I can’t help but to experience occasional cognitive dissonance in regard to being gay. I certainly believe I’m a lesbian, but I have a hard time saying “Oh, that chick is hot,” and such, especially around straight people. It feels so shameful and unacceptable to express myself as I am. It’s been so ingrained in me that homosexuality is evil that I have a hard time accepting my own homosexuality in relation to others. It’s just my fear of retribution, I think. I’m getting better at saying how I feel and what I think, but it’s just so hard at times. Anyone else ever experience this? Am I just a coward?
Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:59 am
Rene
Joined: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 12
Location: Northern Virginia
Cognitive Dissonance
I know how you feel. If you read my history in member intros...you can see why. I have a hard time expressing my lesbianism as well. There are a select few I can, but am having a hard time coming out to others or even to those I have come out, expressing it.
I think in time we may be able to adjust to this...one can hope!
Rene
Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:39 am
Guest
i agree with both of you. i experience this on dialy basis. i know that i am a lesbian it's just really hard to talk about it with my straight friends. i feel ashamed because of where i live is very small and close minded.
Tue Nov 14, 2006 9:17 pm
miss rebecca
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 99
Location: neverland
oops sorry that was me. i forgot to log in. _________________ you don't have to be rich to be my girl
you don't have to be cool to rule my world
ain't no
particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want
your extra time and your . . .
kiss.
Tue Nov 14, 2006 9:27 pm
Fresser
Joined: 08 Nov 2006
Posts: 5
I can still be totally passive and cowardly about it too. When I am out with my straight friends, I say, "Hey J---, don't you dare check out that girl" and then, of course, everyone would look, and I could look too. Or "Oh my gosh, cute jeans!" (perfect for booty checkin). Totally sick, I know, but its sort of my way to have fun, and not make people uncomfortable. In an ideal world, it shouldn't be uncomfortable, and we just don't live in that sort of place. I think bringing up any sort of sexuality in a mixed group of people (guys, girls, straight, gay, bi, etc) is going to be uncomfortable no matter what (I feel weirded out with my girl friends check out guys, i admit). And sometimes, when you are out having a good time, you don't want to call attention to it. Like it would click in peoples mind, "Oh yeah, she's like THAT". I also feel ashamed too, and I guess being all passive is a way to avoid coping with it, I just don't believe people will change. My sexuality is still something private with me (not hidden, just not all out there) and whether it is just because it is unacceptable or something I hold sacred, I don't know.
Love
Fresser
p.s. OMG that girl is wearing a tank top in the WINTER?
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