i grew up with those boy crazy cheerleader type girls as my bestfriends. i wasnt a cheerleader, but had many pointless relationships with poor guys. i knew i was probably gay when i was young but i just wouldnt let myself admit it, and now years later i delt with it and i am fine with accepting it as who i am. I just know my friends wont. And they really are my life, but i know how they feel about lesbians and its not good. And i know, 'if they cant accept who i am then who needs em' right? i do. haha. they are really good people with a closed mind when it comes to this. So, basicly i just wanna know if anyone ever had this problem and what in the heck did they do!
Feedback would be awesome! haha
thanks
Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:45 am
Tigger Site Admin
Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 890
Hi
I have found through my experience in life... its who you are not... what you are that counts and if your friends really care about you they will stand by you.
It may be difficult at first but they soon come round.
Good luck.
Tigs
Fri Oct 01, 2004 9:53 pm
Eaglet
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 13
well i never told my friends outright about me either. and for some i only hinted at it. and it was covered with so much teasings people might just think im a joker. i can be quite "non-serious" often.
Sat Oct 02, 2004 5:52 pm
twilight
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1035
Location: First Star on the Right Straight on til Morning
OK I hung out with the cheerleaders, too. I was mascot and so it gave me pleanty of excuses to see up their skirts, lol. Anyway, I digress. I am past the high school or college age where I actually care what those gals think. I am who I am. If I saw them again, I would not care if they knew about me. I am close to several friends here and do not care if they know, although my closest friends are lesbian also so they 'knew' anyway. I say whoever are your true friends will stick to you no matter who you sleep with. And if they don't then do you really want friends that you have to fake being straight around? _________________ Twilight, Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Fun and Games
The lengthening shadows wait The first pale stars of twilight. ~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:12 pm
Eaglet
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 13
hmmm its tough to "come out" in a way. but im often so retarded on the boy-watching raydars that i came across more as "innocent" than "lesbian". hehehe. and i dont wanna shock them somehow....its weird telling everyone when sometimes im not even sure.
Sun Oct 03, 2004 2:06 pm
Trouble
Joined: 16 Sep 2004
Posts: 28
Location: San Jose Ca
Coming out is a very personal decision and is never an easy one. My best advice is to relax, don't stress it too much. You will know when the time is right.
You may very well lose a friend or two... I came out about 12 years ago now, and much to my suprise my family was supportive and I lost only one friend.
I now lead a very open life, I have a wonderful girl, wonderful friends, and my life is full. I can't imagine ever being in the closet again, but again... do it if and when you are ready!
Mon Oct 04, 2004 2:37 am
jlybn57
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 15
Location: Kansas City metro area
I agree that you will probably know when the time is right and you should not force yourself to come out to anyone that you are not ready to come out to. I was surprised at who was supportive of me. I didn't come out until college, though, and I have no contact with anyone from high school so I guess that makes a difference.
Often, when people realize that they personally know someone who is GLBT they may struggle with it for a while, but their views often then change. The "issues" become more real to them and they can see that we are no different than anyone else (at least in most ways!). Perhaps you will help them to be more open-minded in the long run. They may thank you for it someday... But there are no guarantees! Like you said - if they drop you like a hot potato, who needs them? Hard, isn't it?
Jlybn _________________ "There is nothing mixed up about a woman who loves women, who wants to have sex with them, or who identifies as a lesbian. It is society that is mixed up because it punishes people for not conforming to its gender stereotypes."
~ Edward Stein
Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:55 pm
Trouble
Joined: 16 Sep 2004
Posts: 28
Location: San Jose Ca
quote:Originally posted by jlybn57:
But there are no guarantees! Like you said - if they drop you like a hot potato, who needs them? Hard, isn't it?
I know we are all different and we all handle rejection in different ways. However, simply... if someone is going to quit loving me based on who I chose to love then I really don't need them in my life... With age and a little wisdom came that revelation.
Tue Oct 05, 2004 3:09 am
Wutterbug
Joined: 05 Oct 2004
Posts: 13
Location: CA
I know it may be hard, but for me it's a good experience. Mind you, I loaned a game to a christian girl, came out to her and now she isn't returning my calls, meanwhile my video game is still at her house... damnit. So make sure you get any loaned items back first.
But over all the experience is good. No more intense guilt trips because I'm a "pervert in their hollier than thow midsts". (which is how I felt)
If you're really feeling bad about it and it's nagging at you, telling them will help, but if you feel threatened by them, be careful how you go about it. A freind of mine was slapped by her best friend when she first came out to her.
There are a lot of good and bad stories about coming out. You'll have to consider your situation and the possibilities and wether you think it's worth it or not. If you're not in a gay club or strait gay allience joining one at your school or whatever may help you a lot even if it's scary at first. _________________ "If ducks mate for life, when do they eat?"
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