I just don't know what to do-my best friend and I have been very close for over 3 years now-she's always been in touch loads ,we've slept in the same bed on holiday (nothing sexual has ever happened) and I've recently admitted to myself that I feel more than just friendship for her,although I don't think that I'd want it to become an actual sexual relationship.She's told me she loves me(although I think she meant as a close friend).I know she's never had a relationship with another woman.
She's going through therapy having had a breakdown.She's very vulnerable.She's got into a relationship with a much younger man online and she plans to meet him.It's not the sort of thing she'd have done before the breakdown.I feel very torn,confused and miserable.I don't think she could handle me telling her how I feel and part of me says I should just wait,until she's stronger and until the online relationship has run it's course although I'm finding it really difficult.I've not had a relationship with a woman before.
Has anyone been in a similar situation.Can anyone advise me please?
Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:48 pm
iloveyou_but do you feel
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 107
Location: can
hey penguin, that's like my situation.....im in love with my best friend and she says she loves me too but i think she only means it in the friendship way. we would talk online everyday and only a couple of weeks ago, i stated saying "i love you" to her...i was trying to hint to her but i think she takes it the friensship way. i try to hint to her about other things too, such as "liv tyler is hot" or other stuff indicating that your interested in girls. she's straight, i know that for sure....but i think she might change her view. i think if i hint to her a bit more and maybe make some moves, she will give in becuase i think she likes me somewhat too from what she's said lately.
for your situation, i think you should let things settle down a bit first. let her know that your there for her and that you love her. when all this is over, she wil lthink back on who was by her side when she had trouble. hint to her a bit more every so often. over time, she may fall in love with you.
same here. i've never had a g/f. but i know she is what i want. right now she ahs a b/f and it KILLS. her boyfriend is a player and she knows that, yet doesn't care. i keep thinking to myself, im right here and i love you, yet you love someone who is such a bastard. just because he's a guy and she doesn't want to break up with him because it's her first relationship.
i've been best friends with ehr for 2 years now. definitely be really supportive to your best friend...she will feel it.
hope everything goes well for you
Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:53 pm
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Penguin,
So many of us have been in your position. You mentioned she is particularly vulnerable right now. Go with your instinct--this is not the time to tell her you love her as more than a friend. Yes, it's hard, but it's the best thing to do for the long-term.
I recently attended a National Coming Out Day panel (U.S.). Every one of the five people on the panel had fallen in love with their best friend at one point or another. Makes you wonder.
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