I have recently been thinking quite a lot about sexuality and have come to realise at 20 that i am definitely bisexual maybe even lesbian. For years i have been denying this to myself so much so that i believed i was straight, i can't say i'd never fall in love with a man but i'm definitely more attracted to women.
Now that i've accepted it, i feel like im in a sort of limbo. All my friends believe i'm straight and i don't want to go on pretending that i'm checking guys out when i'm not, i can see which guys look nice but i'm just not that bothered.
I don't know what to do about coming out and where to start. The thing i don't look gay, i mean i'm not a girly girl or anything but i look straight and i think people will be surprised. I think my friends and family will be ok with it, but it might take them a while.
I don't want to look gay either, are there many non stereotypical lesbians out there?
I don't really know any gay people and suddenly i find myself noticing them a lot more. What shall i do? I know that i should join a club but i don't feel ready but at the same time i can't keep going on the way i am.
~ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ~
Wed May 31, 2006 7:46 am
Amelie
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 19
reminds me a bit of myself...
although it sounds a bit wishy washy I think it's really important to trust your gut instinct, you'll know when it feels right to tell someone, it was quite scary when I told my best friend who was the first person that I told but it was the BIGGEST release I cried briefly but then I was able to tell her about this woman that I fell in love with and I can ring her up or go and see her and just swoon over the thought of this woman.
I've only told one person since then but it was so much easier the second time and I know that whatever happens I can go to them and stay with them or whatever.
My only advice would be that it's best to tell people when you've accepted it yourself not when you're still not sure, but at the same time it might be helpful to be able to talk about how you feel with a close friend or family member, or even someone impartial like a councellor.
To summarise (because it seems that my only two posts here have been vague ramblings) you'll know when the moment is right to tell someone, don't be offended if it comes as a shock to them or it takes them a while to come round, You've had a long time to get used to it, they haven't.
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