One of the hardest things I have ever done was give up my relationship with my male partner of 3 years to embark on a relationship with a female.
Aside from family issues, I had joint friend issues, joint work place issues (that the three of us worked in!) and also incredible doubts and apprehension. The only thing that was in anyway certain was my overwhelming feelings that She evoked.
I had to think long and hard about what I truly wanted. I couldn't work it out, by speculating alone. I had to make a decision - a life time of comfort, contentment, stability and, ultimately, boredom; or a life of excitement, passion, uncertainty and frought with obstacles that I'd never have to face living with a man.
I have never looked back. It took me a wee while to say that I was gay or admit that I fancied girls, but I can't deny it when each night I fall asleep next to her, happy.
It was absolutely terrifying - but I have been rewarded tenfold.
However, almost 3 years on and I am still with holding this monumental change from my dad and many of my work collegues. My mum knows, my papa knows, all my close friends know and are all entirely supportive. But I've dug myself in so deep, by not telling the others that now, when I feel, I need to be entirely open about my life and my future I know I'm going to hurt them so much more than if I have been coreageous enough to deal with it at the time.
I guess I need some advice on how to soften the blow, if there is any!
*Big sigh* I guess I've got no one to blame, but myself. I was so proud my girlfriend as she told everyone, straightout and with tremendous bravery. I don't fear my dad's re-action as I am not ashamed or embarased by any of this, I just don't want to feel 'looked down upon' or anything like that, because I don't feel anyone has the right to do that. But I love them and I don't want to hurt them any more than I'm going to.
Ooops! Didn't mean to ramble on.
Taylor
_________________ "Is is better to have a dream, or to fulfill a dream?"
Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:15 am
findyourpassion
Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Posts: 82
Thanks for your post. I wish I had great advice to offer you, but I don't. I just wanted to say that your post is inspirational to me- the part about deciding to go for it and not looking back because it's worth it in the end. That is what I have to remember.
As for softening the blow, I don't know what to say, except for good luck.
Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:28 am
Taylor
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
Posts: 4
Location: Scotland
It certainly is worth it in the end. Like any relationship ending and a new one starting, there is a lot to cope with, but with patience, strength and ultimately love you can find a way to get through anything.
I know it sounds really naff, and a wee bit cheesy, but it's true! I certainly didn't make it easy for us and I know I hurt her in the begining with my indecision, but we came through!
Thank you for your reply, it's appreciated.
x _________________ "Is is better to have a dream, or to fulfill a dream?"
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Gallery
FAQ
Profile PM's 
