Hi there. I'm just looking for some advice. I've never dated a woman before- I've been to afriad of being out to even consider a relatiionship. That's changing now and I'm feeling ready to date. There's this woman that I'm so crazy about. She is smart and funny and increadably beautiful, inside and out. We're already good friends so I get to spend a lot of time with her, which is great. She just got out of a 6 year realationship a few months ago, and when I told her that I liked her she said that she's not feeling ready to be with women again right now and she's exploring some realationships with men. She said that she really cares about me, but can't have more than a friendship with me right now. I want to respect how she feels, but being around her is tourturous! Last night we were together and kept touching my hands and legs, kissing my forehead and hands, things like that and it was so hard not to just turn around and kiss her. We were lying on the floor and I was playing with her hair and I wanted to tell her how beautiful she is, but then I was afriad that would be crossing some lines too. I don't know. My feelings for her are so strong. For months now I've tried to find reasons not to like her, not to let myself feel this way about her, but I can't change it. I don't know what to do. I want to respect her choice, and I also want to continue to have a close friendship with her, but it feels so hard when I want to be with her as more than a friend. It's hard to spend hours with a woman when all you can think about is how much you want to hold her hand or kiss her, you know?
Last edited by Sar_bear on Sun Oct 29, 2006 3:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:41 pm
ghost
Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA
hi sar, welcome to mels first of all.
secondly, take a look at the coming out forum and elsewhere on the boards, a number of ladies have found themselves in the same position you are in. maybe the advice they got will also be of some comfort to you.
personally, i think if she is allowing you to play with her hair, and she is kissing your hands and stuff, she is sending out signals to you.
positive signals. talk to her again about how you feel, or one night just kiss her softly on the lips. see how she takes it.
good luck!
regards
ghost _________________
MIA
Sat Oct 28, 2006 10:57 pm
Voodoo
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 19
Location: Winnipeg, MB
I agree.. if she's touching you, being near you like that, kissing your forehead I think she's definitely throwing some signals your way. Probably not exactly "sex me up right now!" signals, but she obviously enjoys being very close to you.
I'd personally wait until she does this again, face to face look in her eyes.. if she doesn't pull away just kiss here. Don't stick your tongue down her throat, but plant a nice soft kiss on her lips.
It should be pretty easy to gauge her reaction from there and proceed accordingly. But go slowly! I still dout that she's wanna go too quickly right now. _________________ Goodbye little fox..
Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:19 am
Sar_bear
Joined: 30 Jul 2006
Posts: 6
Thank you both for the advice. I 'm so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want to miss an opportunity to have a relationship with her is there's even the slightest chance of one, but I also don't want to lose a good friendship by making her feel uncomfertable.
I'm relieved to hear that you both thought there was something to all the touching. I'd been trying not to read into it, but... it's so intense. I feel like I'm just going to melt everytime she touches me.
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