First post here. I'm up late at night and thinking through my life. I'm 35 (almost 36) y.o., married to a man, but have had numerous relationships with women over the years. When single, I identified as a lesbian. Once I met my husband, I pushed that off as a side issue. However (looking back), it wasn't the best way to go about it. We've been together for 5 years and there isn't a day that passes that I think about what my life would be like if I were with a woman. I'll admit that my first instinct with marrying a man was to have a child, but that has become a fertility issue now and we still don't have children.
Sorry to bog down here on a lesbian forum. I'm confused and wondering "what if". I've kept my lesbian lifestyle away from my husband and can help think if it would be better to let him know my true feelings. Naturally, his first thought is "hawt"... not quite what I'm thinking...
Boy, I feel silly posting this here. Ignore me as needed since I don't want to stir things up. I'm just looking for another path in my life as is.
Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:50 am
ghost
Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA
dear nursie
please don't ever feel silly about voicing your thoughts here at mels. it is often that by speaking about whatever troubles you, that clarity is reached.
we are not only a lesbian community, but welcome all who relate to the issues regarding the lesbian lifestyle. that is a very wide scope, and you will perhaps fnd that you are not alone in feeling confused.
have a stroll through the site, there are plenty of posts which you may find useful. and don't forget the poetry and stories that members have posted on the other forums!
welcome again to mel's. may your stay be a long and happy one.
regards
ghost
Wed Feb 22, 2006 6:23 am
Linda Bray
Joined: 22 Aug 2004
Posts: 4052
Nursie,
I myself was married earlier.....years ago. I was born and raised in the south and raised a Southern Baptist....so for many years I tried my best to change that inner struggle within myself...I couldn't. So two children later...I finally decided to be myself...and I did. I have been out now for about 18 years and I wouldn't change it. You have all the answers inside yourself...the decisions are never easy ones but what I can tell you is if you are meant to be with a woman you will find out on your own...take your time and be patient with yourself. Big hugs to you and if you need to talk...I'm around. Take good care.
Hugs,
Linda _________________ a poets heart is never empty....
Linda Bray
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