In love with my best friend. To act or not to act?
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:O) Guest
In love with my best friend. To act or not to act?
Hey there everyone out there.Well I'm sure you've all heard this type of story a dozen times, so i'm sure a dozen and one wouldn't make much of a difference.
Well lets see where to start. Well I met her in highschool, we are both in university now so we've both grown up alot. We became good friends fairly quickly, and she confided alot with me which I really love.I didn't instantly fall in love with her or anything like the movies, but as time went on my affection just grew.
I'm still in the closet, but I'm pretty sure its pretty obvious to her and everyone else i'm not 100% straight...haha.
When things really began to take stride, I liked her so much, and cared for her so much I felt like I would/could never love anyone else again. To this day I still have never felt the same way for anyone else.
Shes never been in a relationship with anyone yet, although she always exspreses how cute she thinks this or that guy is. She is completely feminine, so naturally I've assumed she is quite straight. Tons of guys have asked her out, but shes always said no.
I've always just assumed it's because she comes from a conservative family. I've actually asked her before why she has never become involved and she just said she doesn't like the idea of commitment.
Anways, here comes the tricky part, well on and off in our friendship she's sent me some mixed signals. For example, whenever we'd sit together, we'd always be really close, ussaully touching shoulders (ie restaurants and such). Her and I bassically had no " out of comfort zone" when it came to eachother. She'd sit on my lap, or lean ( or more like layed) on me when she sat on the arm of my chair. Shes not like that with anyone else I know.
I remember one time, for a week when I got really close with another girl for a bit, she got really upset. Lateron when this was all over, i remember her mentioning how she had cried alot during that time.
I also remember her saying something about not wanting to get hurt, but she nver elaborated on it.
I never really was able to decide what all of that was. Like was she upset simply because she thought our friendship had ended, or was it because she was jealous ? I really only hung out with the other girl for a bit, so at the time I didn't really think it was the end of the world it terms of our friendship.
Anyways, well now her and I are both in university, and we are still very close. We go out for supper and watch movies at my house all the time. My feelings for her are still the same, and she stil has yet to get in to any type of relationship.
As I get older and more mature, I really feel like I've out grown alot of the childish crush type feelings, and that my feelings are quite genuine. Sometimes as I lay next to her on my bed watching a movie, knowing shes inches away I just want to kiss her!
I still have no clue how she feels about me or where she stands in terms of sexaulity. I'm frustrated, because I know we can't ever be anymore then friends if something drastic doesn't happen. I've contemplated jsut telling her straight out several times how I feel, but since I really haven't openly told anyone, I'm still scared.
I live in a small city, with a very small gay/lesbian scene so I feel a little like if nothing ever happens with her and I, I'm doomed for an eternity of loneliness. I'm currently in pre-med, so I won't be graduating for a very very long time. I don't want to wait 10 years for when I graduate and am able to move out of this city to find love.
Haha...ya anyways, thanks for reading this long rant of mine. Comments about what I should do about my friend, or about this whole dilema in general welcome.
Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:07 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
i can appreciate your post..... but before answering, i'd appreciate if you would introduce yourself in the New Members forum....
I'm just trying to be wise and cautious....this site has its fair share of lurkers and folks trying to lure others into strange situations....
I'm not saying your situation is strange... it most assuredly is NOT... _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:03 am
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
haha kinda freaky how similar it sounds to my situation with my best friend....except for, she ended up having a b/f and i waited 2 and a half years and it hurt so much and i felt so hopeless that the love faded away. it was such a weird feeling.....i was madly in love with her. but after all the pain and suffering after she got ehr b/f, the love just spilled away./ now she's only my best friend.
sounds to me she likes u. if my best friend was like that, i would've just kissed her lol.
not going out with any guys...there's a big chance that she's gay...even if she says the guys are cute. and the fact that she got upset when u were close to some othe rgirl...def jealous.
u should tell her soon or make a move..or else ur gonna end up like me. someone else might take her before u....
goodluck!
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