I am so frustrated and I need help..............I need to know if someone is as interested in me as I am with her....?????? All I know is that relationships are always complicated whether it is with a guy and girl or girl and girl...........For awhile I have felt this strong attraction to someone to the point where I think I am going to go cRAZY HAHA Anywway, I feel a vibe with her unless I am completely desperate and clueless haha!!!!! Here is the problem....One minute she is very friendly and flirts with me and seems really interested and the next minute she walks right past me and pretends she doesn't even see me, or ignores me...........What is this? is this normal? What does this mean? Is she just not to into me? I really hate being a slave to attraction.....hahaha............I feel like she is playing games with me a little bit.....Could she be playing games with me?
Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:05 am
Blue_bandana
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 49
It's impossible to say what her intentions are from what you describe alone. Quite possible she's playing games. It's also possible that she may be closeted or unsure and that there are certain times she feels comfortable/safe flirting with you and times she doesn't. It could depend on circumstances. Either way, it puts you on the fence and that's not a great place to be.
Have you shown an interest and/or flirted with her? If so, does that change her behavior at all? If she's just looking for attention, then you may find she looses "interest" the more you show interest. Likewise, she may try harder if you don't show an interest. Basically, cat and mouse.
Anyway, my advice is to just be cautious with her. Step back a little and don't let your feelings put you in a position where you may end up getting hurt. You may also want to just step back completely and move on. If she's truly interested, than hopefully she'll make an effort to show you that.
I do wish you the best and I'm sorry you're going through that.
-Blue
Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:44 pm
flowersgirl
Joined: 27 Oct 2007
Posts: 5
Hey lily, this might not help you too much but I just had to say that I'm in a similiar situation, except I'm the one doing the ignoring thing You see I like a (married so I assume straight) woman I work with and I get a vibe from her. You know, laughing at stupid things, telling nervous jokes, going the long way around the office to pass each other in the hall and blushing at the drop of a hat when around each other even though there's really no reason to be embarrassed.
*BUT* there are times when I walk thru the door and past her office without saying anything or maybe just saying "hi". Now am I playing games? No, I'm not, its just that sometimes I don't know what to say to her. And I know if I stop by for just a minute it'll prob turn into ten and I don't need the distraction. It's hard enough knowing she's right downstairs while I'm working all day. Sometimes the last thing I want is the image of her adorable smile when there's nothing I can do to be with her.
You see nobody in the office knows I'm bi and its a conservative office so I can't tell without prob losing my job plus I don't know for a fact where she stands. She maybe be perfectly straight or she may be bi or just curious but either way I dont wanna open that can of worms in the office.
There are times I'm very friendly and talkative and I guess maybe possibly on the verge of flirty but other times I just go on with life like she has no effect on me, even though she does. Now this is just me, I tend to be shy and my situation is awkward cuz this is happening in my work place, but I'm not playing games with her at all, I just really don't know what to say.
Of course like Blue said it's possible that she's playing games and if that's the situation I'm sorry. I know how much that sucks. But maybe thinking about these ?'s will help..Where do you know her from? You know, maybe it's not always possible for her to flirt with you, it might be risking her job or something. Is she gay/bi/straight? Does she know your gay/bi? Can you go out to lunch, just the 2 of you? Maybe if you can spend some time alone you can get a feeling of how things really are between you guys. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you the perspective of someone on the other side of the mirror.
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You see I like a (married so I assume straight) woman I work with and I get a vibe from her. You know, laughing at stupid things, telling nervous jokes, going the long way around the office to pass each other in the hall and blushing at the drop of a hat when around each other even though there's really no reason to be embarrassed.
