat Sep 27, 2008 5:49 am
Tracey
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland
knowing to well how you are feeling
i suffer with clinically severe depression as many of my friends know
at the moment i'm trying to fight it of
i'm sick of living on invalidity benefits
i'm unable to work cos of physical pain from arthritis and mental problems
it's like i'm just existing struggling from day to day _________________ I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me
Sat Sep 27, 2008 7:57 am
Guest
Dear Darkchylde,
I feel for what you are going through... It's all right not to always smile through your bravery. I can imagine that it would sometimes catch up with you. My hope is that you will soon smile again and have it feel the same way inside. Labeling the depression as you have, is the first step. I pray your physical and emotional pain eases. "J"
Sat Sep 27, 2008 2:52 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
((((((Dark)))))) Soz, I had no idea cos ur right that u have great sense of humour. Sending u lots of hugs and positive thoughts. If u feel u've friends thro all this, keep signing on cos u've got lots here. xxx
Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:43 pm
Khaleesi Moderators
Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 551
Location: FL
((((((((((((((((Dark)))))))))))))))))
I certainly know the feeling. I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. It doesn't always make sense. Don't expect it to. Just remember you can call anytime and talk. You have my number. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I do understand and am willing to listen. Identifying the depression is the first step as Jcreature said. Don't let it go too long before you get help if you don't feel it is resolving on it's own.
Pho and I will be thinking about you and sending good energy. Call me anytime.
Khaleesi _________________ Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me.....
Never start a row in public when it can be settled politely in private. ~My Father~
Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:03 pm
Angel1 Moderators
Joined: 09 Mar 2007
Posts: 1518
Location: U.K
Dear(((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))
I have suffered with depression for many, many years so i know exactly what you mean,i have disabilities and i also suffer with a great deal of pain on a daily basis, so i can identify with where you are coming from here too, sometimes it just becomes too much to bear ,i hear you sweetie, your not alone out there .((((((((((((huge hugs)))))))))))))))
By writing this post you have taken a huge step forward, you have opened up and admitted that you have a problem and that you are indeed depressed, that in itself is an accomplishment, always know sweetheart that , you'll never be alone,i and many more of the women here love the absolute bones of you, your a very special, shiny lady who is adored more than you could possibly imagine.
When you are feeling low and the tears begin to fall, always know that we will all be here for you to wipe away any stray tears that might have escaped.
Keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers and hoping that tomorrow will be a brighter day for you.I pray that your physical pain eases a great deal making your life more bearable sweetheart.
Here for you 24/7, you can P.M me or contact me on MSN
with all my love and respect
((((((((Gentle hugs)))))))))
Angel x x x x _________________ "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955)
Sat Sep 27, 2008 11:15 pm
xporba
Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 7
Location: yorkshire england
hi love
just hang in there you know where i am if you need me
call anytime day or night
love you
paula xxx
Sat Sep 27, 2008 11:34 pm
xporba
Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 7
Location: yorkshire england
hi love
just me again once i start i can not stop lol
ok i dont want to get to slushy because i can see you rolling your eyes
how many times have you held my hand
wiped away my tears, made me laugh at the crap that goes on in my life
we have been part of each others life for so long now, and i am truly blessed to have you in my life. and you know i would give anything to take away your pain. just remember one day at a time love.
smile this witch loves you xxxxx
paula
Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:29 am
Gray25
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 25
Location: Texas finally!!!
I wouldn't normally post this kind of thing but since the subject has come up...
I have dealt with depression twice in the last 10 years and without going into a lot of detail I am going through it again at the moment. It is very embarassing for me and I don't know why. I guess I just don't want to admit that there is something wrong with me. For that reason I hide it very well around anyone who doesn't know me on an intimate level. Unfortunately, those are the ones who I take my emotions out on.
So Dark..(((((((((Dark)))))))). Hang in there and don't be afraid to talk to someone.
For the love of my life......how can I explain how much you mean to me? Thank you for being there, especially for the times I don't deserve you. I love you. _________________ Gray
----------------------
Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:30 am
Raven
Joined: 20 Jan 2005
Posts: 1409
Location: Basking in the Garden
Angel
. . . I glanced at your post earlier and decided I'd just call you but the world's happened since then and now I'm sitting here ironically enough feeling depressed and now that I'm REALLY reading your post it just makes me want to cry. A half real memory from Dreaming of Angels is playing out in my mind.
Blue eyes growing darker, sadder, its mote getting smaller. Wings spread wide. Etchings of pain from the extreme weight carried. Scars of old. Painting. Drops of midnight on my brush. Trust. Beauty trapped beneath beauty.
And that thought makes me want to cry more. I'm sorry Angel. Sorry I wasn't there when I let the "I'm okay" facade you gave me last time we spoke on the phone get by without me pushing deeper.
So now I just want to say I love you more than I can say and that I'll call you tomorrow - smiles a lil - and I promise I'll remember the time difference and not wake you up at some ungodly hour this time.
Until then just know that I think you are one of the strongest people I know and that you just need people to gather around you and remind of you that. I know having had to deal with it because of Suzy just how scary depression can get but I didn't let her fall and I'll never let you either.
Taps your chest gently - remember you still have my Key and that gives you the right to ask anything and everything of me any time of day and I'd do everything and anything for you. You're my Angel.
Kisses your nose,
All my love,
A _________________ Love is my Salvation and Destruction.
Sun Sep 28, 2008 2:43 am
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
I just want to say thank you to everyone who stopped by to hold my hand. I felt the love and caring from everyone here which says alot about the site. We care about each other. We hurt when the others hurt. We put our hands out to help each other.
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
I will raise my hand.... I suffer from depression. Not currently an issue for me, but it is always there. I also have a daughter that has depression. It is very scary for me to see her suffer. I want to rescue her from it, but it is not as easy as it sounds! Hugs to all who have responded to this thread! It is good to know we are never alone. I have felt alone too often. _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:15 pm
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))
you're a very special person, Jan, because you're so giving of yourself to everyone....what's more you're also a very special friend to many women on the site, including me. You're one of my dearest friends, hun.
You know, it was great catching up with you on the phone last night Jan and I'll try to call you again next weekend....gotta see if you like the turkish Delight *chuckling.......I'm sure Cat will call you again too . Remember, I'm on msn or yahoo most nights and I'm here for you anytime you need to chat. I promise to try and make you laugh until you have a stitch in your sides and your cheeks are aching *smiling.
love and hugs to you always,
Mel xox
Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:23 pm
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
((((((((((((Dark)))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you for posting this.
I have dealt with depression a few times...and each time is different. Sometimes only a little, sometimes so bad I can't get out of bed or turn on a light. I understand. I'm sorry you're going thru it, but I am so glad to see all the responses.
Weirdly (is that a word?) enough, I too was feeling depressed today. And I have no reason...I have a beautiful home, a beautiful loving wife, wonderful friends, and a great family - and yet - that feeling creeps in and there's nothing I can do about it. Except come here...and smile because it warms my heart so see positive responses when someone needs them.
This made me feel a little better, and I hope that you are doing better too.
Sending you so many positive thoughts and hugs you'll fall over with feel good vibes.
**Hella Hugs**
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
,i hear you sweetie, your not alone out there .((((((((((((huge hugs)))))))))))))))
. Remember, I'm on msn or yahoo most nights and I'm here for you anytime you need to chat. I promise to try and make you laugh until you have a stitch in your sides and your cheeks are aching *smiling.
