I've been struggling for quite some time now about coming out to my mother. I REALLY want to because I share everything with her and the fact that I'm not sharing this with her is really bothering me. I guess part of my hesitation is I'm not entirely sure how she will react. I did come out to my sister-in-law and she doesn't seem to think that my mom will be upset, she stated to me that my mom is more concerned with me being happy and successful. I am definately happy.
Could some of you possible share with me how you came out to your parents? I've been considering writing her an email, because I'm not sure I can get the words out of my mouth.
quote:Originally posted by Jess819:
I've been struggling for quite some time now about coming out to my mother. I REALLY want to because I share everything with her and the fact that I'm not sharing this with her is really bothering me. I guess part of my hesitation is I'm not entirely sure how she will react. I did come out to my sister-in-law and she doesn't seem to think that my mom will be upset, she stated to me that my mom is more concerned with me being happy and successful. I am definately happy.
Could some of you possible share with me how you came out to your parents? I've been considering writing her an email, because I'm not sure I can get the words out of my mouth.
Jess,
First off...do you know how you mom feels about lesbians or homosexuals in general? If not ask and if you get a positive response then if you want to continue the discussion you could slowly lead the discussion in the direction of telling her that you are lesbian. If you don't want to tell her at that time or if you do not get a positive response then when you do feel ready to tell her you will have an idea of how she feels and can prepare yourself. Seeing as how you seem to have a wonderful relationship with your mother...she will love you regardless of how she feels about homosexuals and will always be there for you no matter what.
Hugs,
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:55 am
Guest
Agree this was a difficult thing to do...but I am SOOOO glad I did it, not in person as I live in another country but I told her over the phone. I had just gone through a bad break up with my partner of 9 years, being so hurt and upset the only person I wanted to talk to was my Mom. When I called her I was upset, I said something to the effect of "Mom you may already know this but I need to say this to you xxx and I are more than just friends..." and I went on about my relationship, how I was hurting, what had happened. I was shocked at her response. She more or less already knew, but she was there for me, comforting me at a very difficult time, not judgemental. Amazingly she treated it like a relationship of two people in love, which I think is difficult for people to see sometimes in lesbian/gay relationships. So many people see it as sex and don't see that it is about love. I feel love in the greatest sense, because it's not the easiest life to lead as many of us know. But I'm glad I told her, and I'm glad the words came out of my mouth. That's my story anyway. It sounds like you're Mom loves you and will accept you regardless. Let us know how it goes.
Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:36 pm
Jess819
Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
Location: USA
I'm so disappointed in myself. I had the PERFECT opportunity to say something to my mother on Friday evening. The words just wouldn't come out. They were there, just wouldn't come out..I was just going to say "Mom, B and I are dating." I think she knows, she's just not saying anything. UGH! Friends of mine seem to think that I'm making this harder on myself than I have to. I always stress when it comes to issues with my Mom, and usually I stress too much over nothing.
Sorry, this has turned into a venting post. LOL!
Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:50 pm
Guest
hey what up i benn hideing some for my mom but god some time i just want to not tell her but one day we was talk about something eles and it slip out of my mouth and i was so scared so much my mom how think that it is the truth , so i don;t know i can tell sit down and tell her abian so that she fwill bevile me.......
Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:51 am
Alice In Quantum Land
Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 77
I had the same feeling that you have Jess : I thought my dad knew but that he wasn't saying anything... When I finally did came out... My dad told me, and I will always remember this : "I knew it for years, I was wondering if you'd have the guts to come out, I'm proud of you kid!" That made me cry
Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:58 am
sayjay (BANNED)
Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 19
Location: belfast
i just told my mum straight out said it.
"i have to tell you something..."
"yeah?"
"i think im bi"
and she said. "and?!" and it was all over lol.
its really never as bad as you think
unless your parents are religious or phycos.
GOODLUCK!
Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:01 am
charliegirl
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: Queensland Australia
When I told my mum I was 16 I think, she sent me to get help!!! My mum said she doesnt want to hear about it or meet any of my girlfriends ( I have to find one first, been awhile, lol!) She said to think of it makes her sick to her core and she blames herself for doing something wrong in the way she raised me. Im close to 30 now and she was me to get more help in finding out why Im the way I am. My sister cried when I told her and said she felt sick. My dad was fine, he didnt say a thing, same with my brother.
Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:23 pm
Ayelet
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Den Haag, NL
quote:Originally posted by charliegirl:
When I told my mum I was 16 I think, she sent me to get help!!! My mum said she doesnt want to hear about it or meet any of my girlfriends ( I have to find one first, been awhile, lol!) She said to think of it makes her sick to her core and she blames herself for doing something wrong in the way she raised me. Im close to 30 now and she was me to get more help in finding out why Im the way I am. My sister cried when I told her and said she felt sick. My dad was fine, he didnt say a thing, same with my brother.
Same story with my family! I tried coming out years ago, didnt work, mum got upset said I needed help...ect.
My dad was fine though!
But they still think I am straight, I dont think if I can be honest.
Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:30 am
j8a20k
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 20
Location: somewhere out there
I already came out to my mom. Although I know she really didnt like me being gay/bi, she still accepted it. She told me to do what I want coz she want me to be happy. _________________ "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks... The work for which all other work is but preparation."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
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