Ok so here is my groan for the day. I hate it when men say that they are a lesbian trapped in a man's body. OK so you are a man who likes girls that means you are straight!!! Then you know you say something and they go off and call you fat or ugly or something to try and "take you down a notch" for lack of a better phrase. AM I alone? _________________ It's hard enough to be taken seriously in the struggle for gay rights without having a bunch of straight girls running around kissing each other to get the attention of the boys and videocameras. ~M. Robin D'Antan, 2002
Last edited by DJ FOX on Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:01 pm
wyldhart
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Posts: 1216
Hey DJ--
I'm with you..and I think HOW DARE THEY! I have 2 distinct issues related to the subject...i say related...not similar,
I was out one night at a mixed gay bar quite a few years ago...and out of nowhere..this man starts hitting on me, and usually I'm pretty gracious with that....after all, he is a man, lol....so i inform him that I am a lesbian...a ladies lady...he proceeds to tell me that I am much too pretty to be a lesbian and that it is just a....are you ready for this? ....SHAME, lol....I immediately told him that it's a shame for him, but not for the ladies~slow smile....then the insults started, so having grace of soul, I excused myself and went over to the biggest bouncer and explained my situation...and Viola'....STRAIGHT MAN WALKING....out of the bar!!
Next story....current event taking place.....My tech guy at work...sweet man..married..rumors abound his wife likes women..well you know, workplace rumours... so, one day he's under the influence of painkillers...back injury, and he needs to add something onto my computer...so we are chit chatting...and out of nowhere he says You know..it's really a shame (that freakin' word again!!!) I said what's a shame?...that you are a lesbian....I told him..you need to stop right there and just shut up! and he just wouldn't stop...so words were heatedly exchange on the topic of my lesbianism, and why he should be so concerned with MY LIFE.. I started to feel myself losing my grace....so I walked away. I ended up speaking with higher management about it--a friend to us both- and I told her that I was hurt more than anything that he would say that, as we were always on good terms, and the only thing I would like from him is a apology...i didn't want Human Resources involved..I didn't want him to lose his job or get written up for sexual discrimination..just a apology..well, needless to say...that has never happened and we keep our distance.....BUT...here's the fun part~smiling~ last Friday night, I attended a suprise party for a co-worker...and who is there, my buddy and his gorgeous wife...
party is fun..drinks abound...conversations are stimulating...his wife is sitting next to me...leans over...and gives me the sweetest kiss ~smiles~ OH YEAH!! This does not go unoticed by him...or anyone else for that matter, lol......he waits a few minutes...and promptly escorts her to be by his side.....which lasts 15 mins....and...Hello..here she is gazing at my greens, lol....and of course being my wicked self....played and teased until there was about 8 of us leaving at the same time....last thing I remember is her screaming my name to come to here.....the next function ought to be quite interesting indeed..... _________________ "wyld in the darkest places of your mind"
Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:21 pm
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
DJ Fox,
Even giving him a response gave him a power over you. Sometimes the best response is no response at all.
DarkChyldesKiss
Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:22 pm
DJ FOX
Joined: 10 Mar 2005
Posts: 18
Location: Denver
Thanks wyld that's great LOL gotta love it! That helped a lot. And dark I do know that... however Sometimes I just get sick of it! Most of the time I let it go but some one has to tell them or it will just keep up. but that's ok I avoid men all I can any ways. _________________ It's hard enough to be taken seriously in the struggle for gay rights without having a bunch of straight girls running around kissing each other to get the attention of the boys and videocameras. ~M. Robin D'Antan, 2002
Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:47 pm
Mairi bheag
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
People are people, and can be very complicated (not to say selfish) when it comes to matters of sex and sexuality. If a man called me "fat" or "ugly" I'd say that was fair comment; if he told me he was going to take me down a notch, I'd box his ears for him. But I still wouldn't hate him for the way he was - that's a trap I don't want to fall into.
Just Mairi bheag playing devil's advocate again...
Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:50 am
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
I agree with Mairi don't hate the person because you'll be giving him your power. You can cut him down a notch or two with a few wisely placed words that will leave him speechless and not willing to pursue another conversation on the subject
DarkChyldesKiss
Mon Apr 04, 2005 5:30 pm
Anima
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 60
Location: Yorkshire, UK
I really hate it when people say; "your a lesbain, but you dont look like one" yeah so what does a lesbian look like arse hole? My mum says that to me, its her way of telling herself that one day i will meet a nice man and itll all be "normal"! ha yeah right! I also hate it when they tell you its a phase you are going through...erm...of course it is! And yeah i hate it when they say; "your a lesbian, what a shame" my male friend said that to me, fool! _________________ Nat
Tue Apr 05, 2005 2:51 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
Anima, want to know how lesbian must be look like? usually it is said about dykes and buthches cause they are the brightest persons of our lesbian society. you should know how they look like)))and when a man is watching a girl, he usually can think something about her. and when he see a butch he begin to think of her as of a rival. and when he see a beautiful girl wearing a skirt he thinks, oh, she's a real beauty! it's usual for their world. ones i was walking with my friend (she's a girl who likes men) and one male being told his friend about me, well it's very difficult to say in english...let me think...well, he said, "there are no bosom and no penis", but in ruder form. belive me it isn't pleasant to hear such words. but it's not the most unpleasnt thing. it's worse when they are going to beat you or you can read in their eyes that they'd like to kill you.
Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:52 pm
djo
Joined: 22 Sep 2004
Posts: 6
Location: Texas
My Fav.
