It’s usual, it’s ok, when sons are closer to their mothers and daughters to their fathers…I’m not an exception. But some days ago my father told me one thing…I suppose, he even hasn’t understood, what he said. He knows about my “preferring girls”. And I know, that he doesn’t understand it, but he told me: “It’s your life. Do what you want. You are my daughter and I love you.” These were the best words for me. BUT! Some days ago I spoke to him about some problems with my friends…and he said: “We are homo sapiens! We are people! And we must be normal! Without any pathological deviations!” Well, I know, that even in the dictionary, at least in Russian, the definition of the word homosexual includes “sexual perversion”…But I have never thought that I could hear it from my father…
Sat Nov 26, 2005 2:49 pm
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
Your father loves you, and said pretty much what my dad said..... tho, my dad included i will love you no matter who you love dear, as long as you are happy and safe..... am i deviant? no way, huh uh, just a lesbian, plain and simple... and I refuse to accept any definition other than homosapien... we ARE normal..
Perhaps i have misunderstood your post. But i am very happy to be normal and make no special claim on homosapien. Being of lesbian sexuality does not make me a pathological deviant or difficult to understand. I am simply human.
To my knowledge, in the USA dictionary, being lesbian does make me sexually perverse.
Psssst... everybody is odd in some manner to somebody else. _________________ " The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews
Sat Nov 26, 2005 3:07 pm
Dueceswild
Joined: 13 Apr 2005
Posts: 304
Location: WV
well if it helps I've always been the UNnormal one in my family, this I except, even before I came out as a lesbian I was the oddball in my family for one reason or another. But I've also come to realize that everyone has their own version of what normal is. For me it is that I happen to prefer women WAY more than men. I know God made me this way. That makes me normal in my eyes. My parents also did the whole, its not normal, its against Gods wishes things.. My suggestion is to save your problems with your gay friends or girlfriends for other people that are gay or do understand the challenges we face. And only take the problem that your parents understand to them.
Hope I helped
D _________________ Never do anything you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics!
Sat Nov 26, 2005 5:14 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
hm...well, i don't see problem indeed in the definition...
you see, the man whom i trusted, who was the closest to me, he told me that i'm not just unnormal, but i have pathological deviations!
Sun Nov 27, 2005 2:28 pm
Mairi bheag
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
There is no problem with "normal". That simply means things which conform to the "norm". The majority fall into that category obviously.
The problem comes when people confuse "normal" with "normative". Ashamed's father is doing that. There is absolutely no rational imperative why people who are not "normal" should be told, forced, or made to feel that they have ANY obligation to conform.
Hell, I probably don't even qualify as a "normal" lesbian. And do you know what? - I don't give a damn!
I share many things with Ashamed's father: two arms, two legs, a head, and so on (I assume). We have more in common than we have differences. In many respects we do fall into several (most) societal, biological, psychological "norms". No problem. Where we do not, I don't expect him to change to suit me, and I am damned if I am going to change to suit him or anyone else.
None of which helps my friend in Russia. Sorry.
Mb
xx
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Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:59 pm
ashamed
Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Russia
Mairi bheag, thank you)))))*smiling*
indeed, you know, what i though about, when i were reading your reply?)))) about..hmm...Victor Gugo..i don't know how it's written in english, i even don't know how to write it in French...but i want to say about Kvazimodo *i suppose, you'll understand))))* Indeed, when i've read this book, some days ago i reread it, i saw one thing. Between all these human beings, like capitan, Gipsy Esmiralda, priest the most human was Kvazimodo. Though he was look like a moncter OUTside, he was the best, the clearest and the purest person INside.
just thoughts
Tue Nov 29, 2005 2:20 pm
Mairi bheag
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland
Indeed! Victor Hugo's "
Notre Dame de Paris
" - the bellringer Quasimodo...
A good analogy, Ashamed.
Mb
xx
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