Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Something to make you laugh
LITTLE TONY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."
"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal , replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
LITTLE TONY ON MATH
Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father ?
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.
"But that's right !" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"
"What's the fucking difference ?" asks the father.
"That's what I said !"
LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"
TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LI! TTLE TON Y ON GRAMMAR
Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"
LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the te acher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael !" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful !'"
LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"
Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."'
And on that, brat will sign off
Feel free to post more funny's and keep the thread going and a good spot to just visit and brighten each other's day. _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:13 am
Allison
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 4216
Location: Florida
LMAO Thanks I needed those! _________________ Alli
Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:17 am
shayachr
Joined: 14 Jun 2005
Posts: 98
Location: Cold Washington and it's getting Colder
Oh my god! That was great. I really needed that especially after my weekend. Thanks.
Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:01 am
Sprout
Joined: 26 Aug 2005
Posts: 130
Location: Upstate NY
LMAO!! Thanks for posting that one Brat! that was funny! _________________ 51% Sweetheart, 49% Bitch...Don't Push It!
Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:24 am
beautifullyjaded
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 289
Location: lost in love
*Falling out of her chair in spasms of laughter*
Holy shit, brat, where did you find these? They were so hilarious I called my mom (in a whole nother state halfway across the country) to tell her. That one about masturbation had her laughing so hard she dropped the phone in the sink! Those are brilliant.
*Still not able to regain composure*
Bj _________________ You've jaded me and that's beautiful
*************
There is no such thing as normal
Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:23 am
femmevirgo
Joined: 20 Apr 2005
Posts: 339
Location: East Coast
Ha Ha Cute brat! We can always count on you to find things like this to make us laugh! _________________ Even the most fragile energy can create THUNDER!
Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:54 pm
blissed
Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 36
Location: Wiltshire, England
What's he going to be like when he grows up?
Last edited by blissed on Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:23 pm
blissed
Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 36
Location: Wiltshire, England
Thanks for posting Brat. those were excellent.
I've just dicovered smilies, there gonna take over my posts I think.
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Cute brat! We can always count on you to find things like this to make us laugh!
