This is more of a story, but I don't care, stories are just long
threads anyway, plus this one's true. There is a question at
the very end, and I really need some answers...
I've gone from sheer joy to gut rot in less than 24 hours.
I was overjoyed a couple of nights ago at work when, in the midst of
a lonely smoke break under a breathtaking sunset , the apple of
my eye, my goddess-in-the-rough came out and sat close to me.
This is a woman who is gorgeous and doesn't know it. This is a
woman who works 60 hour weeks. This is a woman who deserves
the best and I want to give it to her. This is the woman who I
want to satisfy, and who I am just getting to know.
So we sat alone, close, under the sunset. I made her laugh,
she made me burn. Do you know how hard it was _not_ to
kiss her? Not to fall in to her disarmingly sexy voice? Not to tell
her that, through all the sweat and dust, I see the most gorgeous
woman EVER?
Needless to say, the rest of the night flew by. As does every other night
that we share the same shift. She makes going to work tolerable.
Without her, my job is a fucking nightmare.
So I get to work the next night, looking forward to seeing her again.
But she's not there. The hours toll by, and nobody knows where she is.
My boss comes walking in with a couple of male teenaged ass-clowns,
and tells me that I'm to train them. Where's <you-know-who>, I ask.
The answer: she quit.
Not sure if 'centrifugal vertigo' aptly describes my condition for the rest of
the night (and into this morning), but it's something like that. My anchor's
fallen deep down into Lake Bummed Out. I wish it had taken me with it.
I still don't know what happened, she'd been working there for four years
and was an excellent worker. She didn't say anything about it to me. Fuck.
Now I'm feeling all weird and bummed that I didn't get to boldly tell
her how beautiful she is. I FEEL THE NEED TO DO SO. Part of this comes
from my crush on her, and part from the fact that I'm an artist and so I
get hung up on that shit ("beauty") _all the time_. A Romantic, they say.
Should I be bold and just tell her?
Should I call her? I don't have her number, and so for sure that would
take her by surprise.
A letter?
To be clear, I don't expect to start dating her. I just want to tell her
she's beautiful and _that's it_.
My only hook at this point is that her daughter works at the same place.
I really don't want to involve her, of course.
What the fuck do I do? Cut my ear off?
Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:47 pm
leguan
Joined: 29 May 2005
Posts: 126
Location: Austria
Dear Freyja,
if I were you, I would “use” her daughter as my “Postillon d’amour” . Let her deliver a note to her mother, in which you tell her how sorry you feel that she quitted, and that you liked to stay “in touch” with her and that you would enjoy it very much if it would be possible to meet sometime ... Leave her your address, so that she can contact you ... but make sure, that she gets the note!
Don’t you know where she lives? You could also meet her “just by chance” – lie in wait for her - Be sure to carry something (a shopping basket or whatever) to tell a story why you are around ...
“Run Baby!”
Leguan
Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:27 pm
Floridagirl
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 43
Location: Florida
Dear Freyja,
Wow! I'm sorry this has happened to you. But, for what it's worth, here's my advice: I am hopelessly, madly STILL in love with my vet . . . and still in my relationship of 5 years even though we "broke up" on Fri. and decided to try to work it out. I have things to resolve that's for sure, and a partner who is willing to work with me on those issues. However, here's the deal - I told my vet how I felt for her, and was turned down. I think I was only turned down because I'm in a relationship (and she'd been there done that, didn't work). Still, I sometimes wish I had kept my mouth shut.
The crux of the matter is this - you have to weigh the pain you have now with the possible pain of telling this woman how you feel and being turned down. Which is greater? Only you can decide.
Thu Jun 30, 2005 4:24 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Fre,
Read the response to your other post by the way...
Ok I will say, take a chance...tell her daughter that you would like to get in touch with her and ask how to do so? Make friends, be open to deny your needs and desires and be just a friend. Without that there is nothing else as loyal or true. Come what may, can you handle that? There is your answer.
Hugs
Dance~
Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:37 am
Freyja
Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 11
Thanks you three.
I found out last night that she didn't quit after all. Much worse.
She has been deported from Canada back to her country. She
leaves in two days.
Hard to describe how sad I am for her. I worked with her step-daughter
last night and she was saying that her mom's very upset. And that
she likely won't be returning to Canada ever.
I can't make sense in my head of how this shit happens. She literally
worked 50-60 hours a week here for three years straight. And as with
all of us, a portion of each of her hard-earned paycheques went towards
supporting all the bottom-sucking welfare maggots we have here in
Ontario, aka the Welfare State. And the gov't just throws her out? Fuck that.
I will never see her again. I get to operate her old machine instead.
Crying,
Freyja
p.s. I wrote a "poem" about her and put it under "My Girl". It goes like this:
Theresa,
My heart tips
In the wake
Left by your name.
My palms and tens
Feel you in everything
But you.
In your gust
I'm left to blush,
Tasting of you
What I can.
How gustly you'd gasp
In my ten-fold caress,
My tongue tip
Waking your wake.
How found you'd be,
Rescued, returned -
Take it
From this woman.
Sat Jul 02, 2005 1:25 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Oh hun
I am so sorry this has happened. Your poem is beautiful. You never know what things can happen. I am sure her daughter will be working to bring her back home.
Many hugs to you and them,
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:33 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
(((frej)))
Just huggin you~
Dance~
Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:12 pm
wyldhart
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Posts: 1216
(((Freyja)))
not much to say, babe...that really suxs. your write..rocks....i think you should somehow give this to her before she goes......
wishing you well, babe
warm tender hugs
wyld _________________ "wyld in the darkest places of your mind"
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FAQ
Profile PM's 
. Let her deliver a note to her mother, in which you tell her how sorry you feel that she quitted, and that you liked to stay “in touch” with her and that you would enjoy it very much if it would be possible to meet sometime ... Leave her your address, so that she can contact you ... but make sure, that she gets the note!
- Be sure to carry something (a shopping basket or whatever) to tell a story why you are around ...
Leguan
