Firstly I'm really sorry for not formely introducing myself but I don't think it's worth waisting the space. I have been around the board's for a while now just reading & thinking of how wonderful you all seem here. I kinda wish sometimes that I were someone else in another place & not really me. I know that I'm not the only one who has been through rough times or had rough times, but when you're feeling down & low & feel like a waisted breath of air it kinda gets to you!! I just feel so darn low at the moment. I have cried my eyes out & questioned just about everything that I have done just lately. I don't know if this is just a stage I'm going through or just simply depression. I feel so darn alone & on my own. I try to find a darn good reason to get outta bed sometimes & can't find one so I just sleep the time away to pass the hours away. But I must admit I log in here alot when I'm feelin low & read some of the messages & they kinda boost me up a little. I'm not refering to reading other peoples problems & getting lifted up by someone elses unhappiness, i'm talking about the happier things here on the boards. Thank you to everyone for keeping me going!!!
Sat Jul 23, 2005 5:15 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
((((alone)))))
Warm, safe hugs.
Depression can be a *itch. Hang in there~
Dance~
Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:01 am
wyldhart
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Posts: 1216
Alone~
...your not...alone I hope everything works itself out, babe....and yes..I do agree with Dance..Depression is a *itch...
hey....a silly joke to leave you with...
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on
or off?"
See..I said it was silly...
take care, babe
warm tender hugs
wyld _________________ "wyld in the darkest places of your mind"
Sun Jul 24, 2005 8:54 am
alone
Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 2
Hey Wyld & dance thank you very much for your kind words & support. I'm trying so very hard to deal with the state I'm in but it just doesn't seem to be working so well. Every time I feel that I'm getting somewhere & start feeling good about myself someone comes along & just knocks me right off my feet again. I feel really worthless sometimes i really do. Please don't think that I'm gonna do something silly ladies, I got too much to live for. I'm trying to cope with alot of mixed up emotions at the moment. I've not long come out & feel so alone. My friends are really great about me finally coming out & everything but, one of my closest friends I seem to have lost as a result of this. Since I have told her & her Husband she has been very nasty towards me. She comes out with very sly & horrible derogatory remarks about me & my sexuality. I went out with her & her family for dinner to someone elses house & she got drunk & actually hit me. I've come out to my folks & now I'm looked down upon. My folks told me that i was not brought up like that & can't understand me now. Thet tell me that i don't know what I want in life. but I know deep down inside that I'm happy with being a Lesbian. I just want to share my happiness but feel so alone & on my own now. I guess I'll just have to soldier on the best way I know how to!!
Sun Jul 24, 2005 2:21 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Lifting my sister Alone up and dusting you off. Looking you in the eyes, smiling, you my dear have to live your life your own way. Yes, it hurts to lose friends, and have family not understand;however, if you let it knock you down they will see it as a fact that being a lesbian is wrong and ruining your life, not realizing of course that their stunted emotions are what is knocking you down, not who you choose to have sex with.
Deeeeep breath, go out and do something for yourself. If you're into sports, do something physical, if it's the arts, do something artsy. Write, sing, open your heart to the Goddess within you and embrace life without looking back!
You are beautiful and will be fine.
Love n hugs,
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:47 pm
redangel
Joined: 12 Jan 2005
Posts: 139
Location: texas
hello
hi alone
I hope things are more cheerful for you now
I just wanted to wish you well and hope your
life gets better.. but I think to deny your nature
would make you feel worse so stick to your guns ..
and chin up.. peace to you truely wished tina
Wed Aug 10, 2005 1:15 am
LoriSue
Joined: 25 Jul 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Canada
Hi Alone,
I don't know where you live but would you have access to either mental health counselling or, at the very least, a gay / lesbian support group for those who are coming out? The internet is a great resource for finding such things. When I came out, I had two children - one who was a teenager and had lived my life as a straight woman in a very small town. Within days after coming out, I lost my best friend of 25 years as her husband would no longer "let her" be my friend. It is very hard to deal with the bias and prejudice that exists but you will find your peace as you see how much happier life is when you are true to yourself!! :) I moved away from that town and have found happiness with my partner in this new place with our children. Life is great and will be for you but it is an adjustment. Try looking for that counselor as that can make all the difference in the world!
This is one of the most supportive sites I have experienced yet. The women care for you and are there to support everyone. Hang in there and let the caring heal you! You DESERVE happiness!
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I hope everything works itself out, babe....and yes..I do agree with Dance..Depression is a *itch...
