Hello Everyone!
I find myself in a dilemma and I am wondering how others feel about this. I am 47 yrs old. Look in my 30's and am small built (somewhat).
Although I truly desire to meet someone in my age group who has aged gracefully and developed character qualities consistant with a long term relationship,and is not dated in her appearance, I find myself drawn time and time again to younger women. My last relationship was almost 3 yrs ago now and it was with someone 16 yrs younger than myself. The time before that it was similiar.
I have not fallen in love often in my life(twice) but I found myself falling in love and loving someone quite deeply who is now 25 yrs old. Unfortunately (for me) she is partnered and I deeply respect that and try very hard not to cross boundaries. (2yrs now)
But I yearn for her in way that is visceral. I am not just referring to sexual yearning. I am referring to yearning for her precense , her energy, her love and her friendship.
I am quite discouraged because rarely do I meet anyone (my age group or younger) that resonates with me on such a deep level. Yet here I am going to bed every night on my own, (and my doggie)
There seems to be certain character qualities in a person that I am particulary drawn too and she seems to encompass them. Although practically speaking the age difference lends itself to having different experiences and interests, my soul connects with her in a way that doesnt happen often.
Over the years of our friendship I have encouraged her and given her advise in regards to her GF all the while desiring her more than I have ever anyone. She does know of my feelings and acknowledges feelings of her own all the while saying if she was not with her current GF she would probably be single.
Now here is my dilemma:
For whatever its worth I would really like to meet someone for a relationship but someone younger than myself and I have had a difficult time in the area in which I reside in doing that. Or meeting anyone , any age group for that matter that I would be remotely interested in.
I would like to hear from younger woman here about their opinions, concerns and openness to being with an older woman. _________________ I'd love to see you in the moonlight with your head thrown back and your body on fire." When night is Falling
Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:57 pm
jaejae
Joined: 16 Dec 2006
Posts: 44
Location: n.s.w
Hey energy,
Hum where do i start?!?
ok so i dont know if you know but dark-prism and i are together, have been for three weeks now seems alot longer, we know so much about eachother and it has been amazing getting to know this woman-that i have fallen in love with, and the beauty of it is i will not be saitisfied untill i know all i can about her.
She is 39 and i am 20, and it does have its pro's and con's.
But the pro's out weigh the con's by far. all that matters is that i love her an she loves me-we are very similar altho very diferent people.
We see eye to eye and share the same morals and feelings on almost every topic. we often finish eachothers sentences and are saying the same thing at the same time. We are connected in a strong way and she makes me happy beyond belief, i feel safe knwoing she's there and i am constantly thinking about her. i even dream about her when im not here talking to her. my heart skips a beat and my tummy does micky flips everytime i see her name pop up on my screen i adore her to no end. and there is nothing i wouldnt do for her. if thats not love i dont no what is and i for one know i am not about to throw that away because of some silly age.
d once said explained to me about "split aparts" basically the idea is that in heaven souls are split apart. and then sent down to earth seperately and there job is to find one another, to re-connect. love to me is not about the age of the shell surrounding ones soul its purely about the soul. and D is my split apart!
Im sorry if this makes n snse but you wanted an opinion so here is mine.
hopefully it can help you in some way-and goodluck with your friend-it must be hard to give her advice and see her in the arms of someone else when you love her-im sorry! but be patient-if she's your split apart you will find away to eachothers hearts and once and for all be complete!
take care,
jacina.
Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:34 pm
Anamika
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 19
Location: India
Energy Hi,
I don't know where to start....what you wrote and what Jaci has written in reply really touched me. I am 28 and I have never had the experience of being with an older or a younger woman.My first relationship lasted 3 years and ended when I found my soul mate...we lasted for 7 amazing years....but there were some issues that had us split apart....but I still say she;s my soulmate...I endorse what jaci says....God makes one heart - puts it in two bodies and sends them to earth to find each other...if you find that person in this lifetime you're very lucky....
Seems like you've found your soulmate...but circumstances prevent you from being with her...same like me.....and I know it hurts a lot. And it is amazing of you to have been with her through her relationships etc as a friend, a mentor, a guide, a support....I personally dont feel age and love have anything to do with each other....if you love, you love....you dont see age...
If and when I fall in love again, it could be anyone...younger, older, same age...the mental age should match that is all that matters....
take care and good luck to you
p.s: Jaci what you wrote tells how sincere you are. great kiddo _________________ I walk this empty street...on a boulevard of broken dreams..when the city sleeps...and im the only one and I walk alone....
Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:50 pm
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
Hiya Energygrrl,
I know you just wanted the younger ladies to post here, but my lady posted and I feel I must respond. I agree with everything she said and also feel everything she is feeling.
The age issue between Jaci and I had been an undiscussed dark cloud hanging over us up until about a week ago when we were in chat one night and it all came flooding out. We were both so upset, not mad, just really honest and talking about all the possibilities and ramifications of this. I was surprised I didn't short out my keyboard from the tears that kept hitting it, and at one point, Jaci was laying on the floor crying. It was very intense, but necessary, and probably one of the times I have felt closest to her. When all was said and done though, I think we both have realized that what we have together is so intense, strong, and meant to be, that it is way beyond an issue of age, in fact the age thing is rapidly becoming a non-issue with me. I have told her that if this ends, it will not be because of me. I couldn't walk away from this if I tried. But she has more to lose and I would have to understand if she made a decision to end it *gulp*. But she assures me she feels the same way I do, and I believe her.
Oh, and by the way, we have never met and are an ocean apart, but we still are unbelievably committed to this. This is the strongest thing I have ever felt.
I can't really relate to your issue of being attracted to only younger women all the time, because I really haven't been in the past. No matter how gorgeous a woman is, if they don't have a level head on their shoulders, with quick wit, maturity and intelligence, then I just don't find them attractive enough to think about anything more than enjoying the view. Jaci is so much more mature than her years. She is nothing like any of the other younger women I know, and most of the time I forget how old she really is.
On the other hand, I have been in the position of loving someone so intensely that you know you can never have. At least yours is gay, there may be a chance. With me it was married straight women and I knew it was a total impossibility, but I did the same thing you are. I loved them enough to try to be there for them and help them have a happier life if I could. We just love them that much, even though it rips our hearts out.
So as far as the age issue goes, as long as there is a strong connection and you are both open and honest about it, and committed to it, it doesn't have to be an issue at all. Love is love, and who knows why it blooms where it does, just enjoy its beauty while you can.
Dp
Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:46 am
charliegirl
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: Queensland Australia
The girl I am sort of seeing is 20 and Im 29. I dont feel she is at all ready to be involved in a relationship. 1 because she wants boys as well as girls at the same time. ie to see me and live with her boyfriend! 2. check reason 1. If she wants this much attention there is no way she is mature enough for a real relationship. At 20 I was ready for one, maybe time are chaging around my part of the world cause no one wants to date they all just want to sleep together.
Fri Feb 16, 2007 5:14 am
A Minor
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 16
What to Do!?
Hi Energy!
What to do what to do?
That is kind of a tough one.
I have dated women older and younger than myself. Usually the age difference is not more than about 5 years if older or younger. I have been having a little bit of a similar situation myself in that.. I am 40 and look like.. so people tell me often that I look like I am in my very young 30's. Heck I still get carded for what ever! I have not found many people in my age range either, fo what ever reason it may be. Either they look like life has taken it's toll on them Big Time!! or They just are not my type for what ever reason OR all the compatible ones are taken. I feel as though the women who are attracted to me are quite a bit younger yet mature for their age. I have pondered over the same questions in my head as you talked about and I find it to be a tough one. I don't think I am against age differences really. I think the hesitations I do have about it has mostly to do with societies out look on it and really really have done my best most of my life to not give a damn about what others think. Still I find it in the back and front of my mind, questioning what is wright or wrong about it. I think that truly all that matters is if you are happy or not.
I have a close friend that has been dating and living with her partner for about 3.5 years now and she is HALF his age. She is 27 and he is 55. Some times it bothers me but I think that has more to do with the way he treats her not with the age difference.
So I think you should just do what honestly makes you happy. I think I need to follow my own advice as well. Life is to short and we all need to live in the here and now and no future trip. After all.. the future does not exist and neither does the past, it is only Now & Now & Now & Now & Now that does exist. So enjoy the NOW!
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