I don't know most of you very well, but I feel comfortable sharing my feelings here after reading how much you really do care and support each other and lift each other up when needed.
A few days ago, my girlfriend and I got in a fight, again. Big one. She has some serious issues, and for the last 2 years, it's just been getting harder for me to deal with them... but I do because I love her. We have 'episodes' about twice a week.
She's getting therapy, but I just don't see any positive results. She has severe insecurities, separation anxieties, jealousy issues, she talks herself into seeing things, she is an only child of alcoholic parents, she was abused, raped... We've tried different therapists, but still... the same behavior. Every time I think I can't take it anymore, I picture my life without her, and I get sad. But it's affecting my kids as well, and I can't let that keep happening either.
Everyone tells me that I should end the relationship, but I don't believe that is how to solve the problem; or maybe it is. My heart tells me this is the woman of my dreams, the one I will spend the rest of my life with. My mind tells me this is harmful.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I need encouragement to keep going, or some advice about how to actively seek help on how to solve the problem.
Thanks for listening.
Thu May 19, 2005 12:07 am
wyldhart
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Posts: 1216
laquer...babe...i can't offer too much as i haven't been in this situation before and i don't have children....i can lend a ear..and a shoulder..and support. You should follow your heart, but also, you have children to think about, so you have to weigh that. You have to do what is not only right for you, but for everyone involved. Friends are a great source of support, but they also can be too close to the situation. It all comes down to you, babe. I've broken off a few relationships due to the fact that they made my soul and spirit suffer...my heart..well, it always heals..that is the beauty of it...but it takes much longer if for the soul and spirit to be reborn and nourished once again. And i refuse to live my life with regrets, after all..it is my life..i have that freedom of choice..you on the other hand, have to think about not only what is right for you, but for your children. I hope your journey is serene and that it all works out. Keep me posted.
warm hugs
wyld _________________ "wyld in the darkest places of your mind"
Thu May 19, 2005 9:21 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Lacquer,
Safe, warm hugs (and also to you wyld). When the head and the heart do battle, it is an awesome battle indeed. Though I cared for my ex, it was also a relief to let the fighting and high stress go after we broke up (which is not what I am suggesting, I am only sharing here). Now from a distance I have a greater perspective and I know I made the right decision for my head, heart and my kids. Living in constant choas does no one any good.
If you're living in that constant, it wears on everything leaving one emotionally drained. That is not a healthy place to be, or happy for that matter. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Whatever direction you go in, I hope for you the very best hun. Your are right, something needs change but we can only change ourselves.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
