It is interesting, when we think of who we are as individuals. There are things about ourselves that we take great pride in, and other things that we dont.
I've been out now six and a half months. It's been great, and not so great. I have great pride in being gay. Why? I guess because it is something that I cannot change, so I might as well embrace it. Although it took me three years to come to terms with it, this part of me feels so natural. Being with women, loving them, admiring them, having crushes.
I am 22, and I was born with a profound deafness in both ears. I function very well, and wear a hearing aid in my left ear. Like being gay, this is something I cannot change. But I have very little pride in being deaf. For me its almost a source of shame. Well, it has been for a large part of my life.
My point is that I find it interesting that something I have lived with for only six months gives me more pride, than 22 years with a hearing aid ever will.
Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:06 am
GreenEyedKiss Moderators
Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 682
Location: Barony of the Angels in the Kingdom of Caid.
Pride,
First, Congrats on coming out! I hope you find what you are looking for. Second, Any physical difference you may have does not make you who you are... that should not hinder you from having a sense of pride in being you.
I like you for who you are, hearing or not hearing.. makes no never mind to me. As long as you have come to terms with it, then so should the rest of the world. You are a wonderful person, and Im proud to know you.
Green _________________ "I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm getting it done." ~ADM
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others remains immortal"
Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:20 am
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Sapphic,
I think this post has been the most thought provoking for me here in a long time. As I was reading, something struck me...not sure what it is yet though because there layers of the post itself that are deeper.
If I may here...one of my perceptions of your post is the trying to attribute loss with pride. I don't think there is a comparison although acceptance and shame may have been a working through process with both aspects of your life.
For me personally, I don't have a sense of 'pride' being a lesbian and now that I think about it it seems that it came about (gay pride) to replace the negative perceptions the world or ourselves may have about it...replacing shame or guilt or whatever. So what I am hearing you say is that, your sense of shame because of your hearing loss has been extremely difficult for you to work through internally. And you are not alone...I have my area's of life that seem near impossible to reconcile the embodied shame based area of my life (self perceived) with acceptance, grace and peace.
Even for that alone...the struggle, I am feeling encouraged by the mere presence of this post. The sence of being alive in such a vast array of emotions, thoughts and commonality of internal struggles, them having slowed to sit under a lamp post for the while...well I am glad you allowed me this sitting with you. I hope you find what you need~
Dance~
Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:25 am
blissed
Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 36
Location: Wiltshire, England
Below is a link to a picture of Johnny Ray. A 50s singer who wore a hearing aid.
Look at the way the girl in the bottom left is looking at him. All the other girls wanted him too, and he wasn't that much to look at either. They wanted his personality that was expressed by his music, and that's just as true of people today. I think the extreme minority of people that would disrespect you because your deaf aren't worth your attention, and I think of all the people I know, even the one's who are homophobic or racist, would agree with me too.
Sapphic~
Hun your post is not only thought provoking it is inspirational as well.I admire your courage in being honest with your feelings about these 2 things in your life ,just sharing that alone is admirable.I wanted to thank you for sharing some of your story with us.You should be proud of who you are in all ways...this is a life long process we all face to learn to except ourselves for who we are...with every beautiful flaw we were given.I strongly believe that when we can learn to except and love who we are in each way it opens a door for others to love us.Someone once asked me this quesiton: "How can others love you when you do not love yourself"?I put alot of thought into that...and your post reminded me of that and inspired me to remember to feel a sense of pride you could say with who I am in many ways.Take care hun and continue to share with us,it is a gift...Good luck to you and your journey of love and exceptance...
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
