My girfriend does not beleive she is gay... Goto page Previous1, 2
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goldenwillow
Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 87
Location: nashville,tn
quote:Originally posted by DamagedGoods:
quote:Originally posted by Stuckinahs:
My ex was like that. I am the only woman she was ever with...so she was always saying, "I'm not a Lesbian. I just love you." 'Turns out she didn't love me at all. Once during a fight, she called me a dyke. I just laughed and asked, "What makes you think that's an insult?"
It would only be an insult if, like your ex and the person mentioned on this thread, you were denying who you were. I joke that I'm not a lesbian, but my gf is... but I am only kidding and she knows it.
I do however have some issues 'placing' who I am. When I first joined this forum I posted about that, looking for some answers. Most people replied asking why does it need to be labeled? Then my gf had a mild heart attack and I was so so so scared something would happen and I couldn't be by her side. I realised then that everyone was right, I didn't need a label. I have been with men, I am now with a woman. Although I feel more comfortable with women, and have not enjoyed any of my relationships with men, I still don't need a label. I don't love men, I don't love women... I love one person and one person only.
I have, however, told those people that I'm close to, the people who know me on a daily basis. I think this is more the issue for you, goddess, than her not being able to label herself. This has to be a personal decision, you can't force her to 'come out'. Talk to her about your worries, talk to her about hers. Maybe she has some very valid reasons to not be ready to admit to your real relationship. If she was willing to lose other friends over this it must be important enough to her to not wish to be open at this time. But it also means the relationship is important enough for her to risk those friends over.
I'd also be asking where the relationship is heading. What are you willing to sacrifice? Are you capable of continuing the relationship if she never admits to it? Is she prepared to ever admit it, and what would have to change for her to do so? I think these questions are important, in finding out how strong the relationship is and how committed you both are.
I wish you the very best of luck.
DG
yeah, at the first part of our relationship i would say that same exact thing to my gf. she knew i was kidding. i used humor to deflect the question b/c i was very uncomfortable identifying myself as 'lesbian'. but after a little while i came around. i agree with the statement "know your limits and stick to 'em". be patient with her: but have some self-respect not to put up with too much unnecessary crap from her.
Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:07 pm
goddessofadanac
Joined: 17 May 2006
Posts: 25
Location: Ontario Canada
well here is my update its going on a year of us unofficaly being together.. andits starting to bug me i knwo labels are not important and by all means i am not asking her to lable her self lesbian or gay or i mean even bisexual but i would at least like a label on what we are.. i like lables sometimes ineed lables in the past i was very bad with commiment and becuase me and an ex of mine alot of the time never made it offical i ended up being with other girls cause well i was tech not really in a relatinship.. and no matter how much i love this girl and know she loves me i feel that , that situation might present its self again... we talked and being with other people would be considered cheating... so are we not dating or in a relatinship... she once told me way back that we woudl never be anything that bugged me soooo much ... and talkin to her ex bf who for a breif time was a friend of mine finding out that he asked her out the first day they met and she said yes now its been a year a whole year and she iwll nto consdier our selfs dating honestly last year i thought just a few more months and she will come around but imstartin to think she wont.. and im starting to feel like im gettin the shitty end of the stick here.. to make things worth last month i moved in with her and her family which has no clue something is going on with us and has no clue im gay.. welcome to my life... anyone want the rights for a book yet???..... grr its just gettin really frustrating and im finding my self annoyed... last week her ex bf asked her out and she didnt really tell me much of the detials which sent us into a huge fight.. i have trust issues an di figer this is mostly due to the fact that i dont think i fully truth my self.. but i feel thats cause well i dont have a proper answer form her of what we are so i feel stuck.. their is other girls that i would haev chances to be with not long term of course.. and being only 21 i would like to enjoy being this age.. i was stuck in a " i dont know what we are" kinda relatiinship most of my teen years and i see the same pattern of evants happening here... i dont know what to do... haha i have asked you guys im sure 100000 times.. any words of advice... i dont want to cheat but i also dont want to feel like im missin out on stuff again....grrrrrrrrrrrrr help.... _________________ Me
Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:49 am
miss rebecca
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 99
Location: neverland
in my opinion it's the person not the gender.
but geeze...tell her to quit with the meladrama. if you enjoy sex with a member of the same sex you're gay or bi.
simple as that.
(easier said than done, i know) _________________ you don't have to be rich to be my girl
you don't have to be cool to rule my world
ain't no
particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want
your extra time and your . . .
kiss.
Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:15 am
goddessofadanac
Joined: 17 May 2006
Posts: 25
Location: Ontario Canada
quote:Originally posted by miss rebecca:
in my opinion it's the person not the gender.
but geeze...tell her to quit with the meladrama. if you enjoy sex with a member of the same sex you're gay or bi.
simple as that.
(easier said than done, i know)
haha your message made me laugh so much.. anyways for the update we have been together 14 months now going on 15 .. she finally in janurary alowed me to call her my gf which is better.. it stopped some of the stupid fights i still live with her.. her parents still know nothing.. which makes me sad i really do like them alot.. stuff is hard since i work with her now and cant tell people im gay.. which is upsetting i feel almost as if i am back in the closet but i do beleive i love her so only time will tell hmm what else.. nothing else really to say things are hard but arent all lesbian relationships difficult haha _________________ Me
Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:33 am
miss rebecca
Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 99
Location: neverland
quote:Originally posted by goddessofadanac:
quote:Originally posted by miss rebecca:
in my opinion it's the person not the gender.
but geeze...tell her to quit with the meladrama. if you enjoy sex with a member of the same sex you're gay or bi.
simple as that.
(easier said than done, i know)
haha your message made me laugh so much.. anyways for the update we have been together 14 months now going on 15 .. she finally in janurary alowed me to call her my gf which is better.. it stopped some of the stupid fights i still live with her.. her parents still know nothing.. which makes me sad i really do like them alot.. stuff is hard since i work with her now and cant tell people im gay.. which is upsetting i feel almost as if i am back in the closet but i do beleive i love her so only time will tell hmm what else.. nothing else really to say things are h
ard but arent all lesbian relationships difficult haha
eh. most are in the beginning. i had been fooling around with a girl about two years ago and i started to develop feelings for her and vice versa. i flipped out and ran to flordia for spring break went on a "fuck him if he's hot an interested" little weekly run. (skank, i know). all the meaningless sex made me realize hw much i do love her. therefore, i packed my stuff up left early and came home to her arms. now we're still together. i told her about spring break and she understands. we're now OUT to everyone. and thnigs are a lot better. turst me. everything will work out for you. even if ou decide she may not be the one for you. _________________ you don't have to be rich to be my girl
you don't have to be cool to rule my world
ain't no
particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want
your extra time and your . . .
kiss.
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