Joined: 21 Oct 2007
Posts: 17
Location: scotland or day dream world
should I tell my therapist ?
I have been seeing a psychotherapist since january this year,Im all mixed up about who am I etc,but Im bursting to come out to her,only thing is I have really strong feelings for her,I dont know what to do ?yesterday she was guessing whats on my mind asking is it sexual?I say yes ,is it about her ,I say no ,OMG ,please help me ? _________________ if homosexuality is a disease,lets all call in queer to work "hello,cant work today,still queer"
Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:49 pm
lily1111
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 20
Therapist
What therapist ask a question like that? That seems really strange to me.......................YOu have to be careful with therapist because you tell them so much that you can mistake that trust for love esp. if you are vulnerable..........When a therapist says something like that I think that is so inappropriate....Just my opinion
Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:06 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
if YOU feel comfortable with the fact that you have chosen a therapist with whom you can work AND actually make progress with provided the two of you work together to accomplish your goal of unravelling yourself....
then its absolutely necessary she be aware of your sexuality....
if she's asking to hit on you... well, that's up to you two... but i can't really say it would make a lot of sense from the clinical perspective...
you simply aren't going to make any progress if you're spending the majority of your time with her glued to some panic button because of your feelings for her OR because you're uncomfortable in your own skin around her....
so, in short, my answer is YES she needs to know
if you're uncomfortable with her knowing, then my suggestion is that you find another therapist.... if ALL the beans aren't on the table, how are you gonna count them? _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:54 am
mazer34
Joined: 21 Oct 2007
Posts: 17
Location: scotland or day dream world
she had to ask questions to guess whats on my mind every week when I see her as I had told her last week some thing is on my mind the whole time and I cant deal with it anymore so she asked questions like, is it sexual,is it a fantasy,is it something I want to do to people etc,I dont think she is trying to come onto me,not that I would mind ! I just need to tell someone how I feel towards other women,I have kept it in me for over 20 years so its really getting to my emotional being,Im married(only been married for 2 years) with 3 kids so its even harder to tell people how I feel.I have started to trust this person so I think I will tell her on thursday how I feel etc,I just hope she doesnt freak out or anything !I need to know who or what I am as I have has enough of feeling trapped in my mind. _________________ if homosexuality is a disease,lets all call in queer to work "hello,cant work today,still queer"
Sat Oct 27, 2007 8:54 pm
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
any proficient therapist worth their salt doesn't find the news of lesbian sexuality shocking or odd or out of norm.......
breathe deep, clasp your hands together calmly... and just tell her....
then be prepared to get to work! i'm betting you will discover that your time with her is much more well spent when ALL of your thoughts and emotions are out on the table.... why? because then you two can get down to the nitty gritty of helping you find a balance... _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:05 am
Guest
that's kind of intrusive, and very unprofessional, but hey, it sounds fun.
Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:43 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
intrusive?
isn't that why a person GOES to a therapist? to get some help unravelling the confusion (or whatever you want to call it)? how in the world is a therapist supposed to help? GUESS what's going on?
i don't understand the intrusive on this.... _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Sun Oct 28, 2007 7:08 am
mazer34
Joined: 21 Oct 2007
Posts: 17
Location: scotland or day dream world
thanks cavewomen,you give good advice ! she said nothing will shock her what I have to say,I think she knows what Im thinking by the way she asks certain questions.It feels horrible when you sit opposite someone and they are wanting to know whats on your mind and you just grit your teeth hoping you dont blurb it all out wrong and look right stupid! She gives me direct eye contact and I cant look at her without thinking she will see how I feel towards her.When she asked if it was about her I panicked and said NO ! If I said yes she probley wouldnt want to see me again or something,I dont know.I have thought about her for 10 whole monthes now 24/7 infact,I cant get her out of my head,when I see her I feel really happy and excited ,say if she rubs her leg infront of me,god that sounds awful ! I always thought by getting married would change my feelings for other women but it hasnt,only good thing is having my children.I feel so trapped in this body of mine and dont know what do,I dont want to hurt anyone. _________________ if homosexuality is a disease,lets all call in queer to work "hello,cant work today,still queer"
Last edited by mazer34 on Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:41 am; edited 1 time in total
Sun Oct 28, 2007 1:59 pm
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
mazer..... the ONLY way you're going to "break through" is
1. just answer the lady's questions, keeping in mind that you requested her help by becoming her client.... and that IS her job... to help you unravel the myriad of thoughts/emotions inside you
and
2. if you're too embarassed to work with this lady, but you still want to untangle the jungle in your head, then perhaps you should find another therapist
or
3. go ahead and answer this lady's questions, see if it gives her a more reliable platform from which to help you.... and if it really doesn't but only leads to more twisted roads, THEN, opt out of her service and find another therapist
as to your attraction to her... well, i think every lady here can admit to having a nearly unbearable crush on someone during the course of our lives.... _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:36 pm
Guest
of course psychs have to be 'interrogative', rather than intrusive where they should, and where it can help, and on second thoughts, i'd say your psych probably noticed you might have been a little nervous, and guessed you were attracted to her, and needed to talk about it. it will make you very comfortable to talk to her about other things, too.
Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:28 am
mazer34
Joined: 21 Oct 2007
Posts: 17
Location: scotland or day dream world
Ive had a crush before but the way I feel about this person is totally different. _________________ if homosexuality is a disease,lets all call in queer to work "hello,cant work today,still queer"
quote:Originally posted by mazer34:
Ive had a crush before but the way I feel about this person is totally different.
Listen to cavewoman she has given some good advice and you need to use that piece of anatomy between your nose and chin...open your mouth and tell the person trying to help you what she needs to know in order to help you.
Hugs,
Eiregirl _________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Tue Oct 30, 2007 2:00 am
Guest
i hope your therapist helps you out, hun.
good luck with everything.
yes, i would tell her.
it gets worse as you go on.
i've been there lol.
Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:00 am
mazer34
Joined: 21 Oct 2007
Posts: 17
Location: scotland or day dream world
ok,thanks guys _________________ if homosexuality is a disease,lets all call in queer to work "hello,cant work today,still queer"
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I just need to tell someone how I feel towards other women,I have kept it in me for over 20 years so its really getting to my emotional being,Im married(only been married for 2 years) with 3 kids so its even harder to tell people how I feel.I have started to trust this person so I think I will tell her on thursday how I feel etc,I just hope she doesnt freak out or anything !I need to know who or what I am as I have has enough of feeling trapped in my mind. 
she said nothing will shock her what I have to say,I think she knows what Im thinking by the way she asks certain questions.It feels horrible when you sit opposite someone and they are wanting to know whats on your mind and you just grit your teeth hoping you dont blurb it all out wrong and look right stupid! She gives me direct eye contact and I cant look at her without thinking she will see how I feel towards her.When she asked if it was about her I panicked and said NO ! If I said yes she probley wouldnt want to see me again or something,I dont know.I have thought about her for 10 whole monthes now 24/7 infact,I cant get her out of my head,when I see her I feel really happy and excited ,say if she rubs her leg infront of me,god that sounds awful ! 
