are most of the lesbians ugly? Goto page 1, 2, 3Next
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sophie86
Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 7
Location: asia
are most of the lesbians ugly?
i live in asia.so i donno what is the situation in US and europe countries.people here have the feeling there are many lesbians turn to their memeber of same sex because they cant get the attention of men because they don have pretty face,good body figure and etc.or maybe they lose hope on men because men treated them like rubbish.
i might be wrong because there are good-looking lesbians in the world.just wanna figure out are most of the lesbians are ugly?
i cant meet many lesbians in my country cause it is still very conservative here.
i am seeking any opinion from u guys!
Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:18 am
sophie86
Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 7
Location: asia
sorry guys...if this question seems too rude...but that is the way what people in my country think....i am not to make u guys angry here...
Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:25 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
sophie... hi, welcome to mels.. nice to meet you... we are women (not guys), (try this , hello ladies).... are we ugly and that is why we turned to each other? In my opinion, its a great big HELL NO.... we are beautiful and thrive and grow in one another's fascinating charms and deep inviting eyes..... Escape men? That is not why i am a lesbian. I am a lesbian because i'd rather be in the company of a woman for companionship, commraderie, love, ALL of it....
I hear ya with regard to your culture, but unfortunately do not have a solution to offer you...
Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:39 am
Stuckinahs
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 39
Location: New York
Sophie...I think there is as much variety within the Lesbian population as there is in the female population in general. We come in all shapes and sizes, all colors, all ages. I went on an Olivia trip a few years ago, and I met women from all over. The oldest one was in her 90's...the youngest was 18. It was a wonderful experience...there is a wealth of experience, history, talents, and kind hearts "out there."
Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:55 am
chordphrute
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Posts: 1412
Location: Nouvelle Orléans, Louisiane
..a wee side note if I may -
Every single woman I've ever dated is absolutely beautiful - both emotionally and physically. With respect to your country (whatever it may be), I'm a little disturbed that anybody, regardless of locality, would automatically assume such an audacious declaration. (i.e…if all gay women are ugly, does that mean all straight women are picturesque?...yes, I know that is a dramatic statement, however I am referring to logic.)
p.s. what does it matter?
p.p.s. im sorry you haven't met many lesbians in your country. that's a shame.
p.p.p.s. i'm hot. (not really, but i can dream!)
p.p.p.p.s. Hello, – nice to meet you. I live in the southern U.S. Most lesbians I meet take my breath away ? _________________ "You can't kiss and keep your eyes open, they'll cross forever" - Rubyfruit Jungle
Sat Jun 03, 2006 10:58 pm
lichan
Joined: 09 Feb 2006
Posts: 63
Japan is the most tolerate in all of Asia in regards to homosexuality.
Which part of asia r u from, if u dont mind me asking?
For me, the reason I like women is b/c they are hot, attractive and they understand women b/c they are women. _________________ "I can't love a person who doesnt love herself."
Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:13 pm
Greenshadow
Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 176
Location: Near a tea cup
quote:Originally posted by lichan:
Japan is the most tolerate in all of Asia in regards to homosexuality.
Really? That's good to know! I'm moving there after college, and I'd been wondering about how accepting they are of gays and lesbians. _________________ "My food is problematic."
-River Tam
Firefly
Sun Jun 04, 2006 1:43 am
sophie86
Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 7
Location: asia
sorry i had that wrong perception.cuz i am worry that if women only turn to women after losing hope in men then we wont find true love.we r involve in a relationship that is not based on love.well,now i know more about it n not that ignorant.i will surely tell my people here so that they wont have that silly thought.(i come from Malaysia).
i would say that lesbianism is not popular here.(or many still in closet).i wish i was born in us or europe countries because it is easier to find a gf there n the pressure there wont be that intense(correct me if i am wrong).even a couple(a man and a woman) hold hands or kissing in the park will be fined for that!so i really cant imagine what will happen to gay people here.
that is the saddest part being in my country....not rights for us!!!
Sun Jun 04, 2006 12:42 pm
chordphrute
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Posts: 1412
Location: Nouvelle Orléans, Louisiane
sophie - I truly am sorry to hear about the stout conservatism throughout Malaysia pertaining to gay/lesbian people. I wish you good luck in expanding the horizons of those around you... _________________ "You can't kiss and keep your eyes open, they'll cross forever" - Rubyfruit Jungle
Sun Jun 04, 2006 3:23 pm
katla12
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 70
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA
Lesbians Ugly?
quote:Originally posted by Cavewoman:
sophie... hi, welcome to mels.. nice to meet you... we are women (not guys), (try this , hello ladies).... are we ugly and that is why we turned to each other? In my opinion, its a great big HELL NO.... we are beautiful and thrive and grow in one another's fascinating charms and deep inviting eyes..... Escape men? That is not why i am a lesbian. I am a lesbian because i'd rather be in the company of a woman for companionship, commraderie, love, ALL of it....
I hear ya with regard to your culture, but unfortunately do not have a solution to offer you...
I could not agree more with Cavewoman. I was born a very attractive blond/ blue/ tall/ American woman. Men have asked me out alot. I am a Lesbian. I love women and only want to be with them. _________________ Tell Me About You? I Want to Know More!
