Hi everyone.... I Googled to find a forum of such so I can get some opinions or advice from some of you.
Here's my story in a nutshell...
I was born and raised in NH and for a long time I was pretty much "out" in my life. when my girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up it was hard. But I got a new job and stayed pretty much single. Only select few people in my life (after the break-up) new of my sexual orientation. No one at my new job knew. I come across as being straight, I look straight and can act it but it's VERY difficult not to slip when talking. Anyway.... I grew very close to a co-worker, straight of course, engaged and NO i was not in-love with her, but I did care about her. She was a great friend.
I continued to work at this job for 3 years, I still didn't tell her about myself as much as I wanted to and as many times as I've thought out how to tell her, I just couldn't.
Well, an opportunity came to me, to move to Arizona. It was offered via email. So since I had never been on this side of the country before I decided to take it. Get away from the cold winters and make a new life for myself. I thought, this will be a great opportunity to be MYSELF! No MORE LIES....
It's now been a year for me here in Arizona. I love my new job, the people here are great, my coworkers are great but I'm still hiding!!! I don't know why, I don't know what I'm so afraid of.
Can anyone help me out here?
I don't want to mislead anyone like I did at my old job. I want to be ME!
The town I live in is small. There are a few gay/lesbians around and I thankfully met one so far. There are no gay bars and I would imagine the closest one would be in Phoenix or CA (4 hours away).
Can anyone tell me what a good approach would be to coming out to my coworkers?
A little about them. It's a small company. Run by a husband and wife, both of which are great people. The owner is the one that offered me the job via email.
My coworkers are great, both married, around the same age. As far as their concerns about gays, they don't cut them down, I've never heard them joke about it, and occassionally when we've gone out the subject has come up a few times in regards to some waiter they may think is gay... as for me, I don't say anything. I bite my tongue.
Am I just being ridiculous in not saying anything? Should I?
We've come to a decision that instead of having our girls night out once a month, we decided to take turns and have it at our houses. And I'm first. I'm sure our next night out won't be until after Xmas or NY's but am wondering if I should say something before they come over or if I should just NOT de-lesbianize my house and let them question me.
help? _________________ Some drink from the fountain of knowledge while others just garlge with it
Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:57 am
JOOLSY
Joined: 14 Nov 2004
Posts: 13
Location: BONNIE SCOTLAND
OK BABES FIRST OF ALL COMING OUT WILL BE THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE.BELIEVE ME IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN.
SECONDLY COMIN OUT HAS TO BE UNDER YOUR CONTROL .SAY IT WHEN YOU WANT TO AND THE WAY YOU WANT TO . YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE QUESTION WILL COME AND YOU WILL END UP BEING SICK OF LYING AND IT WILL ALL COME OUT WRONG.
SO I THINK THE WEE NIGHT YOU ARE HAVING AT YOUR HOUSE IS AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY TO LET IT OUT.
YOU COULD ASK EVERYONE TO TELL EACH OTHER SOMETHING THAT YOU ALL DONT KNOW ALREADY ABOUT EACH OTHER.YOURS WILL BE THE BEST
(BARRING A TRANSEXUAL BEING THERE) EVERYONE WILL BE INTRIGUED .TRUST ME.
OR YOU COULD JUST HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND TELL THEM THAT YOU NOW HOLD ENOUGH TRUST IN THEM TO LET THEM KNOW YOUR BIG SECRET.THEY WILL BE FLATTERED.AND YOU WILL BE RELIEVED.
YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AND ITS AMAZING HOW SUCH NEWS GETS ABOUT AND THERE WONT BE ANY MORE AWKWARD SITUATIONS.
BETTER OUT THAN IN .IF YO ARE SECRETIVE PEOPLE OFTEN ASSUME ALOT MORE AND IT JUST GETS WORSE FOR YOU.
GOOD LUCK BABES.GO FOR IT.
XXXXXXX _________________ BETTER OUT THAN IN!
Sat Nov 20, 2004 8:43 pm
Arizonagal
Joined: 20 Nov 2004
Posts: 2
Location: Arizona
quote:
YOU COULD ASK EVERYONE TO TELL EACH OTHER SOMETHING THAT YOU ALL DONT KNOW ALREADY ABOUT EACH OTHER.YOURS WILL BE THE BEST
Wow! Thanks! I never would have thought of that - and you're right. I know I'd be much more happier. And that's all I want to be is happy. I love my new State, the surroundings, my job etc. I'm just not happy that I can't be myself.
Thanks so much!
I'll let you know how it goes...
Sat Nov 20, 2004 8:53 pm
melons Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
that sounds like a good idea
Remember if they respect you as a colleague, they will probably not even bat an eyelid about you being lesbian....and ...they will probably respect you more for being honest with them and trusting them.
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