Joined: 23 Jan 2005
Posts: 14
Location: greensboro, nc
The Lottery of Life
I am prone to depression. When I'm in its grip I try to find the thoughts that lighten me. The following does this for me. I should not have been born, not because I don't deserve to be alive, rather the odds of me being born were stacked heavily against me. My mother had 30 (roughly) child-bearing years, which translates into her having 360 total eggs in her body (one each month for thirty years). My father had millions of sperm and who knows where they all went or when they went. Of all his sperm there was but one which combined with only one of my mother's eggs would in the end turn into me. Any other combination of sperm and egg would have led to someone else. So, in the Lottery of Life, I won. I am. What did I win? The one that is me was born into a spaceship we call a body. It is kind of controlled by me. I can go pretty much anywhere I want, anywhere that feet can carry me. I can walk on roads and paths, up mountains or down to the sea. I can ride in planes and ships and cars. I am very free to go where I please. Further, I have been born into a timemachine. My timemachine began at my birth and while it is somewhat limited because it can only carry me through the time from my birth to my fate in the forward arrow of time, it does provide me with a period of time I can call my own. And even more, I was not born a male. I was born female and lesbian. What more can I have asked for? So, when I get on my pity pot and feel low and near worthless, I think of what I do have and what I have been given and this usually makes me feel better, not the best, but better. Deserve life? I don't know the answer to that, but I have been blessed with life and it is my duty to try to do something with it. The something I do doesn't have to be a great and powerful thing, it justs needs to be something I'm not ashamed of, something that at the end I am glad I did. I hope this thought cheers someone else besides me. I love you all and when you next feel bad think you could have been born a man! Yuk! Nataliet
_________________ All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are
Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine
These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:21 am
Purp
Joined: 20 May 2008
Posts: 174
Location: I'm at my computer
I can identify with the depression, and I am glad you are who you are. _________________ Smile! You are loved!
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