Joined: 24 May 2006
Posts: 478
Location: @ home around the globe
About to Happen...
Hi there all,
hum. I think it is about to happen..... i.e. I think I may start peaking outside the closet in "real life" very soon.... possibly within the next 24 or 48 hours.
Will be interesting....... BUT.... I am NOT afraid!!!
It is time, about time.
Cheers you all and BE BRAVE!!!
Footsie _________________ “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:39 am
Sobu-Milkwo
Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Posts: 61
Location: All over the world
Goodluck Footsie with coming out, and keep your cool!
Hi Footsie
Since you are intending to come out within the next 24 to 48 hours, I wish you luck. Keep your cool no matter what happens, no matter how people react. You know that it is a turning point in your life and there will be no turning back. I hope you have friends in real life who support you as well.
Those who really love you, will continue to love you, so don't worry.
Sobu-Milkwo _________________ Life is what we make of it. The power to shape our destiny with the choices we make is the greatest power we human beings have been endowed with - from God. May we let go of the past and create our lives anew every single day.
Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:48 am
Footprint
Joined: 24 May 2006
Posts: 478
Location: @ home around the globe
THANK YOU!!!
Dear Sobu,
thank you VERY MUCH for your post... I very much appreciate your kindness and support. It touched me quite a bit, in fact.
Well... I wasn't really nervous about crawling out before, but now you did make me a bit nervous, lol. But it'll be good, no reason to be nervous, only reason to be happy and brave and content.
The person I will be coming out to is not really a person I would want to share this with first one out on the real life planet. But I have to start somewhere and it is about time to tell him. He has been getting on my nerves for too long and I think it would be just fair/more considerate towards him and his feelings, too. I can be quite sure, though, that a whole bunch of old friends and acquaintances from many years back will know very soon. But I don't care. Not anymore. And I am not afraid. I think I have had enough time now to come to terms with myself...at least for a good bit.
Turning point... probably so. About to find out, I reckon! It is kind of an exciting situation, if you think about it. Not everybody has the privilege to experience this. And I like to be different... I ever wanted to be "normal" (what IS "normal", if I may ask???) in my life!
Friends to support me? I am sure they would. But I haven't told ANYone about ANYthing I have been going through in the past almost-a-year. Well, this statistic is not quite right technically. I have told 1.5 person on Mel's, or rather the superficial version of it. I have told one person in real life about it all, the one whose "fault" this is...lol And I know she told at least two good friends about me, so in reality there may be about 5 people in real life who know. But none know from me.
The friends I have would all support me, I am positive. I wouldn't have friends who had a problem with homosexuality... I don't like to hang out with intolerant and narrow-minded people. But even knowing I would encounter support, I still will not seek that support anytime soon. I always like to rely on myself only, be as independent as possible. I tend to keep such personal things to myself, hidden deep inside my protective walls. It is hard and lonely sometimes to be living such a life but I tend to trust humans only to a certain point. I don't like to be vulnerable...
Anyways, I am opening up way too much inside this public thread already.........
Y'all take care of yourselves, ladies!!! Be true to yourselves!!
Footsie _________________ “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:21 pm
Sobu-Milkwo
Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Posts: 61
Location: All over the world
Your feelings and misgivings are perfectly human Footsie!
Footsie, if you have been keeping this thing to yourself, for so long, then it is perfectly normal and human to be nervous about it. Your sexual preference is nobody's business really. Nobody peaks into the bedrooms of heterosexuals to find out who they sleep with, if they are betraying their lovers or partners. Who really cares and who condemns them for doing what they do? Love is what matters, whether you feel it for a man or woman. Yes, your boyfriend does have a right to know about it, if he is wasting his emotions on a relationship that is not mutual from your side, the way he would like it to be. But how many of the others in your life needs to know, is another matter. Surely everyone needs only one partner or lover. So there is no need for the whole world to know that you intend to choose this partner or lover from the same sex, except the partner or lover in question. You can meet up with lesbian friends whenever and wherever you choose without feeling the obligation to let your heterosexual friends know. You would only be obliged to give a man the right signal if he thinks you are available because he doesn't see you with a boyfriend.
You are right about the world not being a kind place. It is unkind to all vulnerable people, not just the homosexuals. It is entirely upto you to decide how far you are prepared to go, the price you are willing to pay. You can never know what the price might be.
Homosexuality is being accepted as the norm in theory and on paper, but it is still not accepted by all and I doubt if it will ever be. Even if the statistics of 10% homosexuality is true, that still leaves 90% who are heterosexual and think of it as the normal way to be. A homosexual may be tolerated more and more, sure, but totally accepted by all, it is still a long way off, if it will happen at all.
Listen to your gut Footsie, and go with your deepest feeling and conviction. As far as this website is concerned, you are completely safe. So you should not have any concern. I think Mel needs to be given an award of some sort for hosting such a website, where women in transition can explore their feelings and be supported by other women in a similar situation without fear of exposure.
I wish you strength and wisdom for whatever it is that you undertake.
Milka Osterhase ( I think the name is cool, I love to nibble ) _________________ Life is what we make of it. The power to shape our destiny with the choices we make is the greatest power we human beings have been endowed with - from God. May we let go of the past and create our lives anew every single day.
Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:33 am
Eilidh Moderators
Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880
Footsie,
I wish you the best of luck, but I'm sure you won't need it. Let us know how it goes, and remember we're always here for you.
~Eilidh
Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:56 pm
FantasyDreamer
Joined: 07 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: England
Footsie
Coming out is never an easy thing to do but be brave girl and walk with your head high,be proud of who you are
Fantasy
Tue Aug 08, 2006 6:38 pm
Footprint
Joined: 24 May 2006
Posts: 478
Location: @ home around the globe
Vielen Dank und merci bien Milka Osterhase,
I sincerely, greatly and deeply appreciate your comprehensive response. That was very kind of you.
As for what you suggest about Mel needing to be given an award of some special sort…I TOTALLY and whole-heartedly agree with you. No doubt! She so deserves it, and not just her…all the mods and many members on here as well!
I am sorry for the belayed response but I am on the road again, away from cyberspace. So I only get to check my emails these days and that’s it.
It’s true what you say about not having to rub your sexuality under the public’s nose. It is privacy. And I tend to be protective of my emotional life of that certain kind. But on the other hand, I don’t like to have secrets and I don’t like to be a coward. In a way, I believe, you are being a coward if you keep your sexuality secret. It is a sign that you are afraid of what you are and don’t stand behind what you are, what you believe in, what and who you feel for. I would have a problem with such a behaviour… that’s part of the reason why I started to (slowly) come out last week.
Again, I very much appreciated your words, Milka Osterhase…wherever you are atop the pepper tree!
Cordial greetings from Cottbus,
Footsie _________________ “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:40 am
Footprint
Joined: 24 May 2006
Posts: 478
Location: @ home around the globe
Eilidh and Fantasy,
Thank you very much for your words as well…… they were and are well appreciated.
I am certainly not ashamed of who I am. In fact, the more I think about it, the gladder I become. But we will see, I haven’t really gotten very deep into this unknown life yet. I have the impression that this lesbian world is a special one…in a positive sense. And I hope my initial impression will get confirmed but I am quite certain it will. To be seen.
Eilidh, as for how my first baby step into coming out went last week…. Very well and very positive, in fact! The relationship to this male friend I came out to, changed suddenly. It is a much deeper and closer connection now than it was before. His reaction has been a great one, very supportive. Since then, we have opened up to each other quite a bit. He is the first person I am starting to tell what has been going on in the past year. Right after I came out, I left for a trip. He wrote me SMSs soon into the trip to check up on me and how I was doing.
It is quite nice and quite touching of a feeling to see that someone worries about you….
All for now. Thanks so much again for your words and well-wishes, Milka Osterhase, Eilidh, and Fantasy,
Footsie _________________ “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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But it'll be good, no reason to be nervous, only reason to be happy and brave and content.
I ever wanted to be "normal" (what IS "normal", if I may ask???) in my life! 
And I know she told at least two good friends about me, so in reality there may be about 5 people in real life who know. But none know from me.
Be true to yourselves!!
