poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry
BACK TO HOME PAGE SITE NAVIGATION CONTACT STORY FORUM GENERAL FORUM   Horoscope  Radio  Gallery  FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   PM's   
Log in 

Poetry Forum Index -> Request feedback

US AGAIN

LifeVita6
  Author    Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
apoetsreality



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 47
Location: north augusta , south carolina
US AGAIN

Us Again

I've done you wrong I'm sorry,
the pains still there I know.
The hurt out weighs the love I'm sure,
blame you for the hate I don't.

The clocks still turning,
to bad it won't turn back.
My mind wants to move forward,
while your hearts still in the past.

Forgive me I wish you could,
forget It I know you can't.
Love me I wish you would,
or Is It you loved me too much before.

Now we are dangling here,
within a past not yet forgotten.
The future waits ahead,
take my hand lets move forward-
and try this once again.

I need a chance to show you,
open up your heart you'll see.
That through the mistakes I've made,
I've grown into who you need me to be.

My love Is stronger than ever,
a love for you and you alone.
No one can take your place,
with you my heart has found a home.

Faithfull, trustworthy, truthful- not me,
at least not before as from what you have seen.
All this and more Is who I am now,
I just need the chance to prove my love to you somehow.

I'm not asking you to forget,
just to take this leap.
Return your heart where It belongs,
and take this walk with me.

Ahead lies our happiness,
for us alone to share.
You are my one devotion,
In which no one compares.

I love you more than I can ever express,
I'm sorry I ever hurt you and the pain I caused In the process.
I need you to look and see,
that your the only one for me.

Please give me back your heart,
start once again.
For your my everything,
baby let's be us again.

_________________
Dont base what you want on appearance dig deeper and connect to a lasting image, for looks may fade but the soul last forever.

Post Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:10 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
lemons



Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 964
Location: here ... with her <3


Awww, it sounds like you are going through a hard time right now ....... I hope writing provides some release for you ......

another wonderful write ....... take care, k?
_________________
"No smile is more beautiful than one that has struggled through the tears" ~Unknown

Post Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:13 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail  Reply with quote  
apoetsreality



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 47
Location: north augusta , south carolina


writting is always a release for me this poem right here is actually a old poem of mine just thought I would share it with the board.....thanks for your reply and you take care as well.
_________________
Dont base what you want on appearance dig deeper and connect to a lasting image, for looks may fade but the soul last forever.

Post Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:16 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
ghost



Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 2828
Location: MIA


reality, i really hope she finds forgiveness in her heart. sometimes it can take a long time for the hurt to heal.

take care, as mello said.

regards
ghost

ps if you would like technical help with your poems, let me know by private message. you can also post your poems in the Emotional section above.
_________________
MIA

Post Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:18 am 
 View user's profile Send private message  Reply with quote  
apoetsreality



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 47
Location: north augusta , south carolina


thanks so much ghost and yes i have posted one in the emotinal section as well called just when.
_________________
Dont base what you want on appearance dig deeper and connect to a lasting image, for looks may fade but the soul last forever.

Post Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:20 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
Xalia1
Moderators


Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love


Reality,

This was a beautiful write.
I understand how you must be feeling, or at least how you felt when you wrote this. It's kind of like you took the things I've been thinking and trying to say lately and laid it out perfectly. Thank you for sharing this.
Peace to you hun.

Hugs,
Xalia
_________________
Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~

Post Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:32 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
apoetsreality



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 47
Location: north augusta , south carolina


Glad you could connect with the poem xalia........everyone has been there a time or two....
_________________
Dont base what you want on appearance dig deeper and connect to a lasting image, for looks may fade but the soul last forever.

Post Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:02 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger  Reply with quote  
scruples



Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 151
Location: Long Island, NY
Us Again

You have a romantic charm, but I can't pinpoint where.
You are earnest in this poem, like on a mission to get this
girl back into your life. I know how that feels..I messed up
real badly in a relationship that went sour all because i had a big fat mouth.

..so I relate.

However, you need to work on some rhyme scheme techniques.
Try mapping out a page let's say aba cdc aa bb cc dd or something like that. It will provoke the words to have formation and carry more meaning.

Nice Idea

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 1:12 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website  Reply with quote  
  Display posts from previous:      
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  


Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
LifeVita3

 

 



Search For Posters!


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

In Association with Amazon.com
     
Terms & Conditions Privacy Statement Acknowledgements