After Tammi left, my parents consoled me by saying how they knew I wasnt a lesbian and now I can find a nice man. My lovely eloquent father told me I just needed a nice dick. lmao I told him I have one in the closet!!!! _________________ Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much
Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:44 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Ok, now i know this won't sit well with some of the ladies, and i myself am just coming into enjoying being femme, but there is the "look" and you all know exactly what i am talking about. It is not the norm to see a lesbian wearing make-up, dressing femme, long hair, etc...... "looking straight".
I don't think it's that "butches" are rebelling from that look, they are just tomboys, are comfortable in guy clothes, even underwear, like short hair / boy cuts, and all in all "acting" tough like a guy. Of course we all know about butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. I was pretty androgynous, but definately more tomboyish. Telltale signs.. no purse, wallet is in the frt pocket, wears mens shirts over a t-shirt... hmmm oh and may possibly wear mens cologne. Mistress has finally gotten me used to a purse, but to Her dismay found my leatherman in my back pocket, and my purse too small. So, now i have to get a bigger purse and put all my crap in it.... i will do it... i am enjoying becoming softer. My friends love it, and can't believe how i have changed. It is what i wanted.... and not what i think others should do if they are more male in energy as i have been. i could just never let my feminine side show, except when i am with my children, then i am very feminine.
There is also the group, hmmmm granola type / earthy who do rebel from societies expectations on what a woman
should
be. They don't shave anywhere, wear make-up, they do wear birkenstocks, drive a compact energy saving vehicle, often vegitarian... you know the type.
I just have to say, we fall in love with the person inside, and looks really are secondary in the long run. That being said, "I LOVE WOMEN". I love their softness, sensuality, gentleness, strength, done up to the nines with hair, make-up, sexy clothes and lingerie. i can't wait to see Mistress in some sexy lingerie, god i would die if She took off Her jeans and had boxer shorts under there.... So, there is the "lesbian" look and no gaydar needed. I think You all know what i am referring to, and hey, if that is what makes her happy, GREAT! If it is what she is doing to "fit" in, then hmmmm. Just like the "Whose the guy" in the relationship. Like Lesbians have to have a top and bottom, or one who is male like and one who is female like. Sheesh.
Boy, i sure can go on and on..... i think i'll stop here. There is nothing more thrilling than to find out a woman who "Looks" straight is gay. MMMMMMMMMMMMM It's like "Oh Yeh! Score one for the lesbian community if she is available, and she usually is NOT !
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:11 am
JellyBean
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 26
Location: UK, Midlands
Hey Brat,
I pretty much get the whole "look", butch/femme(straight!!) thing. Until recently I was married, got a couple of kids. Now no longer married and definately comfy in my own skin if you know what i mean. I knew I was more affected by women for many years, but just didn't have the courage to deal with it and be myself Anyways re the "look". I have always been slightly tomboyish but still with a large degree of femininity. The few friends and family that are aware of my sexual preferences have often made the comment " But, you don't look like a lesbian, and you have kids!!!!!). So here is me, quite femminine and my current partner well lets just say (WoW), she is a stunner, even my bruv was taken aback.
Anyway, have probably just rambled here, soz for that.
Jelly _________________ LOVE - 99% pain, 1% exquisite joy !!!
Fri Apr 08, 2005 8:16 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
OH, Mairi and I were just talking in email and I remembered something I said on my radio show some years ago. I made the statement about people steriotyping themselves. Oh God, one would think the world was ending with the uproar that comment stirred. But I layed the gauntlet down. I said, "Look, we all know there are groups who like to have a look. Now, not everyone in that group has the look, but we all know there are types." To prove it, I used the issue that in the black community there is a segment that likes a certain look to a vehicle. Now do all blacks have a vehicle like this? No, but of that type of vehicle 99 out of a hundred will be owned by a black person. What is the type? It's a vehicle, usually a sedan, but could be any kind really, that has a neon color, orange, or purple, green bowling ball paint job and usually has a bass stereo system that plays so loudly that everyone's insides shake when within 200 yards of this vehicle. I proved my point. Are all lesbians anti make-up, short hair, plain clothes, casual dressing even male clothes dressing types? Of course not, but those who are are very out and not afraid to be obviously lesbian. They march in the parades, get into protests, NOW, and other groups. Is there anything wrong with their look? No, it's just not my cup of tea.
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Fri Apr 08, 2005 10:47 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
Temps_brat, i had said USUALLY. do you see it? do you know people like to pick (i hope you'll understand what i mean by this word) on words. that's why i don't like to speak much, as you see you're example of picking on words...no, i don't think that all lesbians look like boys or something very close to it. i had said and wanted to say that usually and most of people think of them like of i had described. and that's all what i meant. i like when a girl looks like a girl, with make-up and long hair. and is it so bad to make some groups of different things? it's very usefull when you try to understand something. well, it's my opinion...maybe i didn't understand anything in yours...then please, explain it to me))
Sat Apr 09, 2005 1:56 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Actually Ashamed, i was not responding to your post at all. i was resonding to the whole topic of people acting so indignant about straight people saying "You dont look like a lesbian" when in fact there is a steriotypical look. Is it fair to lump all lesbians into that group of course not because if the person saying it thought for a minute, they would realize they are talking to a lesbian who doesnt fit that "look" and there are many more out there like us.
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:13 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Ok Kendall, or should i say Futch.... hehe
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
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OK so you are a man who likes girls that means you are straight!!! Then you know you say something and they go off and call you fat or ugly or something to try and "take you down a notch" for lack of a better phrase. AM I alone?
