My friend and I had a horrible fight and she refuses to speak to me. Actually she told me to get out of her life and get one of my own. I was upset at first but after hours and hours of therapy, I realize maybe it's the best for both of us. Im no longer in despair and I no longer put all the blame on myself. The problem is that I also became friends with her son. His 15th birthday is coming up and I want to send him a gift. I got it long before the fight and I really want him to have it. What should I do? Should I mail it or not? She told me to get out of her life and I assume that mean's her son's life as well... But its not fair! I really like him; he's a good kid and I want him to have his gift. We had our own friendship, so why should I ignore him because she and I aren't close anymore? Any advice please?
Athena _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
hmmm...advice for a goddess...dunno if this humble mortal should even attempt.
but i think you should give the gift on the off chance that it is accepted. maybe it will allow you both to reconsider your friendship too (as a side effect, well unless you don't want to befriend this woman again). but i'd give it...especially if you like the kid, now if you were doing it just to get back with the lady...that might be a different story.
so yeah...*chuckles* that's my 2 cents.
~chance
ps...no smiting of the mortal please...*offers fruit and other random items as a gift* hehe _________________ Timing is everything...unfortunately I'm too early or too late.
Sun Jan 09, 2005 4:05 am
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
Thanks for the advice last and the fruit! Plus here a gentle pat behind the ears *pat pat pat*. . I have been thinking that I should give the gift. I do not know if I want to befriend her, since there are traits about her that will never change. Traits I put up with and should not have. I do think she has her good qualities though, and for that I respect her and do not want to discard her. I do not belive in throwing people away. It's hard to know what to do sometimes. Another friend told me the worse that can happen is that she returns the gift. I do want him to feel like I remembered him and that he was not my friend because his mom and I were friends. I want him to know that I like him because I enjoyed his company and think he is a kind person. <sigh> I'll send the gift. I just hope it doesn't cause friction if he wants to keep it and she wants him to return it. <sigh with tears> Is life always so had, or just when you're a goddess? _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
Sun Jan 09, 2005 5:50 am
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Athena,
Hugs hun, I know you will need many extra's now. My shoulder is here anytime. I don't understand why some can be so harsh at the end, well that's not true...I can reason with it for answers. But it is such a waste, truly...of everything that was good to ferment in memory. The cross of bearing someones bitterness and hatred just because two people were not compatiable, or the relationship was unhealthy etc...is insane. But if that is the case (coming from my own experience here) the relationship is best done with. Your time, your love, your experiences, your paths in learning, your stages in life, your expressions, your forgiveness and understanding, are all important. Not one person is all that even if they foolishly think they are. Save the best for now my friend... just being touched by life itself in the many ways it will renew and fill your spirit if you let it.
Hugs~
Dance~
Sun Jan 09, 2005 4:33 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
Athena, it's very difficult to lose friend, but your relationship with her kid mustn't be broken. you always can find some ways to communicate with him, if he'd like to. and it's better to discuss your problem with your friend, ti speak about it at least, to say her your opinion
Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:04 am
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
Dance and Ashamed
Thank you so much Ladies. Truly! Things have gotten a lot better and I no longer dwell on the failure of the friendship. Actually I do, but I'm not in a grave state of despair. I did however decide to send her son the gift. I sent it 2 weeks ago, so I know he has received it but still there is no response, from either of them. What can you do...right? Funny thing is, I really don't hate her although I've been told that my bad behavior was justified by her broken promises. Even if that is so, I regret the way I behaved and I am now starting to see what my therapist and close freinds have been telling me; I am better of without her. It was flawed from the start.... but I am making it through.
I really appreciate you both for being here for me. And even if they are not very close ones and may one day fade, I cherish all my freindshops deeply. THANK YOU!!!
A. _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:44 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
Athena, oh, not at all)))happy for you. it's very important to understand that our past is only our past with everything whatwas there, including people.
Wed Feb 09, 2005 5:41 pm
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
quote:Originally posted by ashamed:
Athena, oh, not at all)))happy for you. it's very important to understand that our past is only our past with everything whatwas there, including people.
Yes, I know. It just takes time I guess. 2 months ago I could hardly get out of bed and all the stress has given me heart problems, but today I am so much better. Since the fight, I have gotten to know myself and trust myself a lot better. I try try not to think about the relationship, but its so hard especially since it was so good for so long. But yes, the past is the past and I have a wonderful future to look forward to. Thanks Ashamed
A _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
Wed Feb 09, 2005 6:31 pm
herwriter
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 19
Location: kentucky
Even goddesses need advice at times...but only from other goddesses or divas! I say mail the gift. If your friend wants to be an ass she can mail it back. I doubt her son will let her do that however! _________________ A poet is always seeking the beauty of the world.
Sat Feb 12, 2005 2:52 pm
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
quote:Originally posted by herwriter:
Even goddesses need advice at times...but only from other goddesses or divas! I say mail the gift. If your friend wants to be an ass she can mail it back. I doubt her son will let her do that however!
Hello fellow godess! Yep, I mailed the gift. It's been over 2 weeks now and it hasn't been sent back but they haven't acknowledged it either. No thank you or what the hell are you tryting to do. NOTHING at all. I tell myslef not to get pissed off you knoww. Close friends say I have a right to be angry with them, well with her really, even if the fight was my fault. She says she does not hate me entirely, but she sure has a funny way of showing it. Part of me wants to write her a horrible letter, telling her what a mean person she is. The other part just wants to drop her and get on with my fabulous life. Why can't a girl get everything she wants! _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:23 pm
herwriter
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 19
Location: kentucky
Good Job
" Part of me wants to write her a horrible letter, telling her what a mean person she is. The other part just wants to drop her and get on with my fabulous life. Why can't a girl get everything she wants!"
First, a girl can get everything she wants. She just has to want what she has! That is free advice. Secondly, yes please get on with your fabulous life and enjoy the time you are having learning about you. Alone time is a gift. _________________ A poet is always seeking the beauty of the world.
Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:29 pm
Athena
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 314
Location: Berlin
Re: Good Job
quote:Originally posted by herwriter:
" Part of me wants to write her a horrible letter, telling her what a mean person she is. The other part just wants to drop her and get on with my fabulous life. Why can't a girl get everything she wants!"
First, a girl can get everything she wants. She just has to want what she has! That is free advice. Secondly, yes please get on with your fabulous life and enjoy the time you are having learning about you. Alone time is a gift.
Hi Herwriter. So I have just come home from a night of hanging with the girls. It was good freind's birthday so we went to SoHo ate at a great Thai restaurant, went to a bar for a few pints and then went to an exclusive club and had a really great time. We were all dressed so sexy, it was lots of fun. See, I am trying to be fabulous! And I do love and cherish all that I have in my life. I love my time alone, I always have, so I know the value of it. But why why why do I still want her to acknowledge me? I know it will just make me feel bad and her only purpose in my life now is to make me miserable...why would anybody want that? I'm working at it. I really am. Thanks so much for the advice.
A _________________ "We strive for beauty and balance, the sensual over the sentimental."
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Plus here a gentle pat behind the ears *pat pat pat*. 
But yes, the past is the past and I have a wonderful future to look forward to. Thanks Ashamed
A
I say mail the gift. If your friend wants to be an ass she can mail it back. I doubt her son will let her do that however!
