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Third Person Writes

LifeVita6
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Sunny



Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 1571
Location: Massachusetts
Third Person Writes

As I continue to write about emotional personal stuff, I sometimes would prefer to put it into third person, perhaps so as to not feel quite so exposed. But as i've tried to detatch a bit from my relationship writes by playing with third person accounts, I continue to run across the dilemma of trying to clarify which "she" or "her" I'm talking about. Confused Has anyone come up with any creative ways of dealing with this, shy of naming each character? Thanks.

Sunny Cool
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All poems posted by Sunny: ©2006 - 2007 Sunny (UN: Sunny at melswebs.com). All rights reserved. Any unauthorized reproduction is strictly prohibited. In other words, if you want to copy it, you need to get Sunny’s permission first.

Post Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:55 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


Just off the top of my head...

Example...

From the balcony he did watch as they lay by the pool
The sandy blonde with her hair tied up in a bun
She reached out and caressed the others bum
As he saw this he nearly fell from his stool

The moans of the brunette could be heard
As her lover tended to her desires
From his hand the beer did fall
As the site below became blurred

I know it is not well done but like I said...
It is off the top of my head.

Sunny there are many ways it can be approached in the third person.
One thing you could do is to have "she" be one person while "her" is the other and it may take a little manipulation of wording to accomplish but that is one way of doing it.

Think of yourself as being on the outside looking in...you are the narrator of the story...and play around with it and it will come to you.

When I think of something else I will get back to you.

Smile

Eiregirl Arrow

Post Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:30 am 
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desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted


I am constantly struggling with that one when I write stories...
Usually I find a descriptive noun.. such as "her lover", as in :
she kissed her lover's nipple
instead of:
she kissed her nipple
which sounds masturbatory!!!! Very Happy Laughing
You just have to shape it in such a way that there is clarity...as long as the writer is aware of the problem, there should be no confusion in the final product. Very Happy

Post Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:07 pm 
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ae



Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 1025
Location: that tragic backwater, the gulf coast of florida


Take the third-person omniscient, addressing one of them. Then one is YOU and the other is HER/SHE, but neither is ME/I and there is no US... yet both are them, somehow removed from you, just a bit...
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"...a soul that wakes up to find itself wandering, unwanted, between the spheres."

Post Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:48 am 
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Sunny



Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 1571
Location: Massachusetts


Pale and ae,
Thanks for the suggestions. I'm getting really frustrated with this issue. I have tried to "depersonalize" some of my work and am really struggling with it. I suppose as it is with life, women can really complicate things, especially if there's more than one...
In one of my recent writes, I gave one of the characters a name. I wasn't totally happy with that appraoch though, so I'll keep playing around with style. WIshing you both all the best.
Sunny Cool
_________________
All poems posted by Sunny: ©2006 - 2007 Sunny (UN: Sunny at melswebs.com). All rights reserved. Any unauthorized reproduction is strictly prohibited. In other words, if you want to copy it, you need to get Sunny’s permission first.

Post Sun Nov 26, 2006 9:38 am 
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