Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland
how do i tell my parents???
on sunday my parents are visiting and taking me and my ex hubby out for dinner!
i am so worried my ex will tell them i am gay
i'm so scared of telling them as i don't want to loose my family however badly they have treated me
i know i will have to tell them sometime
but i can't bear to do it just now
feeling really vulnerable just now and know my ex will say something!
i can't even uninvite him as they phoned him to ask if he would come to dinner
just feeling so screwed up with this
i only admitted it to myself 9 months ago
in the past i know my parents have always frowned on gays
i admit i am scared of my family (for different reasons)
but just don't know what to do!!!
traceyx _________________ I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me
Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:15 pm
chordphrute
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Posts: 1412
Location: Nouvelle Orléans, Louisiane
out of curiosity...why would they invite you and your ex-husband to dinner simultaneously? _________________ "You can't kiss and keep your eyes open, they'll cross forever" - Rubyfruit Jungle
Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:28 pm
Tracey
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland
because they want to show there is no hard feelings!!!
they are only up here over night!
so they are taking both of us out at the same time!
i don't want to go!
but as they are staying with me i have no choice
it sucks!!! _________________ I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me
Mon Jun 05, 2006 10:02 pm
Stuckinahs
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 39
Location: New York
If it was me, I think I'd tell my parents I'd love to have dinner with them sometime but not with my ex-husband present. I'd bow out of the dinner arrangements and tell them to have a good time without you. Not in an ugly manner, mind you...just matter of fact. If nothing else, you have to let them know that you have no intentions of getting back together with your ex-husband because this arrangement sounds kind of like a set-up.
My parents, if they were living, would probably have the same reaction you believe your parents would have if they knew about you. So I never told them. And they never asked.
Mon Jun 05, 2006 10:42 pm
century
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 31
Location: UK
I'd go with the gracefully declining the dinner offer, perhaps mentioning you not feeling comfortable going out with them and your ex. The set up thing (above) sounds like a good reason/excuse too. If there is no way of getting out of it, could you not have a chat with your ex, and ask them politely not to bring the subject up.
Either way, good luck with it all ^^
Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:56 pm
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
Just a straggling thought here.... Has it occurred to you that your ex and your parents have already exchanged the information and that this dinner truely IS a huge set up to confront you in public where you may be less likely simply to get up and walk away from the whole confrontation?
Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:05 am
century
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 31
Location: UK
*gasp* That's an terrible suggestion. Are you suggesting that adults would actually do that? How degrading.
Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:09 am
Stuckinahs
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 39
Location: New York
Century...wish I could introduce you to my mother...that is EXACTLY the kind of thing she would have done. I have walked into more than one situation like that thinking all was innocent...only to be pounced upon.
You know, Tracey, until you are ready to come out to your family, you should not be pushed or tricked into it.
Please keep us posted on what happens.
Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:40 am
Tracey
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland
my parents do NOT want me to get back with my ex
they were so relieved when i left him
they just want to stay friends with him and show there is no hard feelings between any of us!!!
but i guess cavey you could be on the right tracks there!
i wouldn't put it past them to pull that stunt
i'm really not ready to tell them
but can see me being bulldozed into it
at least the place we are going i know the landlady
she is also the managing director of hollybush house where i go for respite
so if things get too hard i can get some support _________________ I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me
Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:42 pm
century
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 31
Location: UK
meep, that sounds so sly stuck. I feel for you. *hugs* Have you learnt to look out for it over the years then? XP ...come to think of it, it sounds like something my sister, and half my friends would do to me given the chance *mutters*
Glad your parents understand Tracey. Perhaps you should arrange something with your friend - the landlady - that if she's around, or someone else you know is, that they could come over and interrupt things between you all - on a fairly requent basis if needed - if you look too uncomfortable. Oooo, you could have a "get me out of this quick" sign/gesture for them to look out for. *nods*
Tue Jun 06, 2006 6:26 pm
Mairi bheag
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
Trace - no suggestions, but let me know how it goes.
Mb
xx
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