My human resources director told me that someone saw me kiss my girlfriend goodbye last week when being dropped off at work in the parking lot, and that they were grossly offended. Wow. I was in my car!
I don't really know what to think. Everyone is really nice to me at work. It's a small company... now I feel really uncomfortable.
I called LAMBDA, and they said to make a formal complaint to the hr department that what that person said made me "feel uncomfortable". That will only make me feel *more* uncomfortable. Then where do I go from there?
Fri May 27, 2005 6:04 pm
Phoenix Moderators
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida
Well, this is not an easy situation. If you want to stay and they are homophobic keep your relationship private and don't kiss goodbye at work, even in your car. If this is not tolerable, start looking for another job while you have a job and find some place that is more tolerant.
If you feel they are not homophobic, I would complain. If it just a few there who are making problems and the management is not on their side, complain and get it in writing. It is not against the law to kiss goodbye in public. I am sure they would have complained if you two were holding hands and they saw it.
my best to you laquer,
brat _________________ "A little work won't hurt you bad, but just in case I'm wrong, you'll be smiling when they pronounce you dead." Amanda Marshall 'This could take all night
Sat May 28, 2005 1:16 pm
Lacquer Paint
Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 10
thank you Brat
Tue May 31, 2005 4:39 pm
Radioactive
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
Posts: 158
Location: Under the Rainbow in NC
*grumbling* ok, I find it grossly offending that it's ok if this person were to kiss their opposite sex partner goodbye and noone would think anything of it. We've come along way, but not long enough.
Ok, I know that wasn't a helpful statement, but it really grates my last gay nerve that many str8 ppl find our love and relationships so intolerable.
Personally, I wouldn't change a thing in your situation...put some resumes out maybe, but is there any danger of you losing your job due to the complaint, or was it just a formality that it was brought to your attention?
Ya know, I've realized that the more ppl see us treating our relationships just as openly as we would treat them if we were str8, the more it will just become "normal". Our relationships are only "abnormal" in others eyes because we feel the need to hide them, which only encourages the thought that we should hide and act ashamed. ok..*knocking self off my activist soapbox* HUGZ and good luck hon. Sorry this happened to you. _________________ Wanna make ya Glow....
Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:14 am
beautifullyjaded
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 289
Location: lost in love
Radioactive, if I agreed with you anymore it'd be scary. I cannot believe that someone would complain about a simple kiss when they've probibly done more on their desks than she did in her car. It's not like you were fucking in your car or anything, so they need to get their thumb out of their ass, shut the hell up, and deal with the fact that lesbians (thank God) are not just found in Hollywood. Now, I could go on for hours, but I think I'll get off my soapbox and leave you with that, Lacquer. Never be ashamed or afraid of WHO (not what) you are. I'm voting you file a complaint against the person that complained about you. Whomever it was had no right to try to get you in trouble. The way I see it, all people are intitled to their opinions, as long as they don't clash with mine. A little humor to cheer you up.
Hugs,
Bjaded _________________ You've jaded me and that's beautiful
*************
There is no such thing as normal
Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:50 pm
Fleur
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 164
Location: Devon, UK
Lacquer
I imagine that your work colleagues would be as appalled as you by this person's complaint. Try to remember that this is one crank who is living in a different century. And don't give her the pleasure of knowing that she's upset you (I imagine it is a 'she' - the sad truth is that most guys would be queuing for tickets to watch!).
As to whether you should change your behaviour, only you can decide. But don't feel bound to make a stand for other people - it's your life and you should do what makes you feel comfortable.
Good luck!
Fleur
Tue Sep 27, 2005 1:46 pm
allein
Joined: 25 Sep 2005
Posts: 18
Location: USA
Words to live by...
If you are already uncomfortable, perhaps more uncomfort is not needed. Personally, the greatest thing about being a lesbian (aside from the obvious- wink, wink) is acknowledging the fact that you are comfortable enough in your own skin to have enough courage to be independant. The only thing that should be bothering you is how you feel embarassed now because this other person filed a complaint. I hope you dont feel embarassed because you were kissing your g'f and someone else saw (understand the difference?) I say, build your confidence back up and be the "bigger" person in the situation- her insecurities are her problem- not yours, and just leave it be. It's only as embarassing as you think it is. And besides- when it comes down to it, it's just gossip... _________________ I took down all of the pictures of you, then realized that they were the only left signifying your existence...
Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:19 am
GraceEnough
Joined: 10 Sep 2005
Posts: 19
Location: AZ
I heart your perspective Allein, and I think you're absolutely right...
_________________ "Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me" -Joan Armatrading
Sat Oct 01, 2005 9:27 am
Linda Bray
Joined: 22 Aug 2004
Posts: 4052
Lacquer,
This is an issue that many of us have faced from time to time. I lost a job once because of homophobia....I guess the question is...do you want to fight? I won my battle...but it was a hard tough battle. If you do want to fight this....look up the Gay Yellow pages online...or you can buy the book on-line or from a local bookstore. They come out with a new edition each year. Look up your state...and you will find resourses in your area as well as attorneys. You may be able to file a complaint against your company for discrimination...it won't be easy. If you would like further assistance please feel free to PM me. i wish you the best of luck.
Peace,
Linda _________________ a poets heart is never empty....
Linda Bray
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Then where do I go from there?
