HEY EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS CHRISTINA.. IM A 23 FEMALE FROM NEWYORK... I feel like im lost in a double life.. why cause i have had a bf the past 6yrs on and off, but dont know if i ever been in love with him, how do i know? next, the way i dress is so weird, 1 day i wear boxers, and a du rag and wife beaters and baggy clothes and im like the man in charge. then a few days later you will see me wearing tite clothes with thongs.. I never wear skirts or dresses ever.. I love sports and sporty clothes.. Anyhow i have dated 3 girls... 1 lesbian an 1 bicurious an 1 bisexual faithfully.. i had broken up with my bf, ive had now for the past 6yrs... me and my bf dated 6yrs on and off.. my bf does know i like girls, and has known since day 1. I dont like the label thingy, and i just like to be me at all times... How do i know if i like girls more then guys, because i have been raped by both sexes before, so im so lost.. I have been cheated on and lied and abused by both sexes, so im so lost in regards to what path to take or what i like??? please help me
Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:31 pm
realwoman
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: under our tree in Africa
Dear Christina
Firstly, pleased to meet you, and welcome to Mels!!!
Secondly, please allow me to say the following: The clothes that you wear do not make u a lesbian. Being 'like the man in charge' does not make u a lesbian. Liking sports and sporty clothes does not make you a lesbian, either.
It seems that you are very confused, and from your post i can understand why. I do think, however, that you may need more help than we can offer you. May I suggest that you, if you are in position to do so, seek help with a professional? If you cannot, ask your parents to take you somewhere, or if you do not want to talk to them, please go to a medical centre in your area.
I hope that you will follw this advice, and that you will be able to clear up this confusion
Hugs,
real _________________ .
.
light is to darkness as love is to fear...
Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:30 pm
Rankchrst
Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 13
i hear you.. thanks... If you had read everything, i clariified i was with 3 girls.. 1 lesbian faithfully an 1 bisexual and 1 bicurious girl.. Also, i feel way different around females then with men... i feel no connection with men and i feel like thats who i am, so why date a guy if i feel like i am a man in my own underskin. i have been with ladies sexually and have a deeper love connection with woman then men.. i dont feel any pleasure with men and i never been turned on by 1 ever.. the way i feel about ladies is crazy.. i never think of men.. when i go out of my house i always stare at ladies and comment to my father that these ladies are gorgeous and fine as hell.. i also fantasize about ladies and i never ever do about men... Im an aggressive type woman, studish in a big way... i even play football.
Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:55 am
Hawaiian
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 816
Location: Transplanted to Africa
quote:Originally posted by Rankchrst:
i hear you.. thanks... If you had read everything, i clariified i was with 3 girls.. 1 lesbian faithfully an 1 bisexual and 1 bicurious girl.. Also, i feel way different around females then with men... i feel no connection with men and i feel like thats who i am, so why date a guy if i feel like i am a man in my own underskin. i have been with ladies sexually and have a deeper love connection with woman then men.. i dont feel any pleasure with men and i never been turned on by 1 ever.. the way i feel about ladies is crazy.. i never think of men.. when i go out of my house i always stare at ladies and comment to my father that these ladies are gorgeous and fine as hell.. i also fantasize about ladies and i never ever do about men... Im an aggressive type woman, studish in a big way... i even play football.
Aloha Christina,
I've read what you are saying. In your first post, you seem to be more confused. Why have a boyfriend for 6 years? How do you know if you are in love? But in the second post you answered your own questions. "...i feel way different around females then with men... i feel no connection with men and i feel like thats who i am, so why date a guy..." and "...i dont feel any pleasure with men and i never been turned on by 1 ever..."
In the second post, you say you've been with 3 women. You mention them by sexual label. I must say that I find that curious for someone who says that "I dont like the label thingy..."
I will have to agree with realwoman, both of your posts here set off red flags for me saying that professional help is what you need. Specifically, being raped by both genders. Also, I suggest you bring up to a therapist that you "feel like i am a man in my own underskin." This may point to a transgendered issue and not lesbian/bisexual confusion.
Hope this helps,
~Hawn _________________ 'A'a i ka hula, e waiho i ka hilahila i ka hale.
Dare to dance, leave your shyness at home.
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