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Rose Autumn Melancholy



Joined: 23 Jan 2005
Posts: 280
Location: Dallas Texas
Blocked

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I shall. I have been having the hardest time trying to write ... well, anything. And it's driving me... words used to come so easy. Now though, I got nothing. It's like when I was depressed and in dark places, amazing works came out of me. And now I feel just emotions and general and so I'm not stuck emotionally, but my writing is....oh grrr, you see? i just got off point there. anyways, when i was in the dark places, i could write and now that i'm not in a darkness, i can't. when i was deeply in love (well my first love anyways, so it was a pure one, seemed like being in love....) i could also get out words....anyways....i'm going on about something else....does anyone have any advice for me? to try and fix whatever must be broken?
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Post Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:20 pm 
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DanceofSorrows



Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837


Rose,

Nothing may be broken at all. It hits everyone from time to time from one extreme to another. But I can sure relate to needing to write and having an invisible wall erected - writers bock. And I also can relate to writing more in crises or in depression.

For what it's worth, I have discovered many reasons why I get these blocks for myself and I will share them with you. Growing up, writing was more than just an outlet, it was a way to self affirm although I did not realize it back then. I just loved it. But with writing, unless you have a group or a forum, it can be the loneliest hobby. So one of my reasons is to self affirm or self discovery or even to process emotions or experiences intellectually. When I am having a hard time with any of those things I have a harder time writing.

But there are other reasons to mention. Fear of polarization is another thing that freezes the ink on me. A poem or story seems to be more a permanent platform than the actual emotion, thought or situation. If I am writing to process something, I do not want the words to be polarized by a frozen space on paper. In other words, if I choose to contradict in the ongoing process of evaluation then I will give myself that freedom. But I have to write the poem as a 'whole' with conflicting thoughts and emotions altogether and that is sometimes hard or time consuming. It means that I also have to allow a messy room (not trying for the perfect poem or the poem that always makes sense come to page) but a genuine showing of all those things that were previously tucked in the back of closets or behind the binders on the bookshelf (if I may speak metaphorically here). But I have to be willing to experience rejection in writing, a polarization of fleeting emotions or thoughts, and even misunderstanding when I do that. And too, genuine writing is very revealing, I am not always in a mood to share with strangers.
Though it is through sharing that helps me continue my desire to write.

You know what really helps me the most? Reading poems that are god awful honest, creative, and also fearless. Sometimes I will read a poem and think 'wow she actually said that here and broke the taboo'.
Other writers can write something in such style, form or fearlessness and really push me internally to the page. Good writers inspire another, they throw out the rope and tie the knot for the swaying bridge... and then walk across encouraging others to follow. I am a firm believer that genuine writing inspires good writing. Iron sharpens iron. Fearless writing sparks fire all over the boards. I have written my best work only in the company of really good writers.

But for years now I have regressed for this reason or that. So it is back to square one for me and I don't mind. My square one Break the chains and find your voice.


Dance~

Post Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:39 pm 
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