I came out several months ago to my family and my father took it okay and said he still loved me, my sister is cool with it those are her words im cool with it, my mother doesnt speak about it at all. When I came out to them all, i moved 2 and half hours away the week after. I have only visited once and that was two months ago. I have the chance to go see them all this weekend I have it off from work. But I am really hesitant cause I feel that they are judging me constantly for being gay. And my sister constantly wants to talk about it which freaks me out even more than my mom not wanting to talk about it. I dont like them knowing that I am gay, I dont know why. I can tell anyone here where i live compelte stangers and all. Half of the people i work with know and it doesnt bother me at all, so why does it bother me that my family knows?
Is anyone else like this? I mean will it change in time? Cause I want to see my family and everything but i feel so awkward when I am around them and even talkign on the phone with my sister is creepy to me when she talks about lesbians i dont know why. I am so uncomfortable talking to her about it.
so what I want to know does this mean i am ashamed of who i am?
Marie
Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:49 am
jezzie
Joined: 01 Oct 2004
Posts: 58
i dont think so. maybe you feel like you betrayed them or sth. your mum probably need a litle more time to accept it, but if they took it well when you came out you have nothing to worry about. give them a chance and spend some time with them. they are still your fammily. and try to talk with your sister about it. she is just curious. nothing wrong with it.
good luck
Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:24 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
good answer and i agree.
Sounds like not only does your family, especially your sister, need some more time to "get used to the idea" and satisfy curiosity... BUT, it also sounds like you need more time to get used to the idea of them knowing and accepting you...... Relax, i know that's not easy. But they love you and you love them, now everybody has to get comfortable with you, including you around them... Go visit. Did i feel that way? I think so but it was so long ago i'm not certain anymore. After 30 years of being who i am, its just the way things are and everybody is very comfortable with me being a lesbian. So much so, its not an issue anymore, its just a simple truth. _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:29 am
MelaBaby
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 54
Marie, sweetie....Count your lucky stars that they are even allowing you into their home at this point. I came out to my family 6 months ago....and my Father has still not spoken a word to me (he is highly religious, telling me I am "Walking a path with Satan") and my mother has only talked me me in Messenger a total of TWICE since I came out.
I think the others are right about your sister being curious....You could always look at her and say "Sis, I understand your curiousity, but this is making me a little uncomfortable right now." I am sure she would understand.
Yes, I think you will get past this, hun....You will get used to not being what they have seen you as for so many years. _________________ My Friends call me Mela
Coming out to our immediate family can indeed be difficult. Give yourself time to get used to what you have said to them--and they Need the time--to figure it out, too. But ashamed? An internal homophobia? Yes there may be a bit of that. But maybe it is just a need to not feel so personally isolated from people who are very close to you. Needing to defend yourself and answer questions--being put on the spot--these are complicated and emotionally draining times. In spite of that--glad you Are able to let them know how important your orientation is, and for the most part-glad they accept you for this.
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