Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Paris (France) / NYC
Homophobia
Ok, dunno how to start this...
At the begining of my classes session it was maybe one or two month after i said to two people i think i could trust that i was gay. They were ok with this but i also told them not to say that to anyone else in the classroom cause there are some people i don't like and that i knew it could be a problem.
But one guy just said it anyway to one of the big ass (sorry about the word) of my class... He said he didn't do it on purpose... it was like silly regardless that i told him not to say anyhting. Anyway he is just silly.
Then i was surprised cause it seemed ok.
But recently the ass started to say stupid things like asking me if i had sex with one of my classmate and stuff like that so i did take it in the "funny" way in order not to argue. But last tuesday, he asked me if i wanted him to introduce me to girls and i told him to take care of his business wich he didn't like so i said he would hit me and stuff like that so i told him to come...
Anyway, i was upset, so i decided to left for the end of the class (it was the last one of the day)
I was so afraid about harrasment or stuff like that. The day after i went back to classes and nothing happened so i feel better.
But I just don't get it. Why do people have to be so f** silly about this?
Anyway just needed to burst out. _________________ Ale
Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:52 pm
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
sometimes ... when people don't understand, rather than simply express their lack of knowledge, they respond with the only information they do have which is also lacking ... its a learning curve ... you learn as you go, making mistakes ... they learn as they go, making mistakes .... we must teach - and if we cannot teach with words, then we must teach with our living ... i appreciate your fear and therefore handling the "ass" with humor, but you also could have responded with "no thank, you" and simply have left it at that .... you could also very pleasantly, without more explicit emotion have said, "i find no humor in your chaffing" ...
people are people ... and some will never understand as you want them to understand and accept - which is as they would accept and understand "one of their own" ..... why not? because you are not "one of their own" in their eyes - you are different and in your difference, they somehow feel challenged or threatened - i don't quite know what they honestly feel because they don't express themselves with honesty ...
find a support group in your area and share your thoughts and fears with them - they too are of your neighborhood (so to speak) ... and have likely encountered the same public attitude, together you can develop your response and comfort zone ....
one last comment - you have every right in the world to have a bit of fear... unfortunately .... people who will hurt you and us for being who we are DO exist ... and again, locating a local support group is a wise place to develop skills for those encounters too _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Fri Feb 13, 2009 2:28 pm
nobodysangel
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 429
Location: TN
just my opinion
I've always admired Caves advice. She has helped me on numerous occasions with her advice. I don't think I can add anymore than what she has said. Not to scare you or anything just be careful if your last class of the day is at night. You never know what some prick and his guy friends are thinking or would even try to do. Bad things happen to women every day. I had my own awful experience last July. It happened because I said I was a lesbian and in love with my fiancee. If your last class is at night, have a friend or campus security walk you to your car. sorry I got off topic. Remembering my past has made me angry and it was coming out in this post. Sorry. Good luck in your classes. What are you taking? I'm taking 2 online classes right now.. A beautiful woman that I once knew always told me to be careful who you tell that you are gay. I never thought much of what she said until July. After that oh boy..here I go off topic again!!! Good luck and best wishes..
***This post edited for content*** Green _________________ Riding the single train, and loving every minute!!
Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:13 pm
Alemona
Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Paris (France) / NYC
Thank you girls for your advices.
Don't worry nobody it's ok if you offtopic here And that's not really off topic.
The area where i have my classes is not safe at all but i don't go back home very late so that makes it ok.
And the guy who said he would hit me is only talking he is not "brave" at all. _________________ Ale
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sorry I got off topic. Remembering my past has made me angry and it was coming out in this post. Sorry. Good luck in your classes. What are you taking? I'm taking 2 online classes right now.. A beautiful woman that I once knew always told me to be careful who you tell that you are gay. I never thought much of what she said until July. After that oh boy..here I go off topic again!!! Good luck and best wishes.. 
And that's not really off topic.
