Well, wouldn't you know it. Here I am, trying to get my mind OFF my vet (of whom I am STILL falling madly IN CRUSH with), and a co-worker drops a bombshell on me - she is interested in having a relationship with me. I must say it is tempting, but a straight woman . . . . YIKES!!!!!
SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE!!!!
Wed Feb 16, 2005 1:17 pm
lynnslady3
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 2
Location: Chicago IL
Straight women?
Hello Somewhere....
It has been my experience and is now my belief that all of us are bisexual - (if only we could all admit to it!!)
I would suggest that you sit down with this woman and talk with her. Try to discover if she is serious about a relationship with you or just (cringe) "curious".
It may very well be the best relationship that you ever have or it may just be a learning experience for you both. Life is too short to let opportunity pass you by.......
Good luck to you!
Wed Feb 16, 2005 8:41 pm
chame70
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 290
Location: South Florida
Straight woman
Or you could satisfy her curiosity and end up heart broken yourself.
luvst
chame _________________ i love the scent of a womyn, the touch of a womyn, the taste of a womyn
Wed Feb 16, 2005 10:12 pm
Tigger Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 890
Somewhere
My experience is don't mix business and pleasure....if things don't work out..you could cause yourself a situation at work that is uncomfortable and unplesant.
Think twice before you jump.
Tigs
Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:53 am
chame70
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 290
Location: South Florida
I agree with Tigs!!!
Really, I should have thought of that also. many years ago I had a similar situation and thank God I was the top salesperson. My boss fired her.
chame _________________ i love the scent of a womyn, the touch of a womyn, the taste of a womyn
Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:26 am
Somewhere In Florida
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 13
Yes, I hear what you guys are saying. However, I think she just wants to try it because she never has - curiousity. Also, my heart is just somewhere else . . pinning away for someone that doesn't know I exist. Sigh
Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:45 pm
chame70
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 290
Location: South Florida
Somewhere
Hi,
I'm in South Florida. I wrote earlier, twice in fact. The second time I was reinforcing what Tigs said about relationships in the workplace.
In all honesty, I think you are setting yourself up for a fall. A bad one.
Think about this for a minute. You are considering having a fling with a co-worker who is probably like you said, just curious while you (as I) are pining for someone who doesn't even know we exist. Aren't you in enough pain as it is? Do you think this fling with a co-worker who is "curious" is going to make the hurt any less or maybe add to it.
I don't know, I don't know you or all the circumstances but I do know if I'm in pain, I try not to set myself up for more.
Only my humble opinion.
I don't wish anyone the pain I feel.
luvst
chame _________________ i love the scent of a womyn, the touch of a womyn, the taste of a womyn
Mon Feb 21, 2005 5:48 pm
Somewhere In Florida
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 13
Chame,
Absolutely, I agree with you. And I am not thinking of a fling with the co-worker, there's just too much at stake. Also, you are right, I am in enough pain as is. It is nice to be wanted, but seriously a fling with a straight or bi girl is not my thing. I can't just "fling" - my emotions get too involved. So, I'm keeping this person at arms length, and have basically told her so.
Now as for my heartache . . . sigh . . . what to do about her.
Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:10 pm
chame70
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 290
Location: South Florida
Heartache
Hi Somewhere,
"Heartache" that's a sensitive subject. I guess its something I live with. I don't know that one gets used to it, one just goes on. Tha ache is still there.
We both touched on Depression also, I guess they go together.
Just when you think life is going to be fine, something happens that makes the "D" word rear its ugly head. It seems like one can't really get rid of it for good. One finds a reason to keep going and does.
I'm here for you, for any and all of you. I don't know that there is anything I can do to help but I will listen and read and write back.
chame _________________ i love the scent of a womyn, the touch of a womyn, the taste of a womyn
Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:16 pm
topaz117
Joined: 12 Sep 2004
Posts: 44
Location: Southeast USA
Somewhere In Florida,
Ummm...didn't I read in an earlier post (Jan 25) that you are in a 5 year relationship? The fact that your vet, and now this "curious" co-worker has your interest tells me that all isn't well in your relationship, but, unless you have broken up with your current partner, these two things shouldn't be even an issue until you deal with your current relationship status. How would you feel if your partner was able to log on and read your posts? Or how would you feel if
she
were the one posting, and you could read it?
I don't mean to sound harsh, but as females, and more emotionally attached in our relationships than men usually are, I hate to think that we are just as bad as they can be when it comes to thinking of having affairs.
Now, before you think I am just coming down on you, believe me, I can understand what you are going through. I always get somewhat restless this time of year, and like to make some kind of change in my life. I am very very careful not to choose too hastily to change something that I might come to regret later. This time of year is worse for people who have chronic depression episodes, and if we are one of those people, it is best to understand what makes us react to things the way we do, rather than to try and self-medicate with something (or someone) new and exciting.
It's obvious that something is missing in your life...I hope you can find out what it is before you make a mistake you will regret. Where is your partner? Why can't you talk to her?
Good luck sweetie...
Topaz
Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:44 am
Somewhere In Florida
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 13
Topaz,
Yes, you are correct that in an earlier post I stated that I am in a 5 year relationship - and I'm still there. And yes, all isn't well . . . it's not that it is awful with screaming and fighting, it isn't like that at all. But, it is stale, no longer attractive and sometimes I find living with her almost unbearable. Why can't I talk to her, good question, but seems I've never been able to without THAT starting an argument. So, over the years I've just decided to keep my mouth shut.
Yes, I am restless and unhappy. And my vet . . . wow . . . what can I say to that. Also, yes I have considered that my partner may read these posts; however, I have been so desperate for answers lately that I crave the answers more than the consequences. As for the co-worker as I said, that isn't really an issue; other than it's nice to be wanted. As for my vet, I don't know what it is, but there is something irresitable and heart-renching there . . . for me anyway. . . . . I wish I did not feel at all . . . . . this entire scenario has overtaken me and I am at a loss . . . .
Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:27 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Topaz,
Hi hun! Good to see you posting (was thinking of you and hope you are doing well ). I agree with your insights Topaz.
Somewhere in Florida,
I guess I am going to be less sympathetic here. You're part responsible for your relationship souring and you are not owning up to that, making an excuse for your lack of communication to your partner. If you won't deal with that 5 yr relationship first (work it out or break up), why drag someone else into your irresponsibility when it comes to a relationship? It won't be fair to them or yourself. We can make decisions that is respectful of ourselves and another and in the long run we are better people for it.
Dance~
Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:56 pm
Somewhere In Florida
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 13
you are right
i agree with you dance, i am partly responsible . . . and at this depressed state, can't quite think correctly . . . im at a loss . . . thanks for your honesty
Tue Feb 22, 2005 5:45 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Somewhere In Florida,
Hugs, I only wish you good. We feel good about ourselves, our self esteem grows, our confidence builds etc... when empowered by choice. Respecting others is respecting ourselves as well.
In a depressive state it is hard at times to think clearly. Been there done that. There are many issues with depression, some Topaz stated above. But also self perception can be distorted...mainly with negative concentration (real or percieved). I hope you find the support you need. It is very important to have that. I don't know if you read the depression post but it explains it a little more. Feel free to pm me anytime if you need to talk.
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