Sun Jun 04, 2006 7:09 pm
sophie86
Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 7
Location: asia
i started to realize that i am a lesbian since 2 years ago.undeniably i feel so good n happy when i was with a woman i like.but i just cant told her that i like her.it is very hard to say it.i don have any crush for men,but many for women.my parents and friends do not know about me being gay,i always pretend to be straight all the times.i would discuss guy with my friends but there is no feeling of love towards men.
my parents have high expectation on me.they want me to study well,get a good job and marry to a good guy.i donno how to tell them n sometimes i just ignore my feelings.i am very pressured because there is nobody would understands me.it is still too early to tell my parents,i have to live with them and i don want to have any conflicts with them.
i certainly not thinking me as a freak but i am too worry what others will think of me.so untill now,i am afraid to tell anybody.so being here help me to feel that i am not alone,and to boost my confidence.
i hope desperately to find a woman i love n she loves me too!!!anyone here???
Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:28 am
DamagedGoods
Joined: 13 May 2006
Posts: 550
That must truly be hard. I find it difficult enough here in Australia where there are laws against discrimination against gay/lesbian people in the workforce and in general. Employers cannot refuse to hire you, or dismiss you, based on your sexual orientation here. It is still difficult to find acceptance, but I am fortunate to have amazing friends. Of those that I have told, 100% of them have been fantastic and so very supportive. I've found that with the support of my real friends, I know it isn't going to hurt, or be as hard, when I do come up against those that will condemn me.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be in a country where you can be fined by law for loving someone. Every time I see how far our world has come, I see also how far we have yet to go.
I apologize if this is off topic, but I feel the need to defend myself and my asian heritage.
Being a hybrid of chinese/american experiences, it alarms me that Sophie seems to be using and umbrella term (asian) to represent all asian culture as ultra conservative, anti-gay, strict, and prude. I find this representation of "asia" does not match my experiences in with chinese culture, or even what I know about asia.
As someone mentioned...japan is quite open to homosexuality.
Thailand supposedly has a very high rate of transexuals.
I've heard that chinese emporers used to keep "boys" for sexual pleasure.
My friend's cousin who has lived her whole life in China, is a lesbian. She doesn't seem to have any troubles.
My father took me to see a chinese shrink who never batted an eye when she learned of my sexuality. In fact, she laughed at my father for thinking it was a psychological problem.
I find that some asian culture is more androgynous than the west... just look at anime, or the current fashion in Hong Kong.
I would like to point out that "asia" is a term which covers numerous different cultures, countires, languages. I personally would feel more comfortable telling my chinese friends about my sexuality than my white friends here in upper middle-class, suburban
New York.
The point is...the asian perspective of sexuality is varied within itself as well as different from the west. It is not fair to try to speak for all asians because we do not all think alike or hold the same cultural values.
These stereotypes of ugly lesbians are only as false (or true) as saying that asians are uptight homophobes.
Stereotypes...it's all about stereotypes. the ugly lesbian stereotype exists in America too. All those things you mentioned about rejection from men...those ideas exist here too. It's not just an asian thing.
~CC
P.S. I have only been to Hong Kong, various places in China mainland, Macau, Thailand, Singapore, Taiwan, and Indonesia. I have never been to Malaysia although I am vaguely familiar with Manglish (Malaysian English). Good Luck with finding whatever you're looking for.
Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:38 am
RedViolin1
Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 86
Location: Michigan
Sophie, are you muslim? I ask only because it does make coming out even more difficult.
We all have to remember that young womyn outside the US or other "western" countries might not have the benefit of the knowledge of how the world outside their borders thinks. I think sophie is simply asking if the stereotypes exist in other cultures. I applaud her reaching out to find different viewpoints. I also think she is asking for support on how to respond to these views when she is faced with them. The accepting of oneself as gay is a long process made much more difficult by oppressive laws in most countries.
Sophie, YOU must decide if or when to tell anyone that you are a lesbian, with always having in mind your safety. Malaysia's Strict adherance to Muslim law makes it often dangerous to declare yourself openly gay.
If you can learn to internally accept yourself as being beautiful, loving and worthy of being loved in return, and accpet the flaws you might have as making you "unique", this is the first step in seeing the beauty in others. Physical beauty is only skin deep (comes only from your genes), true beauty comes from within the heart of any woman. Wisdom, strength, courage and generousity makes a woman beautiful to me.
Below is from the website utopia-asia.com
Advisory: Gay life in Malaysia, as in other Asian countries, is blossoming despite conservative religion-based discrimination and outdated colonial-era laws. Former Deputy Prime Minister, Anwar Ibrahim, was famously removed from office by a trumped-up sodomy conviction that was reversed by Malaysia's high court in 2004. Muslims, both local and visitors, are also subject to religious law which may (though rarely does) punish gay or lesbian sexual activity with flogging and male transvestism with imprisonment. Even though religious law does not apply to non-Muslims, Islam is the state religion under Malaysia's constitution and thus homosexual citizens face official discrimination. Police may arrest any person (Muslim or not) for sex in a public place (i.e. cruise spots), so visitors are well-advised to respect Malaysian law and customs while they are guests in the country. Having said that, police generally have not detained foreigners during raids on local gay businesses, focusing instead on ethnic Malay customers, almost 100% of whom are considered Muslim at birth by law. _________________ i am ceaslessly amazing... at times! fun loving, passionate, perfectly imperfect human being.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty. I drink whats left and ask for a refill!
Last edited by RedViolin1 on Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:30 am
shine
Joined: 04 Jun 2006
Posts: 5
Location: china
lesbian was born as lesbian,nothing can change ,nothing can influence.
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