**edited sry taking the story out, it's giving me a headache.
Last edited by R41N on Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:14 am; edited 1 time in total
Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:27 pm
RedIsTheNewBlackBabe
Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 160
Location: I am Canadian!!
reading your post i swear you were reading a diary i tossed out years ago. My girlfriend and i started that way, her with a bf, and me tripping over every little gesture she "accidently" threw at me. o i know how it's pure torture. We were cuddling one night and i couldn't take it anymore i guess this is where i get to my advice. You should really talk to her, if you like her get your feelings out in the open because if she is your "bestfriend" she wont judge you and even if she cant return your feelings she will respect you. I'm not going to say talking to my now gf was easy i had the hardest time getting out what i was trying to say. she ended up grabbing me a glass of water because it was stressful and her initial reaction was just shocked. But really its worth the effort and mild embarassment because you're going to have to get the ball rolling sumhow because if you sit back nothing is going to happen. anyways thats just my two cents good luck hunnie!!! _________________ I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way.. And I miss you more than I should... Than I thought I could... Can't get my mind off of you..
Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:37 pm
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
I dont think I can do it and if I do I know i'll mess up... I dont want her to look at me differently. It's kind of like a scary thought.
Even though she is my best friend, and if she doesnt accept my feelings.. then I would really hate myself. I am never really the person to share my deepest dark secrets. I listen to all my friend's problems and issues... but I like to keep all my issues on the inside...and yes I did share my thoughts on the web that's only b/c u guys can relate while I remain anonymous.. err i feel rather a little pathetic for being scared...
Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:03 am
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
quote:Originally posted by R41N:
I dont think I can do it and if I do I know i'll mess up... I dont want her to look at me differently. It's kind of like a scary thought.
Even though she is my best friend, and if she doesnt accept my feelings.. then I would really hate myself. I am never really the person to share my deepest dark secrets. I listen to all my friend's problems and issues... but I like to keep all my issues on the inside...and yes I did share my thoughts on the web that's only b/c u guys can relate while I remain anonymous.. err i feel rather a little pathetic for being scared...
I've been there too, and could never say anything. It's so awful to be stuck between wanting them so bad and the fear of losing them. Don't feel pathetic, you aren't pathetic, you are just in love. I understand how intense that frustrated ache is. Unfortunately like I said, I never did anything about it, so I have no advice for you. I was never close enough to them to cuddle, in fact, I don't think I could have done that without totally losing it, but sometimes I wonder if they might already know when they are doing things like that , and are just seeing how far they can go.
Does she know you like women?
Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:50 am
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
quote:Originally posted by Dark prism:
I've been there too, and could never say anything. It's so awful to be stuck between wanting them so bad and the fear of losing them. Don't feel pathetic, you aren't pathetic, you are just in love. I understand how intense that frustrated ache is. Unfortunately like I said, I never did anything about it, so I have no advice for you. I was never close enough to them to cuddle, in fact, I don't think I could have done that without totally losing it, but sometimes I wonder if they might already know when they are doing things like that , and are just seeing how far they can go.
Does she know you like women?
Nope I dont think so, I didnt tell her or anything. She might of suspected it by the way I act around her. I think she might of tried to ask me couple indirect questions.
Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:08 am
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
Maybe that would be the first step. Maybe let her know you are a lesbian first without discussing how much you like her. I know that will be a big step in itself (one that I haven't taken myself, so I am no expert), but you can judge her reaction to that first, and then decide about the next step of telling her how you feel about her.
She may tell you she has the same feelings, or she may tell you she has never had those feelings. Either way, that may tell you what your next step is.
Good luck, sweetie. I know it's hard.
Dp
Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:47 am
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
quote:Originally posted by Dark prism:
Maybe that would be the first step. Maybe let her know you are a lesbian first without discussing how much you like her. I know that will be a big step in itself (one that I haven't taken myself, so I am no expert), but you can judge her reaction to that first, and then decide about the next step of telling her how you feel about her.
She may tell you she has the same feelings, or she may tell you she has never had those feelings. Either way, that may tell you what your next step is.
Good luck, sweetie. I know it's hard.
Dp
ok here is the complicated part maybe I should tell you guys...
I am in the military...and military does not accept gays/les ..they kick them out. =S
Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:10 am
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
Is she in the military too?
Are you worried about her telling them about you if she doesn't take it well?
Dp
Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:23 am
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
yes she is too, and we are currently in training.
And i dont think she will tell on me... even if she wanted to there is the dont ask dont tell policy. However, rumors in the military spread fast... it's like high school... then everyone will know. I guess i've reached a dead end. I cant do it. =\
Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:43 am
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
I feel for you, I really do. It sucks things have to be this way. I'm sorry.
I wish I knew what to say to you, but I can't even get my own shit together.
Some people say this is a choice. I don't know anyone who would choose this.
Hang in there, baby.
Dp
Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:56 am
R41N
Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
yeah does kind of suck.
But thanks for understanding, I really appreciate what you have to say.
Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:59 am
Dark prism
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 865
Location: California Dreamin, baby.
Awww, I liked your original post. It didn't give me a headache. I could relate to so much of it.
I understand though if you think she might see it.
Take care.
Dp
Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:45 am
checker Guest
hey,
I read, and could relate a similar situation from my past and had a piece of advice, but when you mentioned you were in the military in training at that I suddenly had nothing I could add that would help. Sorry, that's a hard one, thanks for protecting us though.
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