Well, this is my problem, and i need to know if any of you can help me. Ok, here goes. I live at home with my mom. I have been a lesbian for sometime now but i have never told her that i was. The other day we started talking a little bit about it and i finally told her that i was a lesbian. My mom FREAKED I didn't know what else to do but sit there and let her think about it for a little bit. Well, that is not the problem. The real problem is, later on that day my mom came up to me while i was in my room and wanted to talk to me about it. we sat down and talked about it for a couple hours and i told her everything. My mom is now very supportive of me and told me she would love me no matter what. Well, my mom also told me that she has also been interested in other women as well for some time now and has just never told me about it. She told me she has never been with another female. My mom out of nowhere asked me if i would have sex with her to help her found out if she likes it or not. I do not know how to respond to her. I love her with all my heart and i am willing to do anything for her but that. i am affraid that if i tell her no she is going to think that i don't love her. what can i do please if you have any advice please help me out. And please this is a real question. i am not doing this as a joke i really need to know what to do. please help me.
Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:28 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
Jessi...
This is a very serious situation and one I hope you can talk through with someone close by to you that you trust. Her asking you is a great offense to you and disrespecting your worth and diginity. You in no way have to degrade yourself for anyone. Showing yourself and her love would be to step back from her, get support and help for yourself and then let her be responsible for her own disfunction here. This is not something a loving mom asks of her children ever or ever imposes themselves on any children. Unfortunately though it does happen out there and I think when a parent does that, they lose the right to be called a parent at all. It is not only criminal but demoralizing. And you are worth so much more, your life holds great value. I hope you can choose true strength and love for yourself and get support.
(((hugs to you))))
Dance~
Mon Nov 08, 2004 9:59 pm
Tigger Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 890
Hi Jessi
I quite agee with everything Dance says ....do not degrade yourself to this level.
If your Mum loves you and supports you as she has said.. she will realise that what she has asked of you is wrong.
Be strong and look after yourself.
Tigs
Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:57 pm
jlybn57
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 15
Location: Kansas City metro area
Hi Jessi. I agree with what the others said. Please realize that this is inappropriate for your other to ask of you! Think of it like this...if a father figure asked the same thing...most people would consider that abuse! The same is true here - she is still an "authority" figure for you and is attempting to pursuade you into something you do not want. I am not saying your mother is intentionally trying to harm you (because I do not know her or the situation first hand), but you and she both need to realize that this is an inappropriate proposition. I hope that you two can work this out. I also hope that you can find someone to talk to about this in person. Good luck! _________________ "There is nothing mixed up about a woman who loves women, who wants to have sex with them, or who identifies as a lesbian. It is society that is mixed up because it punishes people for not conforming to its gender stereotypes."
~ Edward Stein
i can't really say much that hasn't already been said. and i do hate being redundant. but know that there are people (even those you don't know well) are out there and support you. whether this be through mental, physical, spiritual, material, or whatever...keep your chin up mate.
the situation you're in sounds a mite complicated so keep a cool head, a steady heart, and don't do anything just to please your mother. it's your body, it's your life, and she doesn't have the right to ask such a proposition of you.
~chance _________________ Timing is everything...unfortunately I'm too early or too late.
Tue Nov 09, 2004 8:07 pm
Jessibabe
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 9
Location: Idaho
Thanks
First of all i want to thank all of you that were able to respond so fast with such great advice. So thank you to all of you. I look to all of you like my new best friends now. I talked with my mom and told her that i was not going to do anything of the sort. I told her that i loved her and i would do anything she wanted but that. She told me she understood and that is was not right of her to ask such a thing. I am glad i was able to get some good advice from all of you and for that i think it made things a little easier when i talked with her on this matter. Again thanks to everyone of you. I hope that we can stay in touch and that we can always help eachother out. Hugs and kisses to everyone of you so thanks. Jessi.
Mon Nov 15, 2004 5:06 pm
DanceofSorrows
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837
((Jessie))
I am so proud of you, even have a tear in my eye now. You choose courage and strength, of course I am honored to be your friend.
Dance~
Mon Nov 15, 2004 6:39 pm
Tigger Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 890
Jessie
Glad to hear you spoke with your Mum....well done you did well!
Take good care
Tigs
Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:15 am
jlybn57
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 15
Location: Kansas City metro area
I'm proud of you!!!! *hug* _________________ "There is nothing mixed up about a woman who loves women, who wants to have sex with them, or who identifies as a lesbian. It is society that is mixed up because it punishes people for not conforming to its gender stereotypes."
~ Edward Stein
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
I didn't know what else to do but sit there and let her think about it for a little bit. Well, that is not the problem. The real problem is, later on that day my mom came up to me while i was in my room and wanted to talk to me about it. we sat down and talked about it for a couple hours and i told her everything. My mom is now very supportive of me and told me she would love me no matter what. Well, my mom also told me that she has also been interested in other women as well for some time now and has just never told me about it. She told me she has never been with another female. My mom out of nowhere asked me if i would have sex with her to help her found out if she likes it or not. I do not know how to respond to her. I love her with all my heart and i am willing to do anything for her but that. i am affraid that if i tell her no she is going to think that i don't love her. what can i do 
please if you have any advice please help me out. And please this is a real question. i am not doing this as a joke i really need to know what to do. please help me.
Jessie
