Homophobic friends -- open their minds, or walk away?
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GayGoddess
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 45
Location: Michigan
Homophobic friends -- open their minds, or walk away?
I'm speaking specifically of an old online friend who recently found me on MySpace. At first he seemed cool with me being a lesbian (I wasn't out yet when I knew him before). Then he starts talking about "homosexual propaganda" ... that he "thinks" he's OK with "socializing with homosexuals" but that he thinks it's something for older people to decide, and that kids shouldn't be seeing all this "mass media" LGBT "propaganda."
At first I thought this was an opportunity to respond with my own truth and maybe open his mind. So I did. But he then talked about the "cultish" way that the LGBT crowd is, and that I'm "clearly not like that" so it's OK. That's such bullshit! I'm steaming over that...
But my question is, do I cut him off there for my own sanity, or do I continue the discussion? None of his words were directly attacking gay people, or at least I could tell that he didn't intend them to be. He's just brainwashed with all the other homophobes... So what do you do in these situations? Do you try to change their minds or do you end the friendship?
Thanks in advance for your advice. _________________
Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:18 am
Dueceswild
Joined: 13 Apr 2005
Posts: 304
Location: WV
personally i think that I would tell him in a nutshell, You are who you are, we are not nuts, freaks or cults, we are everyday people just like him who have found love, so if he can't except all of us then you are going to have to cut him out of your life, because you get enough shit from people you don't care about, you don't need it from your friends.
Wow i think maybe I might need some Midol I sound a little bitchy huh? Well guess I'm just getting tired of people's shit!
Hope this helps,
D _________________ Never do anything you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics!
Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:53 pm
GayGoddess
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 45
Location: Michigan
Thanks for your advice! I'm surprirsed I got only one response for this... I think this is a very important topic. I'd love to know how you have all dealt with this in the past. Thanks in advance. _________________
Tue Apr 11, 2006 1:39 am
SHAY
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 205
You can give them your views but in the end it's up to them to open their own minds. You can't do it for them. It's a choice just like anything else. So you can walk away, and if they choose to open their minds to you and your views, then they can walk back. _________________ "it ISNT porn its EROTICA there IS a difference" --Wolfie
Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:15 pm
DiegoRider
Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 5
I'm not big on it being my responsiblity to open people's minds, right or wrong
Some of those words aren't the words of someone who would be open to accepting or listening to different point of view.
You also have to think about the level of your relationship. If this was your brother, well then a bit more effort needs to be put into the relationship. An online friend who was out of touch for a while...well...
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I'm steaming over that...
