Other peoples ideas on what we are "ment" to be...
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charliegirl
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: Queensland Australia
Other peoples ideas on what we are "ment" to be...
Hello all. Just some of my thoughts that Id like to get out in the open. I have been out as bi since I was 19 I am now 29 (in a few weeks, lol) The people that know me well, my friends call me lesbian and others like to call me bi. I have tried to date guys and I even have a 3 year old son. I never last longer than 3 or 4 months when I am with a man, I dont want to have sex with them and I dont feel close to them like I should do. My town is a small country town and lesbain is something thats not greatly accepted. My mum tells me its a faze nothing more. I dont know myself what I am Im sure in my heart that women are who Im ment to be with and if I date guys Im only kidding myself. Im seeing a female now its not a relationship as Im her first female experience and she likes guys alot. But when I see her I get very shy and I am by no means a shy person! When she touches me she sends shivers all through my body. When we are in bed together I cant get enough of her and she cant get enough of me. If Im in a room with men and women I only look at the women. I love the site of a sexy female body it sends me mad. A guy even the so called good looking ones do nothing to me at all. Im worried that Im going to end up alone due to the fact there are next to no women who like women in my town. That in its self scares me. Im sure Im lesbain but to live true to myself sounds impossible. Anyone else out there like me?
Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:07 am
realwoman
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: under our tree in Africa
Re: Other peoples ideas on what we are "ment" to b
quote:Originally posted by charliegirl:
.......... Im worried that Im going to end up alone due to the fact there are next to no women who like women in my town. That in its self scares me. Im sure Im lesbain but to live true to myself sounds impossible. Anyone else out there like me?
Dear Charliegirl
I think most of us started in that situation... I started to come out to myself when i was about 30, but amongst others, exactly that fear, ie,
"where the hell do i find other 'intelligent spiritual woman' in this super-conservative place'
kept me from living true to myself, and being proud of who i was....which meant that i was so desolate, i did not even see these woman when they were right before my eyes! Only when i made peace with who i was, and really accepted my sexuality, and could tell my friends proudly, 'listen, i am gay' did i start to recognise these women, and BOY OH BOY....there are WAY more here than i ever thought possible!!
So, my advice to you is this, even if you dont have a girlfriend, just make peace with the fact that you are lesbian, and embrace that, and love that part of yourself, 'cause it defines who you are... stop figthing it, and the energy you radiate will draw these women to you...
And when you least expect it, your soulmate will come waltzing into your heart...
Hang in there, it will happen!
Hugs,
~real
(PS - I did not come out to my parents until much much later, so dont rush yourself, you will know when the time is right
~rw _________________ .
.
light is to darkness as love is to fear...
Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:42 am
charliegirl
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: Queensland Australia
I just love Mels place so far! That you so much for such a thought out reply. You are so I right I do have to start being true to myself first and then hopefully it will all fall into place. I dont activaly chase after people for dates infact I have been happy by myself for some time now. But I have to admit it would be nice to find someone special. I know that she is out there some where and it would be odd if she is in the same situation that I am in, lol! Once again thank you for your reply
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