BACK TO HOME PAGE SITE NAVIGATION CONTACT POETRY FORUM STORY FORUM   Horoscope  Radio  Gallery  FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   PM's   
Log in 
 
General Forum Index -> Coming Out....

what shall i do now?

Ladies Lifestyle and Living Store
  Author    Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
dragonfly



Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 1
what shall i do now?

Hi guys

I could really do with some advice.

I have recently been thinking quite a lot about sexuality and have come to realise at 20 that i am definitely bisexual maybe even lesbian. For years i have been denying this to myself so much so that i believed i was straight, i can't say i'd never fall in love with a man but i'm definitely more attracted to women.

Now that i've accepted it, i feel like im in a sort of limbo. All my friends believe i'm straight and i don't want to go on pretending that i'm checking guys out when i'm not, i can see which guys look nice but i'm just not that bothered.

I don't know what to do about coming out and where to start. The thing i don't look gay, i mean i'm not a girly girl or anything but i look straight and i think people will be surprised. I think my friends and family will be ok with it, but it might take them a while.

I don't want to look gay either, are there many non stereotypical lesbians out there?

I don't really know any gay people and suddenly i find myself noticing them a lot more. What shall i do? I know that i should join a club but i don't feel ready but at the same time i can't keep going on the way i am.

dragonfly

Post Wed May 31, 2006 7:33 am 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Roman



Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3187


Dragonfly,
Seems like you have taken the first step and that is to be honest with YOURSELF about who and what you are.
As for the coming out part, I am not sure what to say to you.
I would look for as you said, as support group that deals with these issues.
Look for the nearest Ankors office if you have heard of them and go from there. They can give you advice and send you in the right direction in order to get the support you are looking for. Second, you have done a really good thing, here by coming to Mels. This is an amazing place to be and the women here are very helpful and caring. It's a good place to be!
Have you thought about talking about this with someone you trust?
Your best friend, a brother, sister, someone you know will NOT judge you?
That will hear you out and understand you?
I wish you luck!
And hey, Welcome to Mels, you will LOVE it here!
~Cheers, Jack
_________________
© Copywrite 1998 - 2015

~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~

Post Wed May 31, 2006 7:46 am 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
Amelie



Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 19


reminds me a bit of myself...

although it sounds a bit wishy washy I think it's really important to trust your gut instinct, you'll know when it feels right to tell someone, it was quite scary when I told my best friend who was the first person that I told but it was the BIGGEST release I cried briefly but then I was able to tell her about this woman that I fell in love with and I can ring her up or go and see her and just swoon over the thought of this woman.

I've only told one person since then but it was so much easier the second time and I know that whatever happens I can go to them and stay with them or whatever.

My only advice would be that it's best to tell people when you've accepted it yourself not when you're still not sure, but at the same time it might be helpful to be able to talk about how you feel with a close friend or family member, or even someone impartial like a councellor.

To summarise (because it seems that my only two posts here have been vague ramblings) you'll know when the moment is right to tell someone, don't be offended if it comes as a shock to them or it takes them a while to come round, You've had a long time to get used to it, they haven't.

Enjoy who you are, don't try and hide from it Smile

Post Wed May 31, 2006 9:22 am 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
  Display posts from previous:      
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  


Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

 


Search For Posters!


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

In Association with Amazon.com
     
Terms & Conditions Privacy Statement Acknowledgements