and I don't know what to do now. She knows i'm in relationship and my gf since we share a flat for over a year (even i live there only weekends, it's quite a lot of weekends), we have some friends in comon... so maybe we could say that we are friends, not just flatmates. Just friends!
I'm sure that I didn't send any signals or whatsoever she could misinterpret. I don't even see her attractive besides the fact I'm in a relationship for more than 4 years!!!
and jesterday she told me (over msn) that she is in love with me for some time, that she must have me.. I told her that that's not going to happen and why. She just couldn't take no for an answer. At the end, she told me my gf doesn't to know anything, that she'll keep the secret! WTF???
if anyone has any experience in this, please help. I'm close to tell her she'll have to leave the appartment if she doesn't stop with this.
My gf is in Spain and will not return for 2 or 3 months.. I can't tell her that now not to upset her.
and the reason I'm so upset is that she is third girl that went completely craizy about me (I'm not over exaggerating) and couldn't take no for an answer, even my NO is quite clear. the first two made me some sh*** in life for not wanting to be with them. like revenge or sth.
sick of it allready...
tell me if I'm the one who is craizy for hating this situations..
Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:51 am
pharos
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 583
Location: Australia
You're not crazy. My advice is this:
1) Tell your gf asap what's going on, so that she knows exactly where you stand on this and because it's pretty fishy that this flatmate asks you not to tell her anything and keep this a "secret" (!). It's best your gf's holiday in Spain is a bit spoiled than her coming over and wondering what happened while she was away and mistrusting you. Her first question will be: "Why didn't you tell me right away?" Tell her exactly what has happened because the distance might cause a lot of misunderstandings and she will feel lost and unable to do anything from so far away.
2) Kick the flatmate out of your apartment. If she doesn't respect your relationship and your "no" as an answer to her wanting you, you don't want to be sharing the same roof with someone like that.
3) If you survived the previous attempts of revenge from women, you will survive this one too (if it goes down that way) so don't sweat it and don't be afraid.
Good luck with everything.
Pharos
Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:03 am
fortheloveofagood... Site Admin
Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 2216
Location: loves land of plenty
Hi Jezzie,
I agree with everything that Pharos has said... and will add...
You can't control how someone else feels about you or what they say or do. But you do have control over how you deal with this situation and what your response is.
So repeating the sound advice you have just received from Pharos.
Tell your girlfriend everything, explain that you didn't want to spoil her holiday, but best to explain everything now and then get a new flatmate.
In addition... Treat this other woman with the respect you'd wish to be treated with, because even though she is speaking about being deceitful she may be coming from a place of desperation. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, but stay firm in your No. Just explain you think it is in her best interests that you don't live together, so that she can have space from you. Thank her for being honest with you, and hope that this will help her move on.
As for this not being the first time someone has 'fallen' for you - that is to do with you. You may have to look inside of yourself and reflect on whether there is a pattern forming in the way you relate. But deal with this situation first, before learning from it and/or working on not being in this situation again.
All the best
Kx _________________ -----------------------------------------------------
'don't hate your enemies, it clouds your judgement'
~peace comes from knowing only love is real~
Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:43 am
pharos
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 583
Location: Australia
yeah, I forgot the "treating her with respect" part that K added...
It's true what Plato says:
Be kind, for everyone you meet, is fighting a hard battle.
We should always try and remember that.
Thanks, K.
x
Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:51 am
jezzie
Joined: 01 Oct 2004
Posts: 58
ok, i think problem is solved. i told her that i'll kick her out if i hear or see anything like that one more time.
I also spoke to my girls best friend. she told me that it's the best that i don't tell her anything just jet, to wait till she gets back. they are like sisters... so i trust her judgement on this. my gf works in spain, she is not on hollyday..
i'll keep you updated.
thanks for tips. I treated my flatmate with respect and I was totaly pleasant when I told her what's next
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
