Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 955
Location: Iowa City, IA
...
... _________________ “It would be a pity of lesbians and gay men retreated into the same kind of cultural separatism. " - Jeanette Winterson
www[dot]bdecauntetonspoetry[dot]webs[dot]com
Last edited by BdeCaunteton on Sun Sep 27, 2020 8:54 am; edited 1 time in total
Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:25 pm
Cyg
Joined: 12 Sep 2008
Posts: 64
Location: USA
I'm sorry to read that your mother is unable to support you in your life decisions.
I admire your courage in living your own life as you see fit, rather then trying to fit someone else idea of a paper perfect life stile.
And being a Materials scientist I can tell you, paper is most prone to fire and easily dissolvable in water. So if there is any kind of life stile you should try to mold yourself too, make it high strength ductile iron. Strong enough to hold together in tough times, but flexible enough that there is no sudden breaking.
*hugs*
-Cyg _________________ "Shoot for the stars and you will never fall short of the moon"
Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:27 pm
PipSqueak
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England
((B))
A friend and I both have extremely vocal strongminded mothers and we've come to the conclusion that we need to find a big cupboard to lock them in and let them wear each other out instead of us. I'll up the dimensions if you want and we'll let you know where we put it. We're checking out desert islands, do you want to come with us and test out locations???
It took 36 years before I finally heard my mum say she was proud of me. My lil sis says Mum isn't so bad and I just don't hear everything!!!
Maybe something at home wound her up, but it's probably cos you're doing something that she just doesn't understand why and (more importantly from her point of view) she can't stop you from doing something she thinks will upset you so she's frustrated and worried about you. Shame they can't do that with a big hug and "I'll be there if it doesn't work out..." like other parents.
Good luck and stay positive
Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:33 pm
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
(((((((((((((((((((Bde)))))))))))))))))))))))
Follow your heart is the best advice I can give you.
I've met some wonderful women via the internet that I would never have met otherwise. Some I've met in person and others I only talk to on IM or via phone. We've shared each others lives just as real as if it we'd lived next door to each other.
There is even some scientific research that says internet relationships have as much chance at lasting as traditional relationships. People are looking outside of traditional places to find their partners. Alot of people used to date within their work place but that becomes complicated when things don't work out . The internet gives people more options.
Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 2216
Location: loves land of plenty
huh? maybe she doesn't 'know' your dad, because she presumes people are fixed and you will get to some end point of 'knowing' - how boring! How linear.
Where is the exploration in that, it says more about how she relates, not the mechanism through which we choose to relate and in this case judge.
If your mom feels the need to rubbish the way you choose to do things, throw her back some love I would say...
Mom, i am so glad you are learning new things about dad after 27 years, does that fill you with excitement, gratitude, joy? I would be genuinely interested to know... As for debating, no, i would much prefer the less combatative style of open trusting communication... then maybe i will be able to say how i feel, and actually be heard. I won't give up on that day coming...
with love and some sadness
Bde x
~ that's my reaction bde, her closed mind - excludes her... i feel sorry for her that she can't respect you and let you be yourself and love you for it.
Kx
Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:52 am
desert-fish
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted
Bde,
I did give "other options" a try...
It went against my grain, and it felt all wrong but
I went against my intuition
I went against my feelings
I went against my heart
It remains the one thing in life I absolutely regret doing
so follow your heart....
....and be free
hugs
desert-fishy
Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:41 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
you are NOT happy with the choices you are making?
where did she get that idea? or is it just her denial?
whatever: We are born to be ourselves and that doesn't necessarily mean that "it" fits anybody's idea of right other than our own...
there's only one way to "grow up"... and a HUGE majority of that entails making our own choices and sticking to them... (otherwise known as a commitment)...
be yourself...
AS.... your mom is being herself...
TRUE to our natures...
and that's it!
the rest is just a bunch of words.... _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:26 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
B,
If you don't mind me asking, what was the context of this e-mail? Why would she write about "asking for lies" or feel so strongly about not being able to get to know someone over the Internet?
~Eilidh
Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:05 am
charliegirl
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: Queensland Australia
I meet my girlfriend over the internet. We spoke online for a couple of months and then moved onto the phone. We havent been together for to long yet, 3 months and been speaking for say 6 all in all. I live in a small town so for me the internet was really the only way I was ever going to find someone.
My mum hates who I am, always has done. She has known for about 6 years now and is trying at long last to understand me. When she heard about my gf, she said there is no way I could fall for someone online! She thought as we hadnt meet that I was insane to be falling for her already. Now we have meet and are dating she is getting better with it. Some times all thats needed is time. How much time is needed is another thing!